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A Day in the Life

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by spring, Dec 30, 2003.

  1. caroline

    caroline Well-Known Member

  2. We have all lied to get dope. I think it is part of the game. I have scammed my BEST friends in the world, people who would give me their life. For what? For ten, twenty, bucks and a chance to score. It is an evil drug that we're battling.
  3. BadBillyBiker

    BadBillyBiker Member

    Spring - that was on the money. Though the circumstances difer; I recognize the desperation. Today is the first day I faced the fact that I'm strung out. I had more than 2 decades clean. I was perscribed codiene; liked it a lot, scammed a doctor a couple of times. I used Saturday nights only, then one Wednesday night, then a Monday morning, and now, well you can guess the rest.
    My plan is to tell my girlfriend first - she has 20 years clean herself. Then I am going to have to go in-patient to get clean. Honestly I have tried hard as hell to not use for a day and I haven't been succesful in 2 months.
    There are some speed bumps; I was very active in NA and did a lot of work with jails and prisons from county lock ups to Federal penitiaries. So there will be some crow to eat, but I am a volunteer here, not a victim.
    Today was hell. I did a bag and went to work, leaving my stash behind, thinking I could make it. By 10 in the morning my eyes were tearing; my nose running; yawning every 3 minutes,,, couldn't think,,, getting more and more desperate by the minute. I got 40 milligrans methadone but by 5 it was no help. During that time I found this website and read your post - it gave me hope. I had a great life and the only thing between me and it right now is a little pride and a few days of sick time.
  4. detroit28

    detroit28 Active Member

    i have been here. i was there last week. its so strange it seems so much longer to me than just a week. time seems to go slower now that im closer to being clean. some may say that it should be out of my system by now. but just a week ago i was there.
  5. davy87nj

    davy87nj Active Member

    Spring, that story might as well be a reenactment of many days of my life useing heroin. We're pretty different till we become addicts, then all of the stories become similar.

    The part where you implied that the dealer wanted you to do "something" for the shortage of money hits me hard. I used to sell heroin to a 15 year old girl(one of my many customers i over charged to make sure i could get mine for free). I would never do that, but once i moved and she was deep in addiction she got my connect and now she is still an addict i hear and pregnant by an illegal mexican heroin dealer. Think she got on methadone because of the pregnancy, which is probably good for her right now. I donno i still feel responsible for giving her the dope getting her into the game at such a young age.

    I used to wake up in the morning in phoenix summer time with my a/c blaring(because i was so out of it at night i never turned it down, or one of the junkie room mates turned it all the way up). my first thing to do was shoot up before school (technical school). Well it was freezing and i could never hit a vein when it was cold, i used to sit out side on the steps to my apartment and try and fix. The dumb **** i used to do that seemed perfectly acceptable in my mind at that time. i slept in front of gas stations in the ghetto for hours after i have fixed, and waited for dealers all day long before, anyways i typed too much as usual, i just really connect with your story, and you're a good writer.
  6. rugby

    rugby Well-Known Member

    I always love reading this post. I've been through some similar situations myself and I'm so glad I don't have to go there anymore. Life as a junkie is complete chaos. Thanks for the reminder spring!
  7. ab.the.zill

    ab.the.zill New Member

    You are the sole reason I decided to join this site.
    Thank you.
    It is such a huge relief to know people know exactly how I felt/feel. Clean for 2 months AND COUNTING! I am the happiest I have been in a long, long time... but giving up the I.V. was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Knowing that there are people out there that have been hooked to the I.V., have gotten clean, and *most importantly* stayed that way is an amazing andhuge inspiration for me. Thanks again for posting threads that have touched my heart in ways only people like us can understand.:)
  8. lexabear86

    lexabear86 New Member

    This story is so haungtingly similar to how I have spent the better part of the past six years...so much of our addicition comes from the fast life style of a junkie...always thinking of how to get the next fix. Once you get it, you pretty much can't even enjoy the high because you have to make sure ur gonna be able to come up with a Way to get more before that runs out. Eventually it just becomes so exhausting but we still continue to do it...all for those 10-20 seconds immediately after doing a bag...then back to square one. I have just joined this site and was hoping to get some input while I detox the next few days..I guess I should post my own thread
  9. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    How's the book Spring?
  10. spring

    spring Administrator

    Sadly I stopped the project.. The book "Anatomy of a Heroine".... will most likely never become a finished product.
    The further I got into it, the harder it got to be able to document details without hurting feelings and/or causing problems with others involved.
    These facts were necessary in order to tie the story together, how one incident inspired another incident and how certain things I experienced while growing up all contributed to the kind of person I turned out to be.
    Yes, it ends up to be a success story but the cost to others was going to too great by dredging up old stuff. I couldnt figure a way around it unless I could be sure none of my family and some of my friends never got their hands on the book...lol.
    So, unless I figure out a way, it's never going to be published. I thought about changing it from non-fiction/autobio to fiction but even then, it would be hard to avoid bad vibes with those involved.
  11. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    I completely understand!
  12. spring

    spring Administrator

    I knew you would ;)

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