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One week down.. yawning is uncontrollable

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Recovery' started by stayingCLEANforever, May 19, 2008.

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  1. stayingCLEANforever

    stayingCLEANforever Active Member

    HEY Everyone! I just wanted to share my experience detoxing oxycodone with suboxone outpatient. I was taking atleast 180mg of roxys a day. Last Tuesday @ 10pm was my last doses of oxy. I started subs weds afternoon when the wd symptoms became intense. I took 4mg a total of 4 times that night because I absolutely could not believe i was taking them right (which i wasn't; i was swallowing the goop from under my tongue) When it did finally start workingn(6am) I did not get relief from the mental withdrawels (depression, cravings). I was getting especially anxious about the fact that everyone says its just as bad as (if not worse)than getting off than oxy if you take them for over a month and that I am just delaying the inevitable. It made me think,, :( F$)*% THIS! THIS DOCTOR IS GETTING ME ADDICTED TO THE SAME STUPID OPIODS!. During the second day, I went to my mothers and I was telling her I was going to quit the bup and let the wd take hold and to prepare to see me really sick. However, around 10pm when I should have started to get really anxious for my scheduled dose at midnight, i started to feel better! I thought that there was no way this could be true.. I didn't want to jump out of my skin/warp to the future or anything! Then came the turning point in my recovery, I talked to a friend (oxy use over 230mg/day) who said he only used subs for 2 days just to "get over that hump" and he was fine taking benzos to sleep for the following couple days. Knowing someone else could do it with higher doses of oxys made me feel almost confident about recovery. Now I am here almost a full week clean and I have used 1 mg xanax last night and the night before to sleep. Probably will again tonight.. Currently, my only symptoms are uncontrollable yawning.. Does anyone know how long this will last??? (i remember this being one of the reasons why i started upping my doses in the first place) The sleeplessness is not so bad because I am so happy to be clean and video games make late night hours fly by. I'm never going to let another opiod enter my body. also, the subs depressed my breathing so much that taking a tylonol pm made me feel like my lungs did not work... I have had a collapsed lung and use large amounts of MJ so maybe thats why. I feel great now, the pills were a cause of depression for me and now the fog has lifted.Personally, I see suboxone as a successful SHORT TERM detox med to make the first couple days a mental battle instead of mental/physical battle. Of coase one may need it as a maintenance to stay clean and it sure is better than dope or pills. Every person is different but I'm a believer that every person is strong enough to beat these aweful drugs! Good luck to you and I am here for you.
    -Andy

    MY MINDS THE WEAPON...., MY HEARTS THE EXTRA CLIP.
     
  2. spacejam65

    spacejam65 Well-Known Member

    If your still on the sub, its dangerous to also be taking a benzo with it. Quite a few people have died from doing that. It was also scary to hear you tell that you had a hard time breathing after taking the tylenol pm with the sub. Thats how we as opiate addicts die, we just quit breathing because opiates play hell with our respitory system. Please be careful. Not sure when the yawning will stop but be grateful that that is the only thing you have to worry about in w/d from sub.
     
  3. stayingCLEANforever

    stayingCLEANforever Active Member

    noo there is no way i could survive taking both lol! i took the subs until 6pm on the second day.. its pissing me off that i have to take xanax just to sleep! im kinda excited to be one week clean at 10pm tonight so much so that i might have a drink.. from which i abstained during my ENTIRE stint on oxys including my 21st bday! the depression which was visiting only at nights (and cured with benzos) is here today.. i hope i dont have long episodes of depression because im not really sure i could handle it and i DO NOT want to get on effexor (recommended by my dr) im going to stay clean and im going to try to stay away from the benzos.

    MY MINDS THE WEAPON...., MY HEARTS THE EXTRA CLIP.
     
