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I lost my bestfriend

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by iLostMyBestfriend, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. iLostMyBestfriend

    iLostMyBestfriend New Member

    I keep telling myself it's only temporary. Yesterday, I sent the love of my life, and my best friend to rehab. In Florida. While I'm in Texas. I'm a mother of two kids. He's a father. He's a boyfriend. He's a beautiful soul. But this disease, this horrendous, soul-consuming disease, took him from us. Took his mind, body, and soul from us. His family. He will be detoxing in a 10 day blackout detox. 10 days, no contact. 10 days, I'm not allowed to tell him I love you. 10 days, he won't be able to talk to his son. 10 days. He wont get out till April. He won't be here with us till April. I need help. How when he is back, do I transition him back to my home. With our son and our daughter. I'm lost. I can't lose him. I can't lose my bestfriend again. I watched him slowly destroy himself. I watched him sell everything in my house. I was hopeless. I did the only thing I knew and sent him as far away from my town as possible. Someone please help.
     
  2. spring

    spring Administrator

    You did the right thing by letting him go.. It might seem like forever now but when you really think about it...a couple months is nothing compared to a lifetime.

    You dont say how long you've known him. If you knew him before his addict days or not so you have something to compare.
    It's all in his hands now whether he succeeds or fails at his recovery. You dont say if this is his first time in treatment or not but either way, he will learn about the tools he will need to fight this thing. Again, it's up to him whether he will choose to use them or not. There's nothing you can do or not do to keep him from using again. It's all up to him. He will need to give up his using friends, change the routines and places he was used to during his using time. he's going to have to make a lot of changes. I think you will know if he's serious or not by what he does in the first weeks back home.

    I'm not sure what you mean by "How do I transition him back to my home?" You may want to keep an ultimatum over his head in his early recovery by letting him know that it will not be okay for him to use again once he is clean. Keep in mind that he sold everything in your house. It will only gets worse if he goes back to using again.
    Are you able to locate an Alanon or another equivilent 12 step program for spouses and loved ones of addicts? A self help group will surround you with people who are or have been where you're at, where you will learn what to do for yourself, how to spot an impending relapse, etc. If nothing else learn what you can online because the battle is just now beginning. He is getting the physical part out of the way but there is much more to this than just the physical detox. Looks like he will have some clean time under his belt since he's there until April. The more time the better. It can only make him stronger.
     

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