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BF is in Rehab, and detoxing off Methadone....

Discussion in 'Detoxing from Methadone' started by Cianna, Jul 24, 2014.

  1. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    He was taking 140mgs/day, also using Xanax and drinking. He has been through detox before, but not with this high of a dose, and he hadn't been drinking or using Xanax at the time... His case worker is concerned due to his dose amount and length of time he's been on that high of a dose.

    Im fortunate that I don't have any chemical addictions, but I need advice on what I can do from home to make it easier. He has been there for 2 full days, and his case manager called me this morning to give me a heads up that he is going into a really bad phase of detoxing. My BF told me when he went in that he really wants stuff from home, so I am putting together a care package for him, anything I should put in there? I know he is not going to want to eat, likely going to have the chills.. He has his favorite blanket, its fuzzy LOL

    Any help would be appreciated, I want to do all I can to help him be successful!


    Cianna (pronounced kee-AHN-na) :)
  2. I just jumped off of a similar dose of methadone..I am using suboxone to get off and now I am tapering that.. I think when I was in detox 67 days ago all I needed was comfortable surroundings like u said his blanket. Hopefully he has his pillow and at least a few different changes and types of clothes. Pictures of his favorite people or pets.Music if he is allowed .Maybe some magazines or funny movies. I hope he is keeping himself hydrated it is so important and helped soooo much.. Chocolate or something sweet helps the natural endorphins to start producing.. How long will he be there? Are they using any medications to help with the symptoms ? He is fortunate to have you and probably the most important thing is prayer for him and encouragement ..I hope wherever he is they will educate him about PAWS post acute withdrawal symptoms.I did not know about them and went Back on methadone the last time I detoxed because after the acute withdrawals I started to get depressed and it felt like it would last forever.. But that is a natural process along with other symptoms that can happen up to 2 years after detoxing . But that is my brain learning to function again naturally.. I hope this info helps you .. Getting. Off of methadone was the best thing I ever did for myself..I have never looked back.:redface:
  3. freakedout

    freakedout Moderator

    How long is the detox program? Is it as long as he needs or is the length of time determined by his insurance company? Is he doing this because he wants to or is it in response to a crisis like trying to sidestep job or legal problems?
  4. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    He is doing a 30 day detox, then 30 day rehab. He is at a facility that uses both 12 Step and holistic whole body therapies. He is doing this because he wanted to. He really made the decision almost suddenly. He had been talking about beginning to taper his methadone, and was starting to fixate on that, and how long it was going to take. Then the Xanax got a hold of him, and I made him get off it due to how lethargic it was making him with 140mgs of Methadone. I was terrified every time he got behind the wheel of a car, because he would nod off while driving. I am so relieved that he made this choice BEFORE he hit a really bad low. He did have a car accident, ironically, it wasn't his fault, but it scared him nonetheless. He has a prosthetic eye, and when the cops took the report, he had to tell them about the Methadone. Now he has to go though all kinds of hoops to keep his license. I think that was the last straw for him. He told me that he is sick and tired of Methadone and substances dictating his life. He couldn't make plans for longer that 2 weeks, because he was on 13 day take homes. He hated having to tell people he was on Methadone, because of the stigma. He was also just tired of being muted, not feeling fully... He is not looking forward to detox, his case manager said its worse than when he detoxed off heroin. He has detoxed off heroin, and then 100mgs of Methadone. He relapsed both times because they released him while he was still feeling sick, and he couldn't get the Methadone, so he used. Then got Suboxone, liked it but his insurance wouldn't pay for it. So, he went to Methadone again. He was actually doing really well, and like I said was planning to taper, but then he started drinking again, and had a bad bout of anxiety and started taking Xanax. It was all downhill from there! He just kind of threw his hands up and said screw it, "Im just going to into a 60 day rehab and shake this once and for all." Thankfully, I have a lot of clinical experience, and lots of experience dealing with insurance companies etc. My daughter has a terminal illness, doctors, medication, etc is allll too familiar for me, and easy for me to navigate. The first thing I did was have him change his insurance to a really good PPO, and he has access to many more options.

