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Keeping On Track

Discussion in '~ Articles ~ Info ~ Links ~ Data ~' started by Cosmic Messenger, Sep 8, 2007.

  1. Cosmic Messenger

    Cosmic Messenger New Member

    I had been off of hydrocodone for 18 days and I relapsed today.

    I am so ashamed, after everything I've learned, I have ruined 18 days of recovery.

    Any advice? Please try not to be hateful or hurtful, I am sincere.
     
  2. Random Addict

    Random Addict Well-Known Member

    Are you back on track? Don't let a slip become a fall.

    <center>The entire universe resides within you.</center>
     
  3. Cosmic Messenger

    Cosmic Messenger New Member

    I am back on track... Thanks for replying... I was afraid it would be all downhill from there, but I got back on track the next day... I was just so disappointed that I did it. I actually opened my mouth to take them about 6 times before I actually swallowed them... I just now got back from a meeting and I am feeling much better. I isolated over the weekend... big mistake for me.
     
  4. toto

    toto Well-Known Member

    Good job Cosmic. Proud of ya! Don't isolate. Keep posting..Tasha
     
  5. Mic

    Mic Guest

    Hi Cosmic-

    Wow, terrific job stepping up and taking responsibility! When you say "I was just so disappointed that I did it." Well, the reason you took them is cuz you are an addict, and that's what addicts do.

    Didn't the relapse start several days ago though? I don't believe in slips, cuz that's NOT the way relapse happens. One is given many clues that trouble's coming, and one has many opportunities to abort before getting high. You lose your serenity, you lose your sanity, and then you lose your sobriety.

    You have a real opportunity here to create a positive from a negative; "what do I need to do differently this time to avoid relapse?" For example, why did you have access to pills? Why were you compelled to isolate over the weekend? Somewhere, perhaps buried, is the fact that whatever it was, it involved FEAR?

    Stay connected here, dismiss thoughts of using immediately, counter every negative thought with a compensating positive thought, and keep writing/ journaling...maybe you can make this YOUR thread, simply change the name at some point to reflect the progress you've made...

    Anyhow, the fact that you stepped up,faced this, and shared it...tells me that you have what it takes to get clean...(and identify HOW to stay clean)

    Mic

    </center><center>IT TAKES WHAT IT TAKES
     
  6. Cosmic Messenger

    Cosmic Messenger New Member

    You know, I guess that relapse did start days in advance. While cleaning up my bedroom I found a pill bottle with some Lortabs in it. I should've thrown them out... but I really thought I could put them up for an emergency (I get severe vascular headaches). I've had a lot fear over not having anything to take for those headaches should I get one, of course, hydrocodone is the only thing I ever used that able to kill the headache before I wanted to kill myself because the pain was so bad.

    I am new to this recovery... my first time ever in rehab was Aug 20th. My family convinced me I needed to go. I kinda knew since a year earlier, but I was trying to get control of the problem myself. Even though I had completely bankrupted my finances, I didn't know how big the problem was until after 3 days in rehab. It was then I knew, I had made the right choice to go in, it was something I was never going to be able to do all by myself. My way of thinking beforehand was, "If my doctor would prescribe the amount I need, no one would say sh!t to me... My problem isn't the pills, it's just that I don't have enough money to keep buying my supplement pills off the street". And I believed every word of that.
     
  7. Cosmic Messenger

    Cosmic Messenger New Member

    By the way... thank you, everyone... I appreciate your warmth and support.
     

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