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Over two weeks off tar!

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by NoMoreOpiates, Feb 7, 2010.

  1. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Quitting tar a little over two weeks ago was the best thing that has happened to me since I became a full-on, every day, opiate/heroin addict a little over a year and a half ago. My life has been 100x better since quitting a little over two weeks ago. In the months leading up to the time when I was actually able to quit, I was smoking about a gram a day. And you know what, it wasn't even getting me high, I think it was making me more depressed because I'd have such feelings of shame, remorse, disappointment, among other feelings every time I'd use. In fact, in the month to two months leading up to me quitting, I was more depressed than I had ever been in my life, and the heroin was responsible for that. I was only using at that point so that I could function, work, and most importantly - NOT GET SICK. It really becomes pathetic when you're spending $400-500 a week to live life to not get sick. Seriously, that is pathetic...and I was soooo pathetic. Oh gosh, it's almost embarrassing to think about...but we live, and we (hopefully) learn.

    From the very beginning, the drug takes everything you like in life, and tells your mind that you like the drug better, and nothing else is as good/fun/enjoyable. And then, after a while, the drug sucked the life out of me. I lost all enjoyment in doing things that I once liked. Things that I used to love, I didn't even like anymore. My mind really seemed to like only one thing, in fact, and that was smoking heroin. I didn't want to do anything but use. And whenever I was doing anything, most of what I'd think about is when I can go use again. That sh*t seriously RULES your life and having to consider when you could use next was seriously considered before every decision I made whenever doing anything. I knew it was really bad for me when I completely lost motivation to do everything, and I really mean everything. I didn't give a crap about even the slightest human interaction (the only human I wanted to interact with was my dealer). All I wanted to do was sit and home and use and use enough so that I'd nod out, and fall asleep for a little bit. The way I looked at it, at least when I was asleep, I couldn't be thinking about how much I hated life and how pathetic I was for allowing this drug to completely dominate me and RULE my life!

    I had tried quitting before, but a sequence of events happened (nothing bad really), but some stuff happened and finally, everything clicked for me. I knew I needed to quit, and I knew that a little over two weeks ago was when that needed to happen. One of the things that happened is that I hit a mental rock bottom. I finally hated my addiction so much that I felt like I was ready to quit...and I really WANTED to do it. I'm still trying to understand why it happened the way it did, but this time is sooo very different for me. I've tried quitting several times since I first became a full-on addict, and made it more than a couple days without using several times, and one time last year, I was able to make it like 11 days. I wanted to quit those times because it seemed like the right thing to do when you're an addict, but I don't think I was really ready because I went back to using after each of those times, the longest being, as said above, 11 days.

    Now I'm on day 16 and am so confident in myself this time. I do have to say, I have been taking suboxone, so I'm not fully clean, but I wouldn't have been able to get to the point where I'm at without suboxone because, at the end of my addiction, I was using to not get sick...and had I not had suboxone to help me quit tar, I would have gone back to using because the sickness hits me so hard that my mind ALWAYS has said, USE USE USE, it will make you feel better. So anyways, the suboxone has been a tremendous help for me. I took approximately 4mgs for the first week, approx 2mgs for the second week, and today I took only about 1.5mgs of suboxone. My plan/goal is to be off suboxone within 30 days of quitting heroin. So I'm going to try to get down to 1mg by the end of week three (end of this week), and will work my way completely off the sub during my 4th week. I know that it will be rough for me to get off the sub after using it for a month, but it's my understanding that it will be much less severe...not to mention, I'm going to be so much mentally stronger after 4 weeks of not using than where I was the day, or the couple of days after I quit. I know I can do it and I AM DOING IT.

    Now, with all that said, EVERYTHING in my life has been so much better since I quit. I cannot believe how much better I feel mentally. It's like I'm a whole new person and I actually don't hate life anymore...I'm actually starting to kind of like it again. The fact that something clicked, the fact that I've been feeling great, the fact that I'm starting to build a support system to maintain recovery, are all part of what has me confident and determined that this is finally the time. This is the time when I'm finally kicking this for good, and I'm very excited about what life could be like, and what it's going to be like, now that I'm going to be living a clean life. 2010 is going to be about 2010x better than 2009. I can feel it already.

    It feels good to express some of these things, especially with all of you, since most everyone can relate. I am so proud of myself for getting to this point and I am going to continue to kick a** in my recovery!