    Is it normal for him to be high doses of codeine, then taper off that (12 hours) and go onto 1200-1800mgs of Ibuprofen? He is an opiate addict, I wouldn't think that giving him opiates would be a good idea.... But addiction and detox medicine is a new ballpark for me, and strangely there is not a whole lot of accessible info out there! I am the queen of internet research, and its frustrating how little info there is out there.

    Thanks again!

  5. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    First, YEY!! I don't have physiological experience with addiction, but my mother was a heroin addict, she died in '86. My adoptive brother was also an addict... pretty much any drug, he didnt discriminate... He died in '99. I was around for him to go to rehab 3 times, and he didnt get past 30 days before relapsing. I admire those of you who are choosing your health and life. Intellectually I understand it. The solution is simple.... and the hardest! I have found that those in recovery are generally very strong of character and will. I commend you!

    Since this is his 3rd trip to rehab, we packed him up! LOL He has his pillows, with my perfume on them, his blankie, :), and plenty of clothes. We even packed him a couple sets of dress clothes "Just in case." he said. LOL The intake counselor laughed when she saw us coming in with his luggage... and his full size floor fan! Not his first rodeo.... But, the 3rd time is the charm!!! We are confident this time its going to take. The last couple times he went in his relationships were fragile, with his family and his gfs. This time he is going in with a solid circle around him.

    I just printed off a few pictures for him, framed them, and sending them tomorrow. I write him every day, and mail it everyday. He loves getting mail when he's in there. He is able to call me, and text me occasionally. This facility lets him have his iPod, laptop, and I sent him with my Kindle Fire. Opened up and Amazon account, he has Pandora on his iPod. They are going to be doing a lot of outdoor activities as well as changing his diet.

    I read somewhere about red meat being bad during and after detox? This boy is from Texas! LOL I know he will abide whatever diet they tell him to follow, but, I also know there are going to be times when he is going to cave and indulge in a t-bone. He LOVES candy, I got him on dark chocolate... :) The day he went in he has a stash of all kinds of candy. But, his case manager said that he doesn't want him eating a lot of refined sugar. I know that generally white refined sugar is the devil... (which is why it tastes so damn good!).

    He knows about PAWS, and his case manager gave me an overview this morning. Im glad he did. I have begun to research that as well. I am now prepared for the mood swings, etc. PAWS is why he went back on Methadone as well. We are hoping that doing a 60 day will give him a better starting point after he is released. 60 days also gives me enough time to research, and make his home environment as conducive to success as possible.

    When I can visit Im going to take his chihuahua... He is this big ole bald guy, with a Chi-Weenie. LOL He loves that dog, she was all he had to come home to the last time he came out of rehab.. He says she saved his life. :) Im taking care of her while he is away. I had just adopted a puppy Chi-Weenie two weeks ago... Now I have two! LOL
  6. That will be great to take the dogs... I take my 2 Boo Boo and Bella to see my dad he lives in skilled nursing.All of the resident love to see them..Pet thearpy was something we looked forward to when I was inpatient.. It sounds like you are well informed and GREAT support .. Keep in touch and let us know how you both are doing ..Take Care of yourself too .In the process sometimes the support person forgets their own needs!
  7. rsmith46

