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Our Princess

Discussion in 'Family and Friends' started by PrincessMa, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Lots of goings on - too much to even write about as am still amidst it all.

    Things with ibogaine itself went well. She has other issues that are more than drug related - lying, stealing, basic dishonesty type stuff. It is hard to discern how much it helped as can't really get a straight answer. Time will tell. We are flying up to SFO tomorrow and she is moving into a structured sober living situation. I come back home on Monday and will probably sleep a week. I have been sleeping and existing with one eye open for long enough. Hoping that her being away and left to her own devices may be helpful. We all need some space. It has been a crummy two months. We are tired.
     
  2. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    ((Hugs)) Is it that place we talked about in SFO? I am curious how it will be for her, as we almost did that one.
    Hopefully they will help with the "other issues".. Emily is the same and this place she is at now is really holding her accountable.. funny how they react in a positive way when it strangers are holding them accountable vs their parents. And for your above reasons, that is why I can't have Emily live here ever again. I need my sleep too, I need my things that I worked for, I need my home to be my safe place, not be a prisoner in my own home.

    Hopefully you can get good sleep and know in your heart and head you have done all you can, and more than most.
    Keep us posted.. and go get some good rest!
     
  3. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    No - different place. Her counselor felt a more loosely structured place might be something where she might have a better chance of doing well.
     
  4. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    awhh I guess I didn't realize the other place was so strict.. I was wrong, when I thought it was too loose for Emily, I felt she thrives in a more stuctured place. But, I get them all confused sometimes.. been so many!

    How are you feeling? Get some sleep? If not, I got it for you.. I been sleeping in way too late and it's throwing me off completely.

    What did you think when you dropped her off, do you feel comfortable with it?
     
  5. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Seems like all is good for now. This is her day #9 and she still sounds strong. Had a very 'normal' morning conversation with her. She is making clean friends and seems to have found a sponsor. Is excited about the San Fran pride festival and also something called Living Sober that is coming to that area at the end of the month. Seems to be following house rules.

    What is newest with Emily?
     
  6. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Sounds really good.. I hope things are still the same with you guys.

    I am gonna post on my thread about Emily, as we saw her this past weekend.
     
  7. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    PrincessMa.. How are things going with your daughter??
     
  8. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Wow - have been away from thread for quite a while...

    Things were rocky at first - a relapse at around 25 days after moving in. She called me and was less than up-front about what happened. It took a few days but she eventually admitted she had used (which already knew by that time). She is good right now. They moved her into a different house with an onsite house manager after the relapse. Seems to be a great fit. Same 'program' - very independent - but with required daily AA meetings, 5 night a week house meetings, daily chores, must be drug-free. She his still looking for daily meetings that she really LIKES - she has one women's meeting on Friday nights that she considers her home meeting - I went with her to the last time we went up to visit. She has started an 3 x a week outpatient program two weeks ago and she seems to really like it - see's a therapist every week as well. All seems on track. Her stolen car was even recovered just last Friday. It is down in Mexico as we suspected and will be a while to get it back. Even longer for her to save up for the insurance and repairs for whatever damage was done. The 'job' hasn't happened yet but will have to soon - our funding is nearing the end - we are just running out of resources and are ready to relax a bit more ourselves. The glimmer of the car got her very pumped about getting a move-on.

    Praying a lot here and just keeping fingers and toes crossed at all times.
     
  9. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    So good to hear, been in my prayers. Please send mr a email if possible. Would love to get good update. Actually would love to share some more info.
     
  10. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    Good news, indeed! So glad for your daughters good choices that are shoring up her sobriety! It's all about progress now and I am sending wishes for her to continue on her path to recovery, health and success. It won't happen as fast as we would like, but it CAN happen with her hard work. Hugs!
     
  11. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    WOW.. glad to hear the good news.. you might not realize, but your post was full of a lot of hard work by her.. therapist, out patient, meetings, accountabilty at her house. Gotta take that while you can, cause we all know it change on dime, but like Teddy said, it CAN happen and looks like it is!

    Yes, we are at the same point as you are.. our funding is pretty much done. My husband wants to retire and not retire to a lazyboy. He has paid for 2 families and deserves to slow down a bit. It's amazing when it was just us this past year, how little we need or spend. We were able to remodel somethings and sit back a bit. Now Andy is back in the house, lots of wear and tear.. and eating me out of house and home.
     