    For those of you who are reading this and thinking of quitting, there's no time like now. I think that if you give it a fair chance, I think that you'll really like life a lot better on the sober side. I know that pretty much everything in my life has been better since quitting, so give it a try, and see how amazingly well it can work out for you too!

    I still have A TON to learn about recovering, and it helps to share my thoughts, but any recommendations or suggestions you all could offer me to help me to continue this recovery path that I've started on would be so greatly appreciated. I've read this board for a while, and many of you have so much time under your belt and have a lot to offer...and I'm all ears!! Thanks for reading (if you made it this far), enjoy the Super Bowl, and have a great day!
     
    Chasin' it likes this.
  2. Freefly

    Freefly Well-Known Member

    Right on!~!
     
  3. kunzite52

    kunzite52 Well-Known Member

    Quitting tar a little over two weeks ago was the best thing that has happened to me since I became a full-on, every day, opiate/heroin addict a little over a year and a half ago. My life has been 100x better since quitting a little over two weeks ago. In the months leading up to the time when I was actually able to quit, I was smoking about a gram a day. And you know what, it wasn't even getting me high, I think it was making me more depressed because I'd have such feelings of shame, remorse, disappointment, among other feelings every time I'd use. In fact, in the month to two months leading up to me quitting, I was more depressed than I had ever been in my life, and the heroin was responsible for that. I was only using at that point so that I could function, work, and most importantly - NOT GET SICK. It really becomes pathetic when you're spending $400-500 a week to live life to not get sick. Seriously, that is pathetic...and I was soooo pathetic. Oh gosh, it's almost embarrassing to think about...but we live, and we (hopefully) learn.

    WOW you deserve to be proud, took me a LONG time with my son, he got up to 400./day of heroin and he hated himself and he hated his life, but he knew not how to stop it. He finally ended up before a judge in withdrawal facing 1.5 years of jail time, which at the time he figured he deserved. But no one expected me to show up at Court, but there I was, no attorney to represent him, but me pleading with the JUDGE to get him to detox and rehab. And so it happened that way, detox~rehab In patient and then a sober living house for 5 wonderful years. My son grew up. Hooray! And so have you, but that you just did this is phenomenal.

    Kick up the recovery and add in some exercise, start taking vitamins, rehydrate that poor body from all its sickness. Get moving though, keep going. Get out and walk, go to a gym, occupy your time with real life activities. Your determination is a blessing and an inspiration to all who read this site! So please fill your time, even consider meetings, my son did 120 meetings in 120 days first off in sober living, it helped so much. Eventually he was speaking at detox centers, pushing home the lessons he learned.

    Glad you are here, thanks for such an encouraging post. And I will never ever forget the first time I heard my son laugh in 4 years time. Never. Laughing, living, it is so worth it. It gets easier too as time passes. Welcome to the site and to your new life.
    Always,
    annie
     
    Chasin' it likes this.
  4. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much for the response, kunzite52 (annie). I really appreciate it. And yeah, I guess I'm kind of lucky...if I keep this up and stop for good this time (which I AM going to do), I got out kind of early being a full-on addict for only a year and a half. That said, I was a recreational opiate user (only pills/OCs) for about 7 years or so before I became a full-time addict. About a year before becoming a full-time addict, shortly after first trying smoking tar (graduating from only previously popping/snorting pills), I did get addicted/use for about a month straight. But some stuff happened and I was able to quit everyday use of that and came out of it relatively unharmed without any severe withdrawals. Yeah, I was using every day, but it was soooo little (probably not even .1g everyday), that after only a month of use, the w/ds weren't severe. After I stopped the tar every day for that month, I did go back to using OCs somewhat occasionally - maybe like 3 out of 4 weekends per month - so only 6-10 days a month, and never for too many days in a row so as not to get physcially/mentally/COMPLETELY addicted. I did that for about next 13-14 months until it finally happened...I moved back to tar and got hooked - ultimately as a result of a broken heart. We begin using the drug because it feels good and numbs/helps us. And at first, it sure worked well. I wouldn't feel so hurt and was able to numb my self from sadness and thinking bad/emotional/hurtful thoughts.

    But anyways, that's now the past, and I've moved on...but that's what happened to me and nobody is going to be able to quit until they're ready. And for me, fortunately, using wasn't working with me anymore. It was having an opposite effect, it was making everything in my life worse, and so that has made quitting this time (my FINAL time quitting) that much easier. In the past when trying to quit, I had never been successful, because I never wanted it like I do this time...and I didn't know it until this time, but right away, I knew that this time was it, and my positivity (which is weirding me out a little...haha) is helping tremendously.