    rsmith46 Active Member

    I admire his desire and commitment to get off Methadone, zanax & booze. But trying to kick all three at the same time is very dangerous. The real withdraw won't really hit him till day 5 or 6.
    The zanax and booze are both life threatening cold turkey, I tried to quit just zanax cold turkey and my wife had to call 911 due to a grand mal seizure. I have to question a rehab clinic using high doses of codeine, then taper off that (12 hours) and go onto 1200-1800mgs of Ibuprofen? And that only uses only 12 Step and holistic whole body therapies.
    I hope I'm wrong but it sounds like they are clueless about Methadone and Zanax cold turkey withdraw. Sounds like they mostly deal with alcoholics . Cold turkey off Methadone won't kill you unless you kill yourself because you'll sure feel like it the first month. But all 3 at once can and will kill you. Do they have medical facilities and trained nurse and MD on staff 24/7 ?
    There are a lot of rehab clinics out there in it for the money and have no idea what they are doing sorry to say. What he is trying to do should only be done in a medical facility the first 30 days. That's just my opinion of course.
    What is the name of this place if you don't mind me asking?
  8. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    He is at Rock Solid Treatment. There is a trained MD and nursing staff. I misunderstood his detox med schedule. They have him on codeine, Requip (RLS), Robaxin, Phenobarbital, Lorazapam, Zofran, and electrolytes... He is still feeling nauseous, some vomiting, but its getting better. He is able to keep water, and small meals down now. His Case Manager is actually very involved. Once he stabilizes they are going to do a Suboxone course. They are doing a full 30 detox. His Case Worker is talking about keeping him for 90 days, which I agree with. He didnt quit alcohol or Xanax cold turkey, he tapered off the Xanax two weeks prior. He was still taking it when he went in but he had dropped his dose dramatically. He had been taking it for about 3 months. He had stopped drinking for a year, then right around the time we started dating (Jan 1 2014) he began drinking again. I am a bartender, I had no clue that he was an alcoholic. Over the course of the 6 months of dating, I began to recognize the problem. He finally admitted to me he was. I have left my job due to medical complications (I have Fibromyalgia). I don't plan on returning to that line of work. I don't care to drink, and he doesn't need to be around bars, etc. I was a bartender that didnt drink at work (even though it was encouraged) and if I drank outside of work it was to combat my insomnia. I stopped drinking when I left my job. I didnt drink with my BF.

    His mother is actually a very experienced Addiction Counselor, has worked at Betty Ford, and several other facilities. When my BF told her about Rock Solid, she was positive. They offer 12 Step, as well as alternative holistic recovery. He is doing light yoga when he has the energy, is looking forward to the other treatments they offer. He hasn't yet decided which route he is going to take, but I don't want to push him. His spirits are still very high, he is focused on being clean. He really doesn't want to go through this again... he says that this has been the worst ever, and its not over yet. He still has a couple weeks of this nightmare of a detox.

    I don't know if I should post it here or not.. but I am having a lot of issues... I don't have a lot of people to talk to, I don't feel comfortable talking to his mom, although I should. Im starting to have a lot of anxiety. Im OCD with other issues, and I was doing great, and then a couple days ago the anxiety hit me like a truck. My BF was able to call me tonight, and that helped... He is really laser focused on healing and never using again.

    Ugh, Im rambling... I moved 100 miles away from all my friends and family to be near him, and I have isolated from people who offer nothing but drama in my life. His mother would LOVE it if I went to some of the meetings with her, for the fellowship of it. The problem is, I have a fundamental problem with the core ideas of 12 Step. That doesn't mean that I won't be supportive if he decides on that route. I will. I am. If he chooses that recovery route, I will be his biggest cheerleader and will attend meetings as often as he needs.
  9. spring

    spring Administrator

    I had my doubts after reading your first post but after reading this last one I have a feeling he is in the right place. I hope you will continue to post regular updates. And YES you are posting in the right place! I mean, this addiction affects more than the addict so please feel free to vent if for nothing else to help keep your sanity.

    As for NA/AA 12 step meetings...most inpatient facilities use the program to, at least, help introduce the patient to the program. At this point an addict needs all the resources and help they can get! It's helpful for support (after inpatien ) especially when a person is lucky enough to find a home group that has some long clean timers in it ..kinda hard to find them in NA unlike AA.
    But still, there's nothing like being around others who have been there, not to mention the program has those 12 very thorough steps to take a person all the way through their early recovery.
    To quote one of their slogans...to make the steps work all it takes is self
    H honesty,,
    O open-mindedness, and
    W willingness

    I hope he will give it a shot.
  10. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    He has been to 12 step programs 2x before. He really despises discussing his recovery in group settings, and with other options available, just wants to check them out. He is resistant to the idea that 12 Steps are the ONLY way to go. I agree. Sure, it has helped plenty of people, his mother and sister being great examples of that.