  12. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    May have spoken too soon again - another relapse on Friday. Is making progress but lots of lying still. They are letting her stay but with stricter rules. I hope she figures it out before she ends up on the streets.
     
  13. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Oh man, one foot forward and two back huh? I think it's nice they are letting her stay and maybe she needs the stricter rules for awhile. Em's program is very strict.. for a long time.. and it's the only one that has worked the longest. I always felt she thrived in the more stricker programs. She disagreed.. of course.. but the proof is in the pudding.

    How are you handling this latest relapse? Are you ok?
     
  14. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Sad to hear...it is a process. Take care of yourself. Been meaning to get back to you. I lost your email by lap top crashing on me. I only got to read half of it. Walk away from pc then large soda covered it ending its use forever. Please get back to me. "(Bowing head in shame).... I just been so busy that I sorta lost sight. Getting back on track now, reclaiming my life again. Can you resend the last email?
     
  15. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    The strange thing about relapses is that they CAN rededicate an addict to finding long lasting sobriety... I sincerely hope this is true of your daughter. Maybe the people who run her program see some glimmers of her desire to be clean. So glad they are giving her another shot... Is she glad for the opportunity? I agree with Bonita, I hope you are taking care of yourself. Our daughters last relapse almost sent me in a real tailspin. Luckily I have some precious people in my life... And here on ODR... Who reminded me to take care of myself. Sending you hugs.
     
  16. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    So much went on in a week. After she signed an agreement to more strict rules etc... she was hurting - went to emergency room on Sunday - liver pain due to Hep C most likely - while she was there - room search at her place - found paraphernalia and fake urine test stuff - kicked out - asked for plane ticket home - we said no way - found shelter that she can stay in for 3 months - still attending outpatient program - hoping and praying that she 'gets it' - that SHE is control of HER life. That where she is is a result of what SHE had chosen.

    Makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Happy that she is safe and has a bed to sleep in with food to eat. Sad that she may be one who will learn to work the system like an expert because she is SO SMART. Scared that she has found a place to crash and will not be 'required' to maintain sobriety to live there. But also happy that she is making her own way and knowing that that, even in her situation, has to be a good feeling. We have agreed to keep her cell phone on and to pay her medical insurance and outpatient program - other than that, she is on her own. I hope she chooses to get and stay sober.

    Very selfishly, I want her clean so I can make plans with her for doing fun things more than a week ahead. Not being able to count on her condition is the hardest of all. We will not have any more vacations marred by the discovery of drug use. No more. Ever again. I hope one day I can just relax and enjoy her again with out the painful worry.

    I know that we, as parents have done everything in our power to give her all the tools to be a success in her life. Who are we really to judge what is a success?
     
  17. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    Dear PM, wow, your words really strike close to home... Especially about being 'selfish' (you are NOT). I've looked at other moms and daughters and wondered, when is my turn to have fun without wondering if she's clean and when the next brick will drop on our heads. So many vacations and weekend fun plans ruined for us, too. I know it can happen and I hope it will for you, me and all the moms and dads out there who look bleakly into the future sometimes. Your last sentences is so powerful and so true. You have done everything in your power. Now it's what she does with her power. I've changed my definition of success, too...adjusted it a bit. Sending hugs
     
  18. I just joined here tonight after reading this entire thread and thinking what an awesome bunch of people you are, and I can find some comfort here. My heart goes out to all of you. My son is a 26 year old heroin addict, who is still in and out of recovery for the past 4 years. Hes been doing some sort of opiates for the past 10 years. Currently he is on day three of a state funded detox in Florida. I look forward to being in touch here.
     
  19. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Welcome - this place has provided so much love and comfort and understanding and education. I hope it will do the same for you. So many of us here are walking the same walk. I hope he does well. I hope you do too.

    I have just returned from a 4 night escape with my husband to the beautiful Vail Valley in Colorado - ignoring all the addiction issues that surround me as well as some of my own new health issues for a few days. It was glorious!
     
  20. loralee

    loralee Well-Known Member

    PM: You are doing such a good job of taking care of yourself. Keep on. I have much hope for your daughter and am proud of you for keeping her in charge of herself and her life. Glad she has a safe place to be and that you are in communication. I know what you mean about wanting to spend fun, normal times with your addicted child. I started daydreaming occasionally about having those times if my son stayed clean. We have a family beach trip coming up. I didn't tell him because his actions. And, now I don't think he will be coming. But, I am grateful for the few moments that I have had with my sober son over the last 5.5 months while in jail and home.

    LL

    LL
     

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