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Everybody Give an Update:

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Pain Meds' started by FoolishHeart, Apr 28, 2016.

  1. spring

    spring Administrator

    Actually, I think it was the constant 'drama' that kept people coming back. Maybe the word 'drama' isn't the right word, I think 'passion' is more fitting.

    When I say drama I am talking about those who were strong in recovery trying to share with newcomers HOW IT REALLY IS in no uncertain terms. And then of course some newcomers are going to reject those strong opinions because they always knew how to do it better even though they hadn't had any success at doing it their way, and then the recovering person would counter with even more of their experience and knowledge sometimes quoting the 12 steps which would cause the naysayers to pop in to say NA is not the way for everybody which would cause yet another group of people to log in to say that 'yes' it does work for anybody who will actually work the program and on and on.
    That passion kept this board hopping. And to keep the passion alive we need those who are strong in recovery here to be able to pass it forward.

    I totally understand glassbottom's feelings about wanting to move on and I think it's that way for a lot of people. And maybe those successful recovering people finally get burned out from saying the same things over and over again to someone who is all too often here for a day or two never to return again.
    Or those new ones who gain strength from being here for awhile then just up and disappear. It's discouraging..

    But someone has to be here for the newcomers popping in daily who are at square one needing to hear what we have been saying over and over again thru the years. Someone has to be here to catch them when they are ready if for nothing else to plant the seed even if they aren't ready for it. Once the seed is planted they will have something to draw on once they are ready. We want those anonymous 'guests' to be so drawn in by the people they see posting here that they will register and post themselves.

    We need the experiences of all types who have been successful. We need all the varied personalities that used to frequent this board. For a long time now it has been only me and a few others who have been posting when it actually takes a village to keep this board afloat.

    I'm so hoping that this current influx of long-timers is a sign of things to come. Maybe there is hope yet for ODR...
    If we all have to keep talking to each other at first to liven up this place then maybe those who are in need of help will see that this is the place to get it.
  2. spring

    spring Administrator

    PS; I think most of you know about the mass banning that took place in '09. The passion I spoke of had turned vicious. There was a lot of name calling and back stabbing going on which began to take up too much time to deal with leaving the newcomers out in the cold. And unfortunately it had begun to to get out of hand to the point where the newcomer would get pounced on by recovering members. It went from compassion and empathy almost to a dicatorship. "Either do it my way or don't post here" and "If you don't 'get it' then go somewhere else'. And then those in recovery pounced on each other. It was all too much even to the point where the owner of the board stepped in to give advice which he hardly ever does.
    I have since unbanned every single one of those who were banned back then. Not every one of those banned were in the wrong but I had to do it in a diplomatic way. To this day I'm not sure I did it in the right way. I wonder if that was the beginning of our downfall yet we still went strong for another 2 or 3 years after that so I don't think so.
    Bottom line is we have a great resource here to make it into whatever we want it to be and since the newcomer is the most important person here, without someone for them to talk to makes this place useless.
    Chasin' it likes this.
  3. sam bailey

    sam bailey Well-Known Member

    Hey Spring!

    Please, don't blame yourself for any of the administration 'stuff. As far as doing anything wrong, I mean. What a job! Plus, I DO recall that time (was it really 09? Wow!) when the entire board went mad! Goodness knows I went off the rails a time or two. More?? Oh man! HaHa!!

    Anyway. Something needed to be done.....and you did something. It takes gumption, Spring, to do anything sometime, especially when there's plenty of other folks, hardheads we sometimes were, telling you how to do it perfectly. So give yourself some earned credit.

    Btw, yes: I think "passion" is the right word. Yes mam, that's it.

    As I mentioned in a previous post, I remember when ODR was definitely the best game in town. And popular. And jumpin'. Even on weekends. No question that ODR served a wonderful purpose in my own life. I just can't believe that I first registered over 10 years ago!

    Ok, Spring. Keep the faith, as we old hippies (aging hippies??) used to say.

    Aumua? No sir, not interested in a fight. Thanks anyway. Congratulations on all those years! It is the best of times, isn't it??

    regards all,

    sam b
  4. freakedout

    freakedout Moderator

    The subject of forum slow downs is being discussed in another forum I participate in. (Nutrition & Health related.) Some interesting perspectives. People over there also mention the lack of drama. The big one that clicked with me is a discussion towards a general shift to more modern social outlets like FB, Twitter, Reddit, etc which seem to be booming with activity. Can't get my head around Reddit, but anyways... The other thing that seems to make a big difference is mobile device accessibility. A forum either needs a mobile web interface, its own app for viewing the forum, or is accessible via Tapatalk.