    I do think it ironic that one of the components of the slogan you posted is "Open-Mindedness", when I see very little of that being offered when it comes to alternative methods of recovery. He and I both resonate more with the idea that chemical dependency is just that, a dependency on a chemical or substance by the brain and body. This dependency is physiological (science, chemistry, biochemistry) as well as neurological, AND emotional. It is also individual. Like most diseases, there are many treatments due to each person being different in how the disease presents through symptomolgy, how it progresses, how the patient responds to treatment and overall success of specific treatment plans.

    NOTHING will work if the patient doesn't put the work in, and dedicate to the treatment. My daughter has a terminal disease, that is incurable and will kill her. Cystic Fibrosis. She has the original mutation of the disease. She is what they call a Delta kid. (She's 20 now, kid? LOL) Over the years, her team of Drs would attempt to put her under treatment that was what most of the other Delta kids were doing. After much research and a lot of unnecessary medicating, we realized that HER successful mode of treatment IS NOT what the other kid down the hall with the same disease is successful with. No one is denying that Tobramyacin with enzymes and vibrating vests has helped a large percentage of Delta CF kids. However, my daughter has NEVER owned a vibrating vest, dropped the Tobramyacin, and has manipulated her enzymes to the point of having to ignore her Drs completely, and you know what? She is in the top 1% of all CF patients as to health, prognosis, and length of life. She went a year without her digestive enzymes, (in and of itself remarkable) but in addition has yet to have a critical bout of pneumonia... which is absolutely unheard of with children with her mutation of the disease. Yes, she is rare, and the exception to the rule. I present it as an extreme example of "one size does NOT fit all".

    If I have an infection, I go to the Dr, they do tests to find out the cause of the infection, they then prescribe an antibiotic that has been shown to cure the infection in a large percentage of other patients with the same infection. I go home, I start to take the antibiotic. I find that the antibiotic makes me throw up, not a symptom previously exhibited and not a part of the causative infection. I now have to find an alternative treatment due to the prescribed course of treatment is detrimental to my recovery of the illness.

    The national average of success of AA and similar 12 Step treatment is shockingly low. It is my opinion is that it is the failure of the treatment program to open minded to allowing other forms of recovery... the idea is, "it works if you work the program". Thats circular thinking. It doesn't work for everyone, thats a fact. It works for some. Thats also a fact. 2 rounds of treatment using the 12 Step antibiotic, and my BF is still struggling with this life threatening illness.. Its time to find a different treatment plan. The last thing ANYONE wants, is to be standing at a funeral thinking "If he just worked the program!" The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

    It will require him to be more vocal about what he wants, and not succumb to the mantra. I know for an absolute fact, when he is away from the continuous 12 step input, he begins to think outside the box, he gets excited about a future of lifelong freedom from chemical dependancy. As soon as he is put back in an environment that is not open to other ideas, he begins to recite the same thing... "I just have to work the program....." He is emotionally despondent and defeated.

    All of that being said, if he wants 12 Step Recovery, then thats what we do. I will however push for him to use alternative methods IN ADDITION to the 12 steps, because his LIFE depends on the success of WHATEVER treatment he undergoes, and it has been proven that 12 Steps alone DOES NOT work for him.
  11. freakedout

    freakedout Moderator

    Hey Cianna,

    Prepare yourself for a rocky road.... Sounds like you have a lot of yourself/self-esteem wrapped up in your boyfriend. The comment you made about a course of Suboxone after he stabilizes is a bit disturbing. Being that he was on 140mg daily of Methadone, a straight-up detox from this is a multi-month process without a long term taper. Insurance companies won't pay for this type/length of detox. Getting his tolerance down so he can switch to Suboxone will probably just result in switching from Methadone to Suboxone. Hopefully he doesn't leave treatment with a Suboxone habit. (It is even harder to taper than Methadone.) If they keep the Suboxone to 2 weeks or less, it MIGHT work out. (I was on MMT for 7.5 years and the Suboxone detox turned into 18 months on it until I took control of my own situation.)

    It is always cheaper and easier to keep someone on a "maintenance" drug like Methadone or Suboxone than it is for them to detox for real. (I think this is one of the roots of the problem.)