  4. OnMyWay

    OnMyWay Well-Known Member

    hey andy!! great job! so many people (myself included) dont realize sub is best used as a short-term detox tool until too late...but you are absolutely right.

    if i were you, though...i would NOT have that drink tonight. i understand that you feel good and you should be proud of your week. but i know that personally, if i gave myself permission to start drinking....well, i'm an addict. and given enough time, anything can become my drug of choice. so please at least reconsider, and always be safe.

    the same, btw, is true of benzos...so be careful...
     
  5. spacejam65

    spacejam65 Well-Known Member

    Yep, don't take that drink. If your like me, that just leads me back to opiates mixed with alcohol! Being clean means off of ALL mind altering drugs, unless you really need them and they are prescribed by a good doc and you take them as directed.
    Hang in there, its going to get better! That is without the booze!
     
  6. stayingCLEANforever

    stayingCLEANforever Active Member

    Thanks guys! I ended up having that drink and one other.. nothing came of it.. no euphoria no sleep no nothing. im going to continue my updates under pain pills.. the only substance i have to have is THC.. i couldnt function without it lol
    -Andy

    MY MINDS THE WEAPON...., MY HEARTS THE EXTRA CLIP.
     
  7. arlenewla

    arlenewla Well-Known Member

    Babe...are you aware that both alcohol and pot are depressants?

    You might make it a lot easier on yourself if you didn't think in terms of "StayingCleanForever" and switched it up into "StayingCleanJustForToday."

    Watcha' think?:)

    Arlene
    Exodus From MMT;12-25-02
    <center>THIS TOO SHALL PASS</center>
     
  8. T-HAZ

    T-HAZ Well-Known Member

    Excellent post as usual, Ar. Yeah, stayingcleanforever, you cannot have sobriety on your terms. Smoking pot and drinking from time to time does not work - it's all or nothing. The good thing is that when you take recovery seriously, you won't even want to do any of that. You'll have something better! Go to meetings and more will be revealed....

    Peace,

    T-HAZ
     
  9. mano

    mano Well-Known Member

    "Smoking pot and drinking from time to time does not work - it's all or nothing."

    Ah, such wise 12 step thinking [88]

    Not true at all....Many people can control the use of social drugs like alcohol and pot, just as many people can quit using opiates or whatever without going to NA and labeling themsleves as an addict for life, or using maintenance drugs.

    I'm 8 weeks off long term sub maintenance and smoke pot daily, in moderation...I have no cravings to use opiates. I had 3 beers last night, for the 1st time in many months, as my family sat around preparing for my Mothers funeral tomorrow....I got a bad headache and doubt I'll drink again anytime soon.

    I do agree however, if you are still hanging out with the same people you did and they are still using opiates, you can probably change your name to stayingcleanfornever. You do know us old timers have all said "we will never use opiates again" many many times...I'm still holding my breath at 8 weeks and hoping I can do this. You are playing with fire (with opiates) so be very careful, and good luck!!
     
  10. T-HAZ

    T-HAZ Well-Known Member

    Cool! Now I can do a little coke this weekend! Then some X next Friday...

    Thanks for the heads up!

    T.
     
  11. Freefly

    Freefly Well-Known Member

    Ha they are called the "Yets" just wait my friend the sh*t will hit the fan in time. If not you will be the first one to have a few beers and a litte pot with no issue. I wish i could but a few beers i can not understand and why smoke just some pot when i can be stoned all day long. [8D] It started with just one bag of dope, well then 3-4 grams a day later......[V]

    Also who cares if you are labled an "addict for ever?" Need to keep up with the jonses?

    Day by Day is the only way....
     
  12. Mic

    Mic Guest

    Don't confuse "12 Step thinking" with common sense. For every rule, I'll find an exception. I suspect that for most people (well at least many, specially if they end up at a detox website)recreational use/ potential for cross-addiction has notta to do with 12 step, and everything to do with the fact that we are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking/using. If this doesn't apply to you, terrific! We try to deal in reality here at ODR.

    Mic

    </center><center>It takes what it takes
     
  13. arlenewla

    arlenewla Well-Known Member

    Why thank you, honey!:)

    Abstinence takes all the unknowns and "yets" out of the equation.

