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Our Princess

Discussion in 'Family and Friends' started by PrincessMa, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Welcome Sister, feel free to start your own thread and hopefully you will find some support here like we did. I hope this detox works for you son.. is he planning on doing a program after the detox? Seems like you have been going thru this a lot of years.

    PrincessMa.. so glad you got away and relaxed! How are you feeling? How is your daughter? When I was clicking on your thread.. I noticed something.. we both started here in 2009... been awhile for us huh? I know I was in it big by then, takes a while to "come out" on the board. Hopefully our stories will have happy endings .. for both or all of us. ((HUGS))
  2. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Yes, 2009 - been a while, huh? I am eagerly awaiting a happy ending.
  3. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    PM, so glad you took a trip and were able to escape for awhile. Good for you!

    I also want to welcome Sister and look forward to you joining our discussion and support.

  4. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    I read your post on Loralee's thread... I just want you to know, we support you! Thru the crummy, crappy, down right sad times and the happy, even keel times. I hope you are taking care of yourself and not letting the stress to get you. I think you have a fun trip coming up.. are you ready? Are you excited? Do you think you can relax and enjoy your time? I will be thinking of you!
  5. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Well... We are leaving this morning for 2 1/2 weeks on a much needed vacation... If things go as my girl says they will, she will be in detox (again) by the end of the week and will transfer directly into a long term residential program. She has had "problems" getting in to a detox because I am paying for her to have health insurance. In her eyes, it would be so much easier to get help if she had none and could go on something called Healthy Families. I think I will be cancelling it at the end of the year even though she is eligible for Cobra for another year and a half. It makes me so scared to drop her as I know it will be very difficult for her to obtain new coverage with everything she has done to her body. I just can't listen to the baloney anymore explaining why it is so hard for her to get help. I know if she wanted it, she'd find it.

    I am rambling - and sorry for the sarcasm - just so fed up.

    We have had spotty communication with her over the last week or so. She has been learning how to survive and maintain this addiction in SF with public assistance. Making cash by participating in medical research studies to supplement the general assistance she is collecting. I really wish she were done with this.

    Am I going to obsess over it while I am gone? NO I AM NOT! NO I AM NOT! NO I AM NOT!
  6. DON"T obsess...and have a good vacation. I just posted on my thread about my son, I am feeling so very done, as you are. Relax and enjoy your trip, you deserve it!
  7. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Have a wonderful trip! I was wondering if you were going to be able to make it.. I am so glad to hear you are!

    Your daughter is an adult, you have given her so many chances, you have not failed her, keep that in mind while you are away.

    Can't wait to hear about your trip!
  8. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    Krish is right, go with a clear conscience and enjoy. It is well deserved and much needed!
  9. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    How was your trip? How is your son and daughter? Hope you can update me/us. Thinking of you...
  10. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Trip was spectacular! Been home since Friday. Our girl has been picked up for stealing so is in jail for a bit now. Could be quite a while if it all catches up to her. Some relief that she isn't out on streets drugging I suppose. I am off to have some surgery today (yuck) and will be in hosp about a week - I'll check in when i get back and fill in all the pieces. Thanks for asking...
  11. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Good Luck with the surgery! Know I will be thinking of you! Call me if you are bored in the hosp and feel like it!
  12. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    PM, how are you doing after your surgery?? I hope you will be feeling better soon. Thinking of you and sending hugs.
  13. Sorry to hear about your daughter. But I agree, at least you know where she is. Hoping your surgery wasn't anything serious, and your feeling well. Best Wishes...
  14. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Today is a big day. I go back in for surgery today at 1:30 - they were unable to complete the procedure a few weeks ago - basically, opened me up, looked all around and closed me back up. So frustrated!

    Our girl is going in front of the judge today also at 1:30 and may or may not be let out today. She asked me to help her with some legwork trying to find a residential treatment place one more time in the event that she does get out. She sounds so up and down... She hasn't used for just about two weeks at this point and her emotions are so unregulated. Jail is tough for her. She broke a toe in jail in San Francisco somehow. Once they transferred her here to San Diego, she broke her hand after having an unpleasant telephone conversation with me. She didn't deal well with me telling her like it is at all and hit the wall after we hung up. Then on Tuesday an inmate tried to steal something of hers, she said no and the girl headbutted her and broke her nose and gave her two black eyes.