    We are all rooting for you and him! (It will be tough but it is doable.)

    PS--Cherish your daughter and her story is amazing. My cousin was also a Delta kid and she only made it to 16.
  12. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    I am very wrapped up in him, and I am working with my therapist on that!!! :) I am certainly very codependent. I fixate on helping everyone else, because I don't know how to take care of myself. Its something Im working on. :) I have identified as a mom and caregiver to everyone around me since I was a pre-teen, taking care of my father who was bedridden after a near fatal accident.

    The suboxone therapy is supposedly only going for 7 days. They are testing him daily, and aren't going to start the Subutex until his pee tests a certain level of Methadone, or rather lack of. I just doubled checked and I have been saying Suboxone when its actually Subutex... Im a research freak especially medical stuff, cuz of my daughter. There is a surprisingly little information out there about this subject. :( He's been on Methadone for a bit more than a year. I was leery about this facility in the beginning, now you are scaring me. They have put him on FMLA til October. I got him to switch to BS/BC PPO this year, they have approved his stay til Oct. He himself is not willing to leave rehab until he is totally off all drugs. He is willing to stay 90 days, but has already told me that if they want to try to put him on anything maintenance, he won't agree to it. He was on Suboxone prior to Methadone, he found it to be much easier to get off... I don't know, I have zero experience with all this, and trying to make sense of what they are telling me. I have very little patience when I am not directly involved with treatment plans, and get required info.

    I am in constant amazement of my daughter. She is literally the kid that has done everything opposite of what the Drs have said would happen. Her PFTs are insanely high, at one point moved more air than that of an adult male athlete.. She was 9. Because of her habit of proving Drs wrong, she is also in the habit of taking dangerous chances with her health. Now, she is fearless and thinks she is indestructible. I have a head full of grey hair worrying about her.
  13. spring

    spring Administrator

    Sounds like I hit a nerve. I wasnt suggesting that 12 step is the only way to go, but rather an added resource to help with his recovery is all. Anyway, I hope he will dive into some sort of intensive outpatient program because after 90 days, he will still have a long ways to go physically because of the substance he is detoxing from... let alone the emotional and everything else that comes at a person in early recovery.
  14. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    My response was more venting than anything... something I was assured was encouraged.

    As for your post, well, I don't see your "suggestion". In fact, you said "most" start with that, then you went on to give one of the AA Slogans. To which I noted the irony of "open-mindedness" being the central focus, and yet, the theme is "openminded-ness, as long as its AA"

    "I had my doubts after reading your first post but after reading this last one I have a feeling he is in the right place. I hope you will continue to post regular updates. And YES you are posting in the right place! I mean, this addiction affects more than the addict so please feel free to vent if for nothing else to help keep your sanity."

    Unless its long winded? I literally typed out my last post 100% no filter, brain to KB, more all of my thoughts tumbled out... so much more of a vent than anything. YES, your post hit a nerve... after already expressing that he was looking into ALTERNATIVES, and the facility offers both, I was presented with 12 step slogans... only. Again, Ill not discourage him from any type of recovery. As I have said, to him and here, whats important is that he is IN RECOVERY, and thats the goal... right? It is also important to understand that NO therapy is 100% effective for 100% of the populous. If the shoe doesn't fit, isn't the goal to find one that does?

    "As for NA/AA 12 step meetings...most inpatient facilities use the program at least to help introduce the patient to the program. At this point an addict needs all the resources and help they can get! It's helpful for support especially (after inpatient). when a person is lucky enough to find a home group that has some long clean timers in it ..kinda hard to find them in NA unlike in AA.
    But still, there's nothing like being around others who have been there not to mention the program has the 12 very thorough steps to take a person all the way through their early recovery.
    To quote one of their slogans...to make the steps work all it takes is self
    H honesty,,
    O open-mindedness, and
    W willingness

    I hope he will give it a shot."