    12 Step "thinking" is simple thinking. The simplicity in staying clean becomes very freeing.

    For a hardcore addict like me...I know if I don't use anything, I can't get loaded. I like them odds. [;^)]

    Arlene
    Exodus From MMT;12-25-02
    <center>THIS TOO SHALL PASS</center>
     
  14. OnMyWay

    OnMyWay Well-Known Member

    Man, I just love that.
     
  15. arlenewla

    arlenewla Well-Known Member

    So, honey...you're playing with fire here.

    This isn't just about opioids or no opioids. Just like alcoholism isn't just about booze, addiction doesn't exist in the vacuum of one substance. Rather, they are all encompassing.

    We use substances...in whatever the form...whatever the name. We use substances to make us feeeel better...or not to feeeeel at all. That's what we do best...change our perception of anything we're uncomfortable with.

    My question to you is why? Why the need to get out of your own skin with another substance? What are you running from? That's the true Diz-Ease...uncomfortability. That's why we medicate; be it with opioids, pot, booze, benzo's...whatever.

    So, perhaps at 8 weeks off of opiates, you might not be so quick to scoff at "12 Step thinking". A little humility goes a long way. The humility to accept that the substances in your life might just bite you in the arse when you ain't looking. Defenses are down...prudent decision making becomes clouded...and bamm, its back to opiates.

    I'm an old timer who has not used opiates in 5+1/2 years and I fervently believe its because I adhere to abstinence from other drugs and alcohol. This way, I don't have to look at substance A or B and wonder if & when it will be the one to take me down and back to opiates.

    Arlene
    Exodus From MMT;12-25-02
    <center>THIS TOO SHALL PASS</center>
     
  16. arlenewla

    arlenewla Well-Known Member

    Mano...I just realized I missed something of major importance. I'm so very sorry about your loss of your Mom. Please accept my sincerest condolences, hun'.

    Arlene
    Exodus From MMT;12-25-02
    <center>THIS TOO SHALL PASS</center>
     
  17. OnMyWay

    OnMyWay Well-Known Member

    gosh...i did too...i'm so sorry for your loss, mano.
     
  18. Freefly

    Freefly Well-Known Member

    Mano Pick up this book it will help you with the loss of your mom. GOD SPEED.

    WALKING IN THE GARDEN OF SOULS
    GEORGE ANDERSON AND ANDREW BARONE
    GP PUTNAM, INC.
    This book has been called "The Roadmap to Peace" and "Riveting and Inspirational" by reviewers. The latest in the series of books written by George Anderson helps readers to undersand loss as an experience of life, and how to recover, grow and live again. Available at bookstores or


    Day by Day is the only way....
     
  19. KB

    KB Well-Known Member

    mano, you know i have read your story and talked with you at different sites--i was alarmed when you posted that you were drinking and smoking pot. you have worked TOO HARD to screw this up!!! please don't take any risks that may lead you back to the hells of active addiction!! i want to see you succeed off sub so i and other's will see it can be done! i know losing your mom was horrible--i lost mine last june--so i know what you are going thru--stay strong! and clean! you conquered sub and that is no easy task--so i know you can do it!! please keep posting and don't take offense to these posts, we just care about you!

    robin
     
  20. mano

    mano Well-Known Member

    my my, the 12 stepers are opinionated and defensive. I've always said if it works for you, great...but I hate people who push it, live it, breath it, etc. and for those of you who say it is the only way, that is pure bunk.

    There are many other types of recovery programs, REBT, (the R stands for rational folks), Smartrecovery, etc., and for some the best is no recovery program at all....get clean and go out and live life....join a church if you want more religion in your life, and surround yourself with more than other "addicts".

    We are all addicts and continue with some addictions...ciggerettes, coffee, overeating, the lottery, the internet, diet pills, porn, and hundreds of other potentially dangerous things....some can handle these things, others can not.

    I wasn't saying go out and do some blow or get blasted on booze daily, but for me, and for many others, we can have an occasional drink or smoke a little pot without relapsing back to opiates.
     
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