    Despite the fact that I've been so positive and determined in this first half of a month since quitting, I still made the decision to start seeing a therapist or the first time in my life and have my second session this week. (One of the therapist's specialties is treating drug addicts). It definitely felt good to speak with someone and I'm pretty sure I'll continue to see a therapist for a while why I really get to the root of all my problems and learn everything about why I used, and how I can make sure to make the decision to never use again.

    And I'm definitely going to sign up for a gym membership this week, because I used to go and I do need to repair my body from being an inactive, lazy, addict for the past couple years. Plus, when I went in the past, it helped me feel better both physically an mentally (confidence). And I've gotta start looking good for the ladies now that I actually have a sex drive again! My gosh, it's amazing how much being an opiate addict supresses/eliminates your sex drive...that junk messes up EVERY-F'N-THING up in your body. It's kind of amazing to me how powerful that **** is...it really is.

    Well, another day just about down, and another day that's 100x better than the best day I had addicted to heroin/opiates in the past year. I only took about 1.5mg of sub and am still feeling totally fine. So that's 2 days in a row at 1.5mg and I haven't noticed any difference. In fact, in terms of how I've been feeling, I really don't think I've noticed any difference between how I've been feeling on the sub since I first started. I think I've done such a gradual job of decreasing my dose the past 17 days that 1.5mgs today felt no different than the 4-5mgs I took for the first few days. In fact, I think I'm finally starting to fall asleep a little easier too. Getting off the sub is going to be tough, but I'm confident in my ability to get through that once it begins within the next couple weeks. Well, I'm starving and it's time for me to make something to eat. Oh, another thing, I'm eating SOOOO much better since quitting. It's wonderfully amazing. Food has been soooo good. Toward the end of my addiction, I was completely full eating 1.5-2 meals a day. Now, I'm hungry for like 3-4 meals a day, which is a great thing because I could afford to put on at least 20 lbs. Seriously. I was getting pretty thin at the end of my addiction. It's so great eating so much again. This has definitely been one of the more positive effects (for me) since quitting.

    Oh, and lastly, Annie, I can't believe I didn't say it above, but congrats to your son for getting to where he is. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you and him when he was deep in his addiction, so that's so awesome to hear how far you've come and to see where you two are at now. I can only imagine that things will continue to remain good and get better for both of you as you get to experience a sober son, and he continues to experience a sober life!
     
  5. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    In case anyone's curious, I'm still doing pretty damn well. I've taken less than 2mg of suboxone each day for the last 4 days, and I'm going to try to get off by next weekend...but I'm going to play it by ear and maybe do the one day on, one day off. then two days off. then three days off...and then done. We'll see where I'm at when getting down under 1mg per day.

    One thing I've noticed this week that has been kind of annoying is that I wake up after 5 hours of sleep and am wide awake. I haven't been able to fall asleep before 12am-1am, and the last 3 mornings I've been up within 10-15 minutes of 6 o'clock and am wide awake. I don't need to really get up for work until close to 8, so that's annoying, but nobody ever said this was going to be easy...and I'm aware of that. Not to mention, I've also noticed a bit of a decrease in my energy level for the past few days, which is certainly understandable considering I've been taking a pretty low dose of sub and I'm probably starting to feel more and more of it exit my system as my dosage dwindles down.

    18 days down / the rest of life to go...
     
  6. befree

    befree Well-Known Member

    Good work NMO, keep at it !

    For me sleep depravation is something that i have learned to accept ! Part of the price to be payed, to get that normal life back that you and i also crave...


    I also figure that i will have plenty of time, with the rest of my normal life to catch up what im not getting now !


    So dont let "no sleep" to grow into a monster in your head, and then be an excuse for the easy way out !


    Keep the faith !!!!
     
  7. Friend2U

    Friend2U Well-Known Member

    Hi No More Opiates
    I care & good for you!!! Sounds like you have a good plan for tapering/stopping the subs. Playing it by ear is the best way. Sounds like you have come a long way & should be proud of what you have accomplished!
    R
     
  8. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    I still haven't used, and have been taking less than 1mg of suboxone for the past 3-4 days and will be coming up on a month clean about this time next week. I'm still doing fairly well, but I'm definitely not feeling as awesome as I was during that first week or two - which is certainly understandable. During that first week to two weeks, I was feeling like I was on top of the world because I had finally stopped my disgusting habit and was very proud of myself. That itself, kind of gave me a natural high...or maybe the 4mgs of sub that I stabilized on at the beginning were bringing out those excessively positive thoughts I've expressed in previous posts.

