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HAVE to quit heroin but HAVE to work still

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by thatcudikid, Jul 22, 2015.

  1. thatcudikid

    thatcudikid New Member

    hi, I am brand new to this page and I am looking for help. right now is 24 hours sober from iv'ing heroin. I have been taking strong pain meds (perc 10's, dilaudids..) since I was 16 and I just turned 20. I have been doing heroin for 6-7 months and only iv'ing for 1-2 months.

    I have had somewhat successful detoxes from percs and dilaudids in my early addiction, but I have been very so much unsuccessful in all recent attempts. well it's time I say enough is enough and I no longer want to be a slave to this drug any more. (easier said than done)

    I'm concerned with the fact that I still have to go to work everyday. I actually have to be to work soon. and a lot of times my job just entails me sitting in an office alone but sometimes it involves some pretty physical labor.
    my other concern is that I will relapse this Friday when I get paid. I'm afraid that the only reason I'm trying to get clean is because I'm broke until Friday. and it's going to be so hard not to buy a hefty bag of dope when I have that extra cash...

    I honestly don't know why I'm posting here. I guess I just wanted to be around other people who have been in my shoes and made it. I have no one around me other than my mom that knows of my addiction (well the extent of my addiction) my girlfriend thinks I'm trying to get off of pills because I cannot tell her about the heroin. and I have one buddy of mine who thinks I'm getting off of snorting heroin. but no one really who has been in these shoes and faced this evil themselves.

    I will share my plans to detox successfully. I have probably 1-2 mg of subutex that I plan to take when things become unbearable. I have Imodium to help with some of the withdrawal symptoms. I will be taking 5-6 Imodium every 5-6 hours. and I also have a day and a half worth of Kratom capsules that rid nearly all of my symptoms (sometimes) and to help me at night time when I'm not working I have valerian root/passionflower extract pills to help me sleep along with icy hot to try to help when the legs start getting excruciatingly restless at night. there are many other things I wish I could get to help but due to being broke, I cannot.

    I really want to quit this time. And I want to have the life that I used to have and be able to wake up happy already, without the help of this drug. so I'm making this just so maybe I'll have someone to help me a little bit or someone I can talk to when things get rough. I know it's only going to get worse from here. Thank You in advance.
  2. StuckonSubs

    StuckonSubs Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about going to some Narcotics Anonymous meetings? You could meet some people who have been through exactly what you are facing and have successfully done it. You could ask someone there to sponsor you (although you don't have to do this right away). If you don't like the first meeting you go to, try a different place and/or time. Every meeting is different. Finding one where you click with someone there could be extremely helpful. It would give you someone who you could call 24 hours a day 7 days a week to talk you through cravings or whatever else is happening.

    How badly do you truly want to quit? Because it's going to take a whole lot of will power and desire to get clean. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes.
    Why not talk to your girlfriend or parents today and tell them you want them to control your weekly pay checks for now, so you don't have access to your money to buy pills (heroin).
    Delete those dealers phone numbers too and change your phone number. Stay away from the people, places and things that make you want to use (as much as possible anyway).
    Set up a plan that you can try to follow if and when you get a bad craving to use. Go to some NA meetings and start working the 12 steps.

    Between the the subutex and Imodium, that might be enough to keep the worst symptoms at bay... But remember, any opiate type substance you take is more than likely going to extend the length of the withdrawal. As horrible as heroin withdrawal is, the worst is usually over in roughly 3 to 5 days. A small price to pay to get your life back. Would it really be the end of the world if you had to take a few days (or a long weekend) off work? You will be having lots of flu like symptoms. Just say you got the flu real bad.
    Theres always your local county hospital too. They will usually take patients in opiate withdrawal. My local hospital has a detox unit. You just have to come in while in withdrawal. They give you a few small doses of suboxone, some other comfort meds (like clonidine/catapres patch) and fluids.
    You have to do whatever is necessary to get (and stay) clean. Whether you believe it or not, this is a life and death situation. Heroin Will kill you and if it doesn't, hepatitis or some other disease probably will. Not to mention what it does to your veins and body. Have you had an abscess yet? Only a matter of time till you get one and have to go to the hospital and have surgery to have it removed before it kills you (and they know what caused it...). What about cotton fever? Had that yet? All it takes is one dirty bag or the wrong pice of cotton or just unknowingly sucking up a tiny little piece of cotton strand into the needle. I could go on and on about the risks.