    Soooooo, is this how a suggestion is made? LOL He has given 12 Steps a shot, in fact... he has given 12 Steps multiple shots. Twice as inpatient, and only heaven knows how many meetings etc since he started drinking/using at the age of 19. He is also currently in a facility that offers BOTH. I have said, he hasn't decided what type of treatment he is going to stick with, all he knows is he is going to get through his medical detox. After that, he has 8 options. (In no particular order) 1. Stay, go holistic/biological/physiological 2. Stay, go 12 Step 3. Stay, go with a personalized combination of both 4. Leave, follow up with holistic 5. Leave, follow up with 12 steps 6. Leave, follow up with a combo 7. Leave, go it on his own or 8. Leave, and use. Frankly, as far as I am concerned, as long as he picks one of the top 3, I will be happy as a pig in mud. If he chooses one of 4, 5, 6... I won't be happy, but, will do whatever I can to support him. Choosing 7, I will support, but from afar. And as much as it would break my heart, if he chooses 8 I can not be in his life.

    If you were "suggesting" 12 Steps as an "added resource", would you mind "suggesting" other "resources"? That is not rhetorical, its sincere. Im curious, why would you think that he WOULDNT follow up with intensive outpatient program after 90 days? Honestly, I didnt think any of my posts even hinted that he wouldn't... As far as my experience with addicts, 90 days does not a non addict make! Hell, 90 days isn't even long enough for ME to have a firm grasp on how to be the SO of an addict, and Im ONLY dealing with the emotional and psychological aspects of it. From what I have been able to gleen from my research, the physical complications can last for years due to the high dose, and length of time of using. He is already suffering physically from alcohol, bone spurs in his hips and loss of calcium body wide. Currently, he is trying to deal with the immense physical pain from that, in addition to pain of withdrawal, old injuries coming alive, on top of having emotions again. Thats just what he's told me about. I may not know first hand what he's going through, I do have a firmer grasp than I had before this process, and even better than I did two days ago.

    Is it possible to get some clarification as to the other stuff I am still really confused about? Like, his med plan... the mention of removing red meat from his diet, (incidentally, he told me that they "forced" him to attend a nutrition meeting. I guess he could have refused, but it sounds like that would have been a bad choice) Also, Im curious the kind of "pull" his case worker is going to have if he and my BF disagree with treatment plan the Dr is suggesting?

    I really do appreciate the help, and responses.
  15. freakedout

    freakedout Moderator

    Hi Cianna,

    1st off-- From what you wrote about waiting to start a 7 day Sub course I would say the treatment center going down the right path. These are two things that most treatment centers miss. You have to wait until the Methadone levels are down before starting Sub or it leads to precipitated withdrawals which are a nightmare compared to regular withdrawals. If he only stays on it for 7 days that won't be enough time to become addicted to/dependent on the Sub itself. The danger zone is that after 7 days he will still have Methadone withdrawals and may beg and plead to stay on it longer. This is bad because it usually ends up with the person just switching from Methadone to Suboxone. (I did this, learn from my mistakes!)

    On the 12 step thing, I may be the lone dissenter on their importance. All I can speak of is that I could never wrap my head around the pseudo-theology involved and found them generally distasteful. I have been off all opiates since 6/24/2006 and have never attended a meeting or had any participation in 12 step groups.

    The important thing is that your BF has connections with positive, supportive people and sometimes the 12 step groups are the only realistic place for this. Some folks find this in churches or other support groups. My thing was becoming involved/obsessed with things that kept me "outside my head" and gave me positive motivation. I became a little too obsessed with nutrition, health, and fitness in a quest to reverse a lifetime of morbid obesity. It worked -- although I do realize that I focused my addictive behavioral tendencies to something other than drugs. Good or bad, who knows -- it is working for me.

    Any nutritional "expert" that advises avoiding red meat should be promptly ignored on this subject. Actually, that type of recommendation warrants ignoring EVERYTHING they say. The opposite of their advice is probably the right way to go ;) (BTW-Red meat should be the primary source of calories and the foundation of a healthy human diet. Look into markdsdailyapple.com, The Perfect Health Diet, Deep Nutrition, and the Weston Price Foundation for real science based advise on nutrition. I went from 100+ pounds overweight to lean and fit in large part due to RED MEAT.)

