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Life after detox

Discussion in 'Freedom from Hell ~ Staying Clean~' started by kdgtlg, Jul 18, 2012.

  1. kdgtlg

    kdgtlg Well-Known Member

    I've read through quite a few threads that are ao much like the ones I used to write. Fear of every aspect of the process of getting clean. Detox and withdrawal SUCK - there's just no other way to say it. I spent 3 years in active addiction just to avoid being dopesick. Three years of lying to everyone I loved, humiliating myself at every opportunity to score a script, three years chained to a pill bottle. I finally got through the horror of detox and withdrawal, spent weeks and weeks fighting anxiety, depression, apathy, etc. and it was not fun, but I kept my resolve to never pick up again. My life has changed in ways I never thought it would.

    I have been clean for 16 months (small bump in the road in April when I had surgery but handled the meds while still in what I consider recovery). I remember thinking how I would give anything to live "like normal people" and now I do. I discovered that life without drugs is real life. My moods and emotions fluctuate as the situations in life come at me - that took some getting used to because I was used to controlling my moods with pills - extra pills if needed. I now get up in the morning and start my day - I don't have to wait for my pills to kick in to feel like getting out of bed. I am training for a half marathon - are you freaking kidding me?!?! That is life now without drugs.

    Please know that I say all of this not to toot my own horn,but to let you know that your struggles to get clean are worth all the work you put in. Life hits hard sometimes, but don't give up - don't ever give up, as Jimmy V said. You deserve the life you want and you can have it - you have to fight for it, but it's waiting for you.

    All the best to all,

  2. guinevere64

    guinevere64 Well-Known Member

    I could never imagine this before I got sober. Getting out of bed without waiting for pills/drugs to kick in? impossible. Now it's possible.

    Awesome, T. Been working out seriously for 18 months and it has changed my life drastically. I've learned to treat exercise the way I used to think of medicine. It's necessary. It's in the script.

    I've also learned to accept my body. I have a big upper body and exercise makes me feel strong.


    love /G
  3. kdgtlg

    kdgtlg Well-Known Member

    Acceptance is the key to so many things, isn't it?
  4. Firsttimedetox

    Firsttimedetox Well-Known Member

    Really glad to hear you are clean Kdgtlg .. 16 months is awesome ..

    I am celebrating 2 years in about 3 weeks. I go to 3 NA meetings a week and what I have learned is simple.. When a new person comes in the room, with that scared, twitchy look, freshly clean and miserable.. It will be harder for them to stay off dope for 24 hours than it will be for me to stay clean a month ..

    Life gets so much better.. the rewards are amazing.. Going to meetings and seeing a newcomer reminds me and makes me grateful for the week I just finished..

    The biggest battle for me was my mind. I have had to do so much darn work around keeping myself stable .. I am shocked I did it, and shocked I keep doing it .. Recovery may be the first thing I started in life and didn't quit right away .. About 1 of 10 of my thoughts are intentional.. The other 9 just kinda happen.. They range from reasonable to criminally insane. Coming to terms with the idea that me thinking something does not mean its true, and does not mean I HAVE to act on it has been a battle worth fighting ..

    Kdgtlg .. I have a lot of respect for you because I am sure that making it to where you are today has been the battle of your life.. May the next 16 months be everything you need and certainly much better than the last.. lol
  5. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Well, I have been clean now for three yrs, mornings are my favorite time now. I wake up, my dog at foot of bed still sleeping. I pet him, love on him then go get coffee on. I actually do any left over dishes in sink while coffee brewing. I am in a great mood as soon as eyes open.

    G, jealous, I now have to step up to the plate and get my body in better shape. I am taking this week off, been so busy with work and have used that as an excuse long enough. I am joining gym this week. So cheap now with ecomomy I can't use that as excuse any more. So I am way behind G but seeing that pic of your arm pissed me off at myself for not taken steps to date. This is d-day for me now. Like everything else in my life I need to be accountable to someone. So now I am to you guys. I am going to get this started this week while I have a week off to get it started.

    Life is great clean, how shocking, eh. Mornings being my fav is unbelievable, I fall asleep at night without dope, don't wake up in sweats having to bang more dope to get thru the night. Don't hide my arms though should with the way they look due to lack of excerize, no bruising or needle lumps to hide. No marks at all.

    So now gonna work at making my body something someone will wish they were me as I wished my arms look like yours. Here I have I think one day more clean time then you but G, your so far ahead of mr Heath wise. It put fire to my butt though.

  6. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    half-marathon... I love it! There are some good ones coming up. I'm doing the Long Beach one this October. Exercise could be the greatest thing to happen to recover in the whole world. Nice resolve, congrats!
  7. serenity80

    serenity80 Well-Known Member

    I am so proud of you, you are an example of what can happen if you choose life. Way to go!!!

    Much Love

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