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My Recovery

Discussion in 'Family and Friends' started by loralee, May 12, 2010.

  1. sailormom

    sailormom Well-Known Member

    Best wishes and keep it up.
     
  2. StuckonSubs

    StuckonSubs Well-Known Member

    Best wishes with your son!

    Reading yours and other parents posts has helped me to realize all the damage I did to my own family during my active addiction.
    It never really sank in while I was using, just how much collateral damage my addiction created...
     
  3. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    loralee,
    That's a big jump for you and your family! Please know we are here for you ( and your son). I will be thinking of you often
     
  4. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    Well my son has been home for a month living in an oxford house. He did relapse. I could tell. His Dad and I confronted him. He denied it. Days later he admitted it and got clean again and put some days together. Today, I don't know. He has not been kicked out of his Oxford house yet. I guess time will tell. I got to spend probably about 6 different days with him when he was sober and make some memories. I am very grateful. I had no new happy memories with my real son. It has been amazing seeing my real son again even for a few days. The jury is not out yet about how this ends. I can say he didn't go down without a fight. This time was greatly different and even if he doesn't make it he has really matured for a change and he made positive steps forward.

    LL
     
  5. sailormom

    sailormom Well-Known Member

    Keeping you, your son and family in my prayers. I sure hope he gets back on the road and stays there. I understand what you mean about seeing the real son... my last 2 visits were not with my real son they were with the addiction monster within him. A lot of angry things were said on our last day.
    Take care of you my friend.
     
  6. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply sailormom, and I hope that God is healing your heart. I hope you know that you were and are a wonderful Mom. You are so encouraging and giving during this painful time of your loss. I know that you still have much to give in your life and that you will fulfill the purpose for which you were made. Thank you for your gifts to this message board. You are also in my prayers.

    LL
     
  7. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    Checking in. My son is out there since June. I haven't seen him. I talk to him or text with him when he answers. I remember that I don't have control over the choices he makes or the way he lives his life. It is painful. I worry but I don't let the worry take over. I live my own life one day at a time and count my blessings. It is a good life and I am blessed. My son knows we love him. I hope that one day he will come back to us. Until then I set a good example for all my kids of a happy life and I pray for him and leave it in God's hands. Some days are easier than others. I hope everyone here is also living their own life. I wish you all comfort and peace on this painful jpurney.

    LL
     
  8. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    So sorry Loralee. Hang in there.
     
  9. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone it has been a long time since I checked in. I have come a long way in my own recovery. I have been staying busy with work, my three grandkids, and have been volunteering in a homeless shelter which I really love. I take wonderful vacations with my husband and enjoy my family and friends.

    I have so so much to be grateful for. My son will turn 24. He has been the same, living his addiction. Except that he hasn't been picked up and has not gone to jail for a year now even though he has a warrant. He found a girlfriend on the streets and I found out they were living outside in a tent this summer but one day all their stuff was burned by someone. He has been having more trouble finding couches to surf.

    i don't have much hope. I didn''t see my son for the holidays. I call him once a week. Sometimes I reach him, sometimes i don't. I rarely see him. I just live my own life and accept that this is his life that he has chosen. I accept it may always be this way. I accept that this is my son now. I don't live in fear really anymore because I know that it could end in death and I accept that too. I don't have control over this. It is a mysterious world we live in and i don't know the future.

    I live in just for today and I choose to be happy and joyful for the many blessings in my life. I wish you all the same peace.

    LL
     
  10. StuckonSubs

    StuckonSubs Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your son. But it sounds like you are handling it well. There really isn't much you can do (besides not enable him) until he is ready to get clean anyway, which you already know. Glad to hear you are living a clean and happy life! Keep up the good work!
     
  11. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Loralee,

    You definately need to be proud of yourself and what an inspiration you are to so many! Your hard work and great attitude are amazing!

    I will continue to send positive thoughts and prayers out to your son. I just don't know what to say... I wish I could change it. I wish he knew there is hope and a wonderful life out there for him.
    HUGS!
     
  12. MemoryGap

    MemoryGap Active Member

    thanks for posting some of your experience and thoughts guys, you did not know how much this meant to me, to us who suffering and love to be off of drugs.
     
  13. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    I haven't been here for a long time so I thought I would check in. I am on another forum now Naranon forum which has so much experience, strength and hope on it. I highly recommend it for families of addicts. I go to Alanon meetings, have a sponsor and work the 12 steps. This has allowed me to survive my son's addiction and to be happy whether he is using or not. He is now 25. Just for today he is in rehab. He was on the streets for two years since his last time in rehab. He wanted to go and we were able to find a place one more time (we paid some out of pocket and insurance covers some) . We talk a little but I am leaving his recovery up to him and his higher power. I don't know what the future holds but today I am grateful for this day where my son is safe and sober. May Gos bless all of you on this site there is recovery for us.
     
    PrincessMa likes this.
  14. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    Checking in. My son is 26 and still using. Currently we have let him move into one of our rental houses with his girlfriend. They are supposed to get sober. He was on the streets for at least 5 years except when in treatment. I think the house is helping him. The stability of a house gives him a chance to think about other parts of his life than just survival mode. I am thankful he is still alive. My nephew age 29 overdosed this year and was in the hospital for 5 months. He has a severe brain injury but he is alive. He can’t walk very well or do a lot of movements but he has most of his mind still. His life is forever changed. I don’t know if my son will ever recover. I visit him once a month and check on the house. I haven’t decided when I will kick him out. Not during winter. I live my life and it is a good life with so many blessings. I work a strong alanon program and I am at peace with this most of the time. I wish you all here the same peace and the ability to live your own life joyfully despite the addiction. Our fight for our own recovery is also a fight so that the family disease of addiction doesn’t win by taking out every member of the family. I made it out, my son hasn’t yet, but my recovery is a victory for our family even so. God Bless!
     
    PrincessMa likes this.
  15. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    I would imagine that you sleep so much easier knowing her has a roof over his head. I would also imagine that many of your uneducated friends may judge you for allowing it - so many people think that 'tough love' is the only option. Kudo's to you. Your son is lucky to have you on his side.
     

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