    Part of the challenge with addiction and nutritional advise is separating the BS from quality. In that vein, ignore everything I write ;)
  16. Hi Cianna,
    I am so happy to see you still updating. Actually I was MIA for a few days myself .. But it sounds like you have an idea of what you need to do to recover along with him..So many people myself included dont realize they are co-dependent or care givers.Thankfully you and I have already identified those behaviors because we can't change what we are not aware of.. I am a supporter of the 12 steps . This time I am doing a workshop in AA. It takes a year to go through the first 3 steps. We are reading the big book word for word...In the past I have hated to go to meetings and thought I rather use drugs than be like some of those people..But I found a small group of people that I want what they have..long term sobriety, a sense of peace and happiness. We are doing the steps like the original 100 people in AA did in the 1930's . In fact the first and second steps were not even written by alcoholics. Dr Silkworth the MD who wrote the 1st step learned and wrote about the thearaputic value of one addict/alcoholic helping /talking to another addict/alcoholic is priceless. I feel as long as you and your boyfriend do not continue the same behaviors as before and expect them to be different you both will have a chance.. You have each other and an both have individual therapists to work with..It will be work .. But using and or drinking is work.. The difference is that today there is a huge payoff in this work..Peace, Contentment and feeling connected. I don't know about you and your boyfriend for me that is all I have ever wanted . A feeling of belonging! It is great so worth the work! Take care!
  17. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    Wanna give y'all an update on my sweetie, and I.

    He was given his phone this afternoon and is being allowed to keep it and use it whenever he wants...and I was telling him about my posting/reading here. He was happy that I was getting input from people who know EXACTLY what he's going through, and reading about people who have had short and long histories with being clean, how they did it, what they did, why they relapsed, etc. It opened up a long honest dialog about 12 Step vs non 12 Step, etc. While he wants to go with a more holistic/physiological approach, he isn't really getting a choice. Turns out Rock Solid is a 12 Step program, that just this year started offering alternative programs. Due to it being a new program for them, the staff that is versed in alternative therapies is small, and facilities are limited. His inpatient choices are now limited to 12 step after detox, or limbo. Meaning stay in the detox facility waiting for a bed. One of the guys in detox has been waiting for a bed in the alternative facility for 2 weeks. I agreed that going to the 12 step facility is MUCH preferred to waiting in limbo, or leaving right after to try and find an alternative facility. In addition, he has really been turning the issue over in his mind a lot weighing out the whys and whatnots of his past relapses. He has settled on continuing with the 12 step program during his inpatient, and then when he leaves he wants to find sober groups, people who live a sober/clean life. He's not so keen on the steps and spirituality of AA type groups, but does need to surround himself with healthy people. Pretty much his own hybrid holistic fellowship type program.

    He is REALLY missing outdoors, hunting, camping, hiking, fishing, winter sports, etc. Today while we were talking about life after his release, I suggested moving to the mountains/woods. We had never really thought about that option before, but as soon as I suggested it, he was super excited. There is a lot of bandaids, and hot cocoa in my future! LOL He is extremely athletic, but is also quite accident prone... is that possible? Has literally a DENT in his skull from cliff diving... head first. Accident prone, with 18 lives. Anyway... It was so good to hear him smiling, and very excited about his future.

    Then came the downer... In the space of 30 minutes following this conversation with him, I got 3 phone calls... During his stay, I was paying the rent on his place, keeping my place, keeping his bills paid as well as mine. 45 minutes after him hanging up, I was back on the phone with him letting him know that we had to decide whether to give up my place or his, decide which day the move has to take place, set up family therapy with him, and talk to landlords. I felt incredibly guilty about adding this amount of stress to his life at the very worst time. He panicked, for about 5 minutes. Then he just talked it out, got my panic under control, and together we put together a plan of action. No matter what, he is staying put! Im giving up my place, moving into his, and going to have to do it Sunday... by myself. He needs to stay in rehab more than I need him! He asked his sister to help me, and she "prefers" not to... She is hurt because he lied to her for a year about being on Methadone. Is it me or is that the opposite of supportive behavior? What does it matter at this point? She knows now, he's in rehab, obviously understands that she is having trust issues. As soon as he told me her response, and in my opinion made excuses for her reaction, I simply took control of the situation. Told him what I planned, and as long as he was ok with it, I would make it happen.