    Technology keeps chugging forward and the younger folks seem to latch on to the new stuff and don't pay much attention to the old. Unfortunately, modernizing ODR would be a pretty big deal. I don't think we even hit the under 30 age range's radar nowadays.

    I thank Doc for paying for this site for all the years he has and hopefully it will stay around as it is like a comfortable old house with some history behind it.

    Of course we could always track down SummerLuvin and invite her back for some entertainment ;)
  5. AumuA

    AumuA Well-Known Member

    I agree with Freakedout's assessment re: the changing technology, which just underscores for me that FB is evil, man. And smart phones.

    I think I showed up right after all that happened Spring, so maybe I missed the worst of that .. perennial conflict. I agree with Sam that moderation is a vital part of any healthy forum, and sometimes moderators have to make bans or even, (God forbid) censorship to keep discussions from spiraling into mudslinging or whatever. I've thought sometimes maybe we should have a 'warzone', something hidden from unregistered viewers. But.. quite honestly I don't think it serves much of a purpose over at ss anymore, if it ever did. Kudos to the moderators, who do the best they can with sometimes difficult choices. I'm not kissing your butts or anything, I'm just sayin.

    The best thing that we can do is learn from our mistakes. I surely do hope to learn from mine. On the topic of harm reduction, as long as I've been here I've felt there's been somewhat of a clear line drawn, and there needs to be one. I don't mind discussing say Iboga, or the miracle of Citric Acid, but you know people come around saying that methadone or suboxone maintenance is harm reduction and it saved their lives and all that, and this ain't the place to sing the praises of those things. Same thing if someone wants advice on the best way to shoot up, that's harm reduction too, but if it becomes clear that that is all they are about, after discussing with them for a bit, I will suggest that they find that information somewhere else. Is that wrong?
  6. spring

    spring Administrator

    First of all...Whew! Thank you for relieving me of the guilt that I've been carrying these past few years. I really did believe that I was the sole reason for our dying board. But now that I've read the input, I can see the other reasons why this may be happening.
    I hadn't even thought of facebook, etc being a cause but it makes perfect sense. I'm still sort of tech challenged, my then 14 yr old daughter had to teach me how to turn on a computer, use email, etc back in 2000 and I have no desire for a smart phone. I am content with my little fliptop cell phone.
    I thought that a person can access the internet from their smart phone. Why would they need an "app" for this board? I don't understand.

    As far as war rooms; we used to have a hidden forum for core group members to discuss the everyday health (or lack of) of the board, to deal with problem members, trolls, dealing with ultra personal issues, etc but haven't had any such need for a long long time. I was personally grateful for the SS war room since much of the 'war' was concerning me. Lots and lots of slander and untruths were posted and I was glad it wasn't publicly posted.
    I'm open for a hidden forum if the need ever arises. In fact, I'm wide open for any and all suggestions for the sake of this board.

    Harm reduction; We had a hard time agreeing on where to define that line of harm reduction, but I agree that in the end it's a good one. We wanted to keep the channels open but not to the point where people were getting advice on how to use successfully.
    And of course there were the MMTers and BMTers who were convinced that they had solved their problem and wanted to spread the 'good' news. What I did want to keep an open mind to was the many different ways available for detox such as Ibo,etc

    I'm thrilled that this thread is remaining active and am hoping others will join in on the discussion. So bottom line...HOW do we get more of the millenials and more of the x,y,and z(?) generations to re-join we, who seem to be, mostly babyboomers here on ODR?
  7. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Hey guys! I'm one of those with a smart phone and do most everything from it mainly because it's easier for me to view in private browser mode and I always have my phone on me. That did create a problem when the board changed over. I couldn't log on and it took me forever to figure out why. The search feature seems to be still difficult for me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm using my phone or not. I seem to miss a lot of new post when logged in? I will see new post and then log in and have to search the forum titles individually to find it. I hated giving up my flip phone, but love all the features on my phone.
  8. spring