    We are so torn on how to help her. The residential places here are all so impacted with long long waiting lists. The shelters are chock full of addicts. Her old friends here in town use. She sounds like she really wants to stay clean and get into a place but who knows what tomorrow will bring. Even if she were to stay with us, our home is NOT convenient to any public transportation for outpatient programs and meetings etc.

    Lotsa prayers today friends at 1:30 please. Not even sure what to pray for exactly for though...
  15. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Hang in there...got my prayers. Getting where my prayer/mediation time is the best part of my day.
  16. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Dearest B,

    I am very glad you checked in , I have been thinking of you. I am so sorry you have endure more proceedures. I really hope you can stay focused on yourself, healing yourself physically and mentally and let your daughter make her own choices as the adult she is. You know you won't be any good to her or anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.

    Maybe these physical things with your daughter are a good thing.. she will realize this isn't the life she wantd. I remember my reiki master saying to me, let's just hope those bed bugs keep biting Emily. So much so she gets sick of them and finds herself a program.

    But, I hope in check in and let us know how you are..
  17. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Just checking n here... I am 2 weeks post op after having surgery to remove a section of my colon. Our daughter's court date (for a felony possession) was at the exact time of my surgery - and since it was this felony again, we opted to have an attorney make the appearance with her - hoping he would be able to guide the courts into a mandated recovery situation rather than a plain sentence or another minimal diversion program. She had been put in jail in San Francisco on October 10th and was sent to San Diego to deal with her warrants here after they finished with her. She was given a third chance at a diversion program - 13 weeks, one or so hour each week - in our hometown. If she completes, then they will get rid of the felony charge.

    She is clean at this time and living with us - again. I am so torn. So happy to have 'her' back in this sober state, but feeling like I am enabling by having her here with us. With my really needing someone around to help while my husband is at work after this surgery, it sure is nice to have her here. She is a joy to have here when she is clean - fun, entertaining, and as I have said before, we enjoy the same TV, foods, everything. She will be 30 days clean tomorrow. If we didn't allow her to stay here, San Diego is a tough place to be homeless - not a lot of homeless programs like when she was in San Francisco. Shelters and meals are tough to come by here, public transportation very inconvenient. She would end up hanging with all the old users she knew here in SD during the 13 weeks and it would be a miracle if she'd complete the diversion program. So - for the moment as she is attending meetings, helping, not stealing from us, we area allowing her to stay here. I am off from work for another month so i can be with her most all of her time. When I write this in black and white it bothers me, as I think long term she needs to be out on her own figuring it out, not with me babysitting her. In my mind I know she NEEDS a long term recovery home - but I think this minute, she needs to complete this diversion program first. If all goes well, she'll finish the first week of February. Ideally, she'll find her a place to transition to at that point.

    Keeping her and her father from tearing each other apart is a challenge. He doesn't have much a soft spot left for her as she seems to do everything in her power to make it hard for him to giver her another chance. Most recently, while in jail she pierced her lower lip in two places, something that makes it very hard for him to even LOOK at her. In my opinion, she is doing it so she can explain his lack of interest in her being due to the piercing, rather than just his just being 'done' with her.

    I don't know.....
  18. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    I am glad to hear you are doing ok.. I was just thinking of you! Sounds like kinda a long recovery and hope you take it easy and take care of yourself.

    I know how you feel about enjoying your daughter clean and sober. I say grab those moments when you can. I am glad she isn't stealing, she is helping and doing diverstion. Maybe she can still look for something long term while she is at your house now, so it's not a last minute thing? Too bad the courts didn't mandate that.. a long term program.

    Perhaps your husband is afraid to let his guard down and be hurt again. I am like that sometimes. It's easier to not engage at all sometimes. The piercing.. well.. seems those kinda things happen when they are clean.. like they are trying to substitute or something?

    Please take care of yourself and so glad you came on and gave us an update! Hugs!
  19. PrincessMa

    PrincessMa Well-Known Member

    Just checking in. She has 50 days clean under her belt as of today. Still living with us - kind of living in a bubble since I am still off work from my surgery. Very proud of her.
  20. teddyb

    teddyb Well-Known Member

    That's awesome! I'm so happy for her and you!

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