    He called me back to finalize my moving plans, and then he told me that they began the Subutex taper this afternoon. The plan is to have him off totally by Wednesday, total of 6 days of Subutex. I have my first family session with him on Saturday. :) I am beyond excited to see him.

    He had tri tip for lunch. :) I read to him about the diet restrictions that I posted, and he laughed. Apparently, more information that I misunderstood. His case worker was simply expressing that they keep the proteins lean. He keeps assuring me that this facility is really very good, the staff is "super cool" and apparently, "know what they are doing". I keep reminding him I am naive about all of this. I am 13 years his senior, he isn't used to me being naive about anything...

    He is VERY nervous about me staying at his place, he lives with 2 single guys. I know both of them, very nice guys, both know where my BF is and very supportive. One of the guys has to move out due to a job transfer, and the landlord decided to rent that room to a guy that doesn't speak english, and no one has met. Because of that the remaining roommate is going to move out as well, he is just fed up with the landlord. This is why I am giving up my place and taking over his. My BF is worried that his stuff will get stolen, ruined, or worse. Im renting a furnished place, and so its easier to move into his. (holy ****, I am long winded... and damn our life is complicated, LOL) But, now Im going to be in the house with a guy Ive never met, and my BF is 2 hours away. He threatened to "leave and take care of things" and I about climbed through the phone to slap him. I am a grown up woman, I can handle it. Anyone know of a big guy who needs a place to live?? LOL I could move in my own body guard.

    Ok, I think thats it... LOL I am sure y'all have questions... if you want to chance my novel answers! :)
  18. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    He did the same 2 years ago, detox'd off heroin, came out... relapsed, went on Methadone, didnt taper properly, went on Suboxone, stayed on it too long, couldn't afford it, used, went back to Methadone... but upped from 100mgs, to 120mgs. When he was talking about going back to rehab, he was stressing because he didnt think there was any facility that would take him on 120mgs of Methadone. Drank steadily his entire life, til March of 2013. Then he went dry, only to pick it up again in Dec. Been smoking pot pretty steady most of his life... literally put it down in May of this year, and never went back to it. (That confused me...) Didn't start taking Xanax til 3 months ago... never liked it he says.

    Last month he started seriously looking into Paleo diets, and other nutritional plans. He has always been "healthy", in that he has always been active and sports oriented. Dirt bikes, water/snow skiing/boarding, hiking, running, hunting, swimming, football, etc. Told me he was one of the most active heroin addicts he had ever met. Only stopped being active in sports after he messed up his knee 2 years ago. Couldnt take the time off work for surgery, so, thats something else has to deal with soon.
  19. Cianna

    Cianna Member

    He texted me this evening, that he wasn't feeling well, as they dropped his Subutex again. I responded that I hated what he was going through, that I was proud of him and admired his strength. His response was simply, "I want a better life baby". We are making plans to hunt, fish, camp, hike, and find clean/sober groups to hang out with. We are also changing the lyrics to songs... He said to me a few weeks ago, "have you ever noticed how much drinking is in country music?" We both love country music... So, now, we "sit right down and drink some tea" ... ;)
  20. That's is funny about country music .. There is a lot of drinking and tears but I love it too. Sounds like you are going to be busy.. He is very blessed to have you. I do understand the sisters view. I am not saying it is right or wrong I went through with my kids when I lied about being on methadone. Now that I can see what a horrible drug it was for me in the last few years of being on it I understand . She is probably hurt and afraid .. That was what it was with my kids..basically afraid for my life . I had become so depressed and isolative they didn't know what to do or think.. It was just easier and more protective of themselves to get mad rather than feel the fear.. Everything is getting better day by day with my family as I am sure it will with his.. In AA we say attraction rather than promotion.. She will come around once she sees he is serious this time..and committed to his own recovery..I just got home from work . I am going to bed because I have to go back at 1900.. Take care!

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