    spring Administrator

    I don't think it's your phone, the search feature pretty much sucks. At times I can get 'some' results but mostly it's just frustrating when I'm looking for something in particular and I get 0 results.
  9. spring

    spring Administrator

    BTW...How are you missing new posts? do you click on 'new posts' at the top when you log in? Explain please.
  10. peacenik

    peacenik Administrator

    I agree with a lot of what has been said especially by Aumua, and freakedouts comments about more people on facebook :) And yeah drama from Summerlove and that crowd, the "harm reduction" gang, sure had things hopping. But it was not a good thing. There was more a free flow of ideas here, sure, but one of the ideas held by the harm reduction crowd was that those of us in abstenent recovery were "murderers" for suggesting that addicts could get clean because some of them don't make it.

    Well lots of us did make it and I love the fact that ODR took a stand for living and enjoying life without drugs. Sometimes you gotta stand for something :)

    I remember years ago before there were many message boards on the world wide web, we had email lists and I was on one having to do with music and it was the most exciting thing each day. There would be dozens of new emails from people all over the world - all people who shared the love of folk music. And I remember that the email list that was so strong faded over time and eventually died.

    I do think that people who kick drugs hold on very tightly to the things that work for them, ODR was so important that people came every day to post. But eventually, you move on from early recovery. I went to meetings every day for almost two years when I got clean but eventually stopped. I had moved on, had gotten married and had a real life to live :) It was after my kids were older I came to ODR.

  11. Chasin' it

    Chasin' it Well-Known Member

    Top of the day
    Anyone have a cool inspirational success story or stories? Maybe stuff that has happened that would have been impossible while active? Mellon had some cool stuff ready work and promotions as well as the running. Just curious. It's really amazing to know how say Parachute or Amua or Rain started here and now see that since getting clean and being able to think clear and be motivated are accomplishing fantastic things. Just thought maybe someone stumbling by can see how life can be and that it's more than possible. Real people who were worse off than themselves are now doing great. Good thread though, hope some more vets will chime in soon. Have a great day.
  12. spring

    spring Administrator

    Well, lets see...There was a time when my own family wouldn't allow me in their homes anymore because I had relieved my mother of a few blank checks from her book, helped myself to a $20 bill or two from my sister's top drawer, etc. to name just a fraction of how I got a hold of money.
    Ya know...
    when all that stands between getting well or going into withdrawal is a $20 bill, the addict wins every time. I always had the intention of putting it back but there was never any extra money to do so. You know what they say about good intentions...
    Present day...all that I had done to them has been forgiven and long ago paid $$ back. I not only am welcome in my family's homes, but I have been working for many wealthy people in their homes for quite a few years now. I have managed to pay off every past debt I ever had, raise my credit score from negative -100 (embellishing) up to low 700s. I actually have a bank account and haven't had any deliquent bills in years. I went from an old beater to a pretty nice car. None of this would be possible in my using days.

    All of that list above are material gains, besides that I attend church every Sunday that I'm not working. I attend 2 weekly Bible studies and don't miss any! That in itself is a great feat. I used to be such a procrastinator and unorganized to the point where I couldn't finish any project I started. There is so much more positive that I could list, but I can't think of anything at the moment and have to get moving if I'm going to make it to church today.
    None of this is changing humanity or earth shattering news, but for me, it is a miracle to see how far I've come from the old me and more still....to still be alive after all that I've done to my body.
    Chasin' it likes this.
  13. spring

    spring Administrator

    Guess I'm not making it to church today....so on to my next question...Are there recovery boards on Facebook?! Really? Or am I reading this wrong?
    If there are then how do people maintain their anonominity (sp)? I'm open for expanding onto Facebook even tho I dislike the place.
    Someone give their input, comments. suggestions please?
  14. Chasin' it

    Chasin' it Well-Known Member

    Spring, that's fantastic and exactly what I meant. I love it, integrity and the trust from those you care about most sounds like the best. Couldn't agree more.
  15. hopespringseternal

    hopespringseternal Well-Known Member

    Maybe I shouldn't chime in here because I haven't made it yet and can only hope I will. If you've read my thread (which I updated today) you'll know my issues. I will find out what I'm capable of starting tomorrow. So in many ways I don't really fit with almost anyone on this board but it's still the best I could find. Lol, what I need doesn't exist.

