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life...not interrupted

Discussion in 'Freedom from Hell ~ Staying Clean~' started by Sluggo, Oct 15, 2008.

  1. guinevere64

    guinevere64 Well-Known Member

    "Love silence, even in the mind... Much speaking, as much thinking, spends... True silence is the rest of the mind; and is to the spirit, what sleep is to the body: nourishment and refreshment." —William Penn, 1699

    Hope you're getting some silence these days, Janice.

    much love, --g
  2. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    if I make it till tomorrow without shooting myself (or someone else)....i'll count it as a victory.
  3. Living Free

    Living Free Well-Known Member

    ok then, best way to succeed is to go to bed early Janice :) Seriously, I have been praying for you, whatever is going on, that you continue to have the strength to deal.
  4. trudger

    trudger Well-Known Member

    Well if you believe in the power of prayer, and I am pretty sure you do, then you have to know that you have a whole bunch of us saying a prayer for you right now.

    "I've had the good ripped away from me and felt sorrow until I could drown. But it passed."

    This is something I read a few weeks ago in one of my meditation books and boy did it hit home. We don't always acknowledge that life is painful and that even doing our best, working a program, we are going to suffer that kind of pain at times.

    Remember, this too shall pass. There's always another chance to play the game, dance, sweat, and cry.

    These words were very comforting to me then as I hope they will be for you right now.

    Know that you are loved,
  5. teach07

    teach07 Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you Janice and sending positive thoughts your way......

    Much Love.... Carol
  6. Living Free

    Living Free Well-Known Member

    Hang in there Janice. However painfully hard, whatever youre dealing with, know that youre loved and we care. Hope to hear from you soon.
  7. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    thanks guys....

    Mom's surgery is tomorrow in nyc. they are attempting to remove tumor (of pancreatic cancer). if cancer has spread....they're gonna sew her back up and she's got 3-6 months to live.

    Dad is home too sick/weakened from chemo/radiation. My mom's only concern is getting better so she can care for my Dad. She's so sick herself.

    that's it. gonna be gone for awhile.....

  8. AumuA

    AumuA Well-Known Member

    Please keep an occasional update at least! The positive side is that whatever happens, you can be there for them, and you can be present through this. That in itself might not feel like something to be thankful for right now, but it is a miracle. You are in my prayer.
  9. guinevere64

    guinevere64 Well-Known Member

    Carrying you around with me... sometimes like a shawl, sometimes a worry-bead, sometimes perfume... --G


    We join spokes together in a wheel,
    but it is the center hole
    that makes the wagon move.

    We shape clay into a pot,
    but it is the emptiness inside
    that holds whatever we want.

    We hammer wood for a house,
    but it is the inner space
    that makes it livable.

    We work with being,
    but non-being is what we use.

    TAO TE CHING, Trans. Stephen Mitchell (Harper & Row, 1988)
  10. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    Planning is only the ego’s decision to be anxious now. - Hugh Prather

    Making plans and assumptions about the future means that we don’t entirely trust God to guide us. It also means we think we know now exactly what the future should be. Or, we might be afraid of what will happen in the future, so we plan, thinking we can somehow control it.

    What happens when we waste time worrying about the future? We overlook what’s going on right now. Looking ahead, we keep ourselves from getting the most out of this moment, and the next moment, and the next. When making plans to visit a new place, we have to make reservations and buy the tickets, but we can’t plan every moment of our agenda, and we can’t worry about what may happen to us while we’re there.

    I will trust God for what I need when its time comes.
  11. bigchr2k10

    bigchr2k10 Well-Known Member

    I love this! Definitely what I needed when I have been worrying a ton about some future plans on my horizon. Thank you for sharing. -Chris
  12. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    The craving of one given to heedless living grows like a creeper. Like the monkey seeking fruits in the forest, he leaps from life to life. Whoever is overcome by this wretched and sticky craving, his sorrows grow like grass after the rains.

    But whoever overcomes this wretched craving, so difficult to overcome, from him sorrows fall away like water from a lotus leaf.

    -The Buddha
  13. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    i have never...ever....been thrown so many challenges (and opportunities, but right now, they just feel like challenges).

    Both parents fighting cancer, in and out of hospitals, my child struggling, and rushed to the ER last night. I don't usually post about personal stuff goin on...but man. its brutal.

    I'm walkin through all of it. with tears, some fear....and hopefully dignity and grace (at least my sponsor said I am). a huge lesson in reaching out, asking for help, and letting others help me.

    I had to let go of that need to 'manage' everyone/everything and be all things to all people.

    I made the decision (again) that
    a. I could not manage my own life (though i try reaaaalllly freakin hard).
    b. God could and would if he were sought. (over and over again)

  14. Living Free

    Living Free Well-Known Member

    Ive been praying for you to have continued strength thru it all. I hope your little guy is ok Janice?? Its certainly a lot to handle and am glad to see you sharing about it. I am here to listen if you need to talk. Much love and respect to you.
  15. guinevere64

    guinevere64 Well-Known Member

    I've prayed for you and your family too, Janice. ... Wish there were more I could do. Hopin Jack is OK. Please let us know.

    An enactment of "success." I was writing somewhere else that I've been experiencing that sobriety doesn't guarantee me anything but the ability to deal with life without drinking/using. Which is to say, it doesn't guarantee I won't lose any of the people/things I love. I think you might have mentioned this to me at one point and I've found it to be true.

    Been making a lot of new and unfamiliar moves lately... Watching you has helped me. Thanks. love, G
  16. tippi666

    tippi666 Well-Known Member


    Thinking of you in these difficult times, wishing there was something tangible I could do to help. You've been a big inspiration to me over the years. Sometimes it doesn't feel like much just to make it through the day without self-destructing, but for folks like us it's a miracle, and never something to be shrugged off/discounted. To be present and walk through the fear with dignity--that makes you my hero for today. I'm sending you all of my love and grace.

  17. shar586

    shar586 Well-Known Member

    Hi janice, just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your going through a pretty rough time at the moment. Your in my thoughts, and I wish you all the best.

  18. gettingbetter

    gettingbetter Well-Known Member

    Hey Janice, I just saw this. How's it goin with Jack? Other things?

    You know that I love you and have complete faith in your ability to have faith and let go. Remember the frog? Be the frog. He just hangs out and is a frog. Frogs feel no need to make the world spin on its axis.

    We will talk soon. You have always helped me so much. Let me help you now, any time you need it. Five/six hours is no biggie and my class ends next week.

    much love
  19. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

  20. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    In Buddhism there is a great respect for the power of self-centeredness to co-opt even the most magnanimous or sublime experience for its own self-aggrandizement. The idea of ego is not so much a thing as a habit of using whatever experience arises to solidify and prop up our feeling of a solid and separate identity. It is literally a form of ingesting experience to fatten our own self-absorption.

    - Judy Lief

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