    If if all else fails, there is always the Suboxone program (suboxone maintenence). You would still be taking an opiate every day. But taking suboxone every day is without a doubt better than doing heroin or pills! and if you are unable to stay clean on your own, the suboxone might help (if you let it help you). Prett much all suboxone doctors make you take drug tests and most want (or make) you (to) attend some type of counseling or meetings.

    good luck and I hope you keep coming back here and posting. I'd love to be updated on your situation. Even if you don't get clean there is no shame in posting that. We don't judge here. We have all been where you are now.
    Also, I have seen heroin claim the lives of many good people around me. None of them ever planned on overdosing and dying I promise you that. An overdose happens so fast that there is nothing you can do. The only way you are saved is if someone is lucky enough to find you in time and the ambulance gets there before you go brain dead from lack of oxygen. With all this heroin laced fentanyl going around, it's more dangerous to get high than ever. We just had 14 overdoses in a 12 hour period in my city from one batch of laced heroin. 10 of those overdoses happened within 6 hours. Scary, scary stuff.
    RobertoUK likes this.
  3. spring

    spring Administrator

    First of all, I applaud your honesty. Stay that way.
    You just got some excellent advice. He said everything I was going to say but I'll add...

    If you're afraid that you are going to use once you get your paycheck well...I hate to say it but you probably will...unless you have someone in your life who is made aware of your attempt to get clean and is willing to prevent you from acting on those impulses that WILL HIT YOU in the beginning.

    Quitting this stuff cant be done by will power alone. I "wanted" to be clean for a long long time before it actually happened. Wanting it and being willing to do whatever it takes to get there are two very different things. It's simple (just dont use) but it's hard as hell at first.

    In the beginning, you have to keep yourself physically away from the drug until enough time has passed and you get the obsessions, compulsions, and cravings behind you. After awhile the thought of using is merely a thought, but at first those cravings hit hard.
    You have to be willing to do whatever you have to do. Let your mom or somebody close to you know what you are doing and make sure they get a hold of your money before you do. You must have a watchdog.
    That cunning beast will cause you to try to manipulate your watchdog into giving you some money or you may start scheming a way to get your hands on some dope without them knowing about it. This is the part where it's totally up to you because if you want to use, you will use unless you have planned ahead for this.

    Finding an NA or even an AA group is a great idea. They all know what you're dealing with and can help you with some pointers much like what you'll get here except it's in 3D life where you can actually interact with others who are able to help you through this.

    I hope you will stick around whether you are clean or not. Just having the desire to get clean is a start.
  4. spring

    spring Administrator

    Oh and I want to add that the fear of withdrawal is ALWAYS worse than the actual withdrawal. That fear is what keeps us on the merry-go-round for so long.
    Chasin' it likes this.
  5. StuckonSubs

    StuckonSubs Well-Known Member

    Absolutely agree 110% spring!! That damn fear is the worst. Kept me stuck for what felt like FOREVER. That fear made me chicken out at the last second many times. Even this last time, when I finally got clean for good, the fear almost won. For the first 3 days of going cold turkey I had to talk myself out of backing out many many times. That little thought in the back of my head saying "I can't do this, there's no way I can do this" started turning into "wow, I'm actually doing this" and "this really isn't even all that bad, THIS is what I was afraid of for so long?".
    I mean it was definitely no fun and I'd never want to do it again. But it wasn't nearly as bad as I had built it up to be.
    Chasin' it likes this.
  6. RobertoUK

    RobertoUK New Member

    6 years on from the first time i visited this forum (sayin: "Heroin for several months but need help") and still fighting this disease we call Heroin addiction. I'm not being uber-critical here, and appreciate administrators may disregard what I say, but there's lots of folk around here saying take this, take that, this helps etc etc. Until I realised that I CANNOT use a differing substance to weaken the pain the detox brigns, I was P**sing up the wall trying!! All I CAN say is that get to 5 days w/d. You DO feel better. NO, you aint gonna sleep right for weeks. NO, you aint gonna eat right for weeks. But I'm BACK here coz I've spent years convincing myself try this/that/the other!!! Even 4 months in prison, felt the best I felt for years - super fit - super healthy. 48 hours out???? 40 quid on brandy (UK slang for heroin). Sorry my friend but-tell work you got flu. Ride it out. EAT ! Try EAT! Good luck!
  7. spring

    spring Administrator

    Im not sure what you've been reading but we dont push the use of other drugs in order to detox. Most of us believe that substitution is not "clean". Yes, we have several posts on comfort meds but they arent opiates.
    You're right, using a different type of opiate to detox is merely substituting one drug for another.
    Welcome back
  8. spring

    spring Administrator

    By the way, the poster who started this thread was here way back in July and never returned. I fear it didnt work out for him/her.
  9. RobertoUK

    RobertoUK New Member

    Hi. thx for the welcome. NO way intended as criticism Spring...Just suppose my own failures trying to help by saying for "me" I could jus not use a thing .... Was referring to comforters (that a word??).
    This forum is hugely valuable!!!
  10. RobertoUK

    RobertoUK New Member

    yup...jus realised that. rusty! eyes dont work like they use to (should do). Be safe.

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