    I wasn't around the time before the upgrades, but I don't have a problem getting on this site as a rule. I will say that Spring is right that people who don't get a response move on. And yes, I understand why it gets hard to keep giving when so many fail. I guess I am stubborn and was just persistent enough to finally get responded to. Even I would have quit, though, eventually.

    I also think the search feature doesn't just suck, it is basically nonexistent. I had to read through 60 + pages to find one thread I'd been looking for. There are still others, who have supported me with comments, whose threads that I'd like to find but can't. I've asked a few mods and they didn't know how either. Other boards I have searched seem to have a few problems as well -- but, then, I'm not signed up for any of them and that may make a difference.

    I think both Sam Bailey AND AmuA are right. From just reading so many of the threads of the past I could see a lot of judgement being passed. On the other hand, if you're going to ask for advice you had better be prepared to hear some of what you don't want to hear and not be too thin skinned about it! You don't have to agree with everything anyone says. I just know I learned a lot from a lot of people even if it didn't all fit my personal situation. I know NA would probably not be a good fit for me long term for many reasons, but I would try it if I could for the support given. I have none, basically, which is the price you pay for living in an isolated two horse town. But in the end, it's really up to me to do what I need to do anyway.

    Basically I don't think any should feel blame for the downturn of the board. A lot of you have gone through your recovery together, supported each other at the time, and as Dave said, moved on to live your lives in recovery. Ideally, there would be others in my position joining when I did who would be going through the same thing. I just happened to be unlucky enough to start looking at the time when that wasn't happening. I have said on my thread that I was grateful for those who reached out to me. No matter what happens, that will always remain true.
  16. sailormom

    sailormom Well-Known Member

    I still check in once in awhile, 28 months now since I buried my son.
    I think a lot of people can't get off facebook long enough to search for forums anymore. There are lots of groups on facebook though. I know I am a member of The Addicts mom which is good for a mother of an addict. But maybe a lot of people just read on here and don't post. LOL.. But there is so much useful information here for all.
  17. fenderman

    fenderman Well-Known Member

    What is going on everybody??!! :) Okay, I am closing in on 9 years drug free----December 26 2007 is the day I checked myself into a rehab....haven't looked back...Keep the faith...and remember---just because the monkey is off your back, doesn't mean the circus has left town....keep the boxing gloves on.....all the best!!
    Fox face likes this.
  18. Glass

    Glass Member

    Glassbottom here....First time on here in quite a while and I figured I'd say hello for old times sake. I've been sober for almost 10 years now. I still do weekly AA. My life is full with the gifts of sobriety.. Truthfully, my journey to sobriety really did start here. I think there was a "golden era" on this site about 10-12 years ago. Going all the way back to that original crew of people like Ratch, Spring, Bup4pain and Arlene. I came in on the tail end of that wave and was super active on here for for about 2-3 years. If I recall there was a server crash at some point and good deal of the posts got wiped out? Anyway, I still have friends from this site and I've even met a few of them in person. I really needed this outlet when I was in the contemplation stage of quitting. It was a tremendous help and eventually led me to do the real work of recovery. I'm sure I also made a few enemies on this site. Like most addicts in early recovery I could be difficult, strident and defensive. There was ALOT of drama on here for a while both on and off the board...and in retrospect, it was a lot of fun.

    As far as this site not thriving, I think its almost entirely due to social media and newer technology. Don't take this the wrong way but this site looks very dead and uninviting when you arrive. I think facebook groups have really displaced most message boards at this point and so I'm not sure thats going to change. However Spring, think of it this way....all of those people like myself who have gone off and gotten sober because of this board have in turn helped many others, so this whole project has been well worth the effort and perhaps while it's slowed down, even if it helps keep a few people off MMT or Sub Maintenance each year, that alone could be enough to keep it running.

    Lastly, just a call out to any of the oldtimers still around. Pop your head in here and say hello goddammit.
  19. fenderman

    fenderman Well-Known Member

    What is up my friend...this board saved my life as well...the administrators such as Spring was a Godsend, and so was a lady named Arlenewa....thank you Spring....it will be 9 years tomorrow.....all is good!
    Fox face likes this.
  20. peacenik

    peacenik Administrator

    Hi fenderman! Happy new year and congrats on your continued recovery. Its been rough here as the board wasn't working right but I think, hope, it may be fixed :)

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