    Now that some time has gone by, I'm still proud of how far I've come, but I'm not feeling as great. Maybe it's the lack of sleep I've been getting that has been slowly wearing me down. Prior to, and when I was using, I was averaging about 8 hours of sleep per night. Now, I'm very lucky if I get a full 6 hours. I'd say I've been averaging about 5 hours per night for the last 3 weeks and I think it's starting to get to me. I know that it will get better, but it's probably going to get a little worse when I stop the subs completely, before it gets better. I started taking some melatonin at night starting two nights ago, and I didn't notice any sleep improvement either night. I'll keep trying because I've read some very positive things about its effects.

    I'm still trying to figure out how to handle my suboxone usage situation. As I said above, I'm under 1mg per day, and I've been speaking with a therapist about this, and she really seems to think that I should stay on it at a low dose until I've built up a better recovery plan and some more coping mechanisms before trying to get off of it. I, on the other hand, feel like my recovery will never reach the next level until I quit the sub completely. Am I just being an impatient addict...who wants what they want, and want it now? Should I maybe slow down and stay on the subs at this same low dose (approx .5mg) for another few weeks to get some more "not using" time under my belt? I obviously don't want to stop the subs if quitting sub leads me back to using. I feel like I'm thinking clearly enough at this point to stop the sub and continue to abstain, but I did have a few really strong cravings over the weekend, so I'm really confused. I obviously resisted those urges/cravings and haven't noticed them so much either yesterday or today, but I was very tempted Saturday evening. I'll just keep playing it by ear, I suppose...

    So, that's where I'm at.
     
  9. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    the longer you stay on subs....the harder it will be to come off them. That's my experience.
    I only stayed on sub for 19 days (and jumped head first into a recovery program)....I didn't wanna trade one addiction for an even worst one.

    giving up suboxone doesn't mean you're gonna use...only if you believe it to be so. Sub is a great detox tool, but if used as a 'sobriety crutch'....well, doesn't work out so well. cravings are simply thoughts....thoughts which possess NO power unless we act on them. every newly clean (completely opiate-free) addict thinks about drugs....cause that's what we do....doesn't mean we have to act on them. cravings (like all thoughts) pass. they come...and they go. its just that simple.

    if you truly wanna live up to your screen name....dump the subs sooner than later. No more opiates means....no more opiates. sub IS an opiate....and a wicked one at that.

    peace
    janice
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2010
  10. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your input, Janice/Sluggo. I agree with you about the No More Opiates part. That's why my original plan has been to use suboxone for approximately one month for two reasons:
    1. I've tried to detox cold turkey and I couldn't even last 24 hours. Seriously, puking is the first symptom that comes on for me, and it starts around hours 15-20, and I've never been able to handle it. I needed the sub for help with my detox, because I couldn't handle it otherwise. I'm confident that, while the sub withdrawals will be difficult, it won't be nearly as difficult as cold turkey, especially since I've been slowly working my way down from approximately 5mg induction, 4mg 1st week stabilization, and now down to about .5-.75mg for the last few days.
    2. I needed some time to get out of the habits of using, and all the behaviors/rituals (whatever the F you want to call it) that surround using. I mean, when I was still using, I was wondering how I was going to make it through a single evening without my god damn f'n roll of tin foil and rock of tar. But you know what, I haven't used in over three weeks, and it certainly hasn't been as difficult as I imagined it was going to be when I was still using. When in active addiction, it's really amazing how much that addictive voice in your head can totally trick/overtake/demolish whatever thoughts it wants to.

    With all that said, part of me wants to trust this therapist as she has a lot of experience treating addicts. The other part of me wants to be like my screen name, and be completely done with this. I'm not questioning her knowledge on the subject, I just know that nobody knows me better than I know myself, and if I'm going to make it, I really don't feel like quitting the sub now or staying on it for two more months is going to make a difference. I don't see that many changes taking place in the next couple months where I'm going to benefit from staying on it. I've always been wanting to be on it as short of time as possible. I dunno...maybe I'm being stubborn.

    Well, although I've been questioning which approach to take, I've always felt like I've wanted it to be one month and done for me, and I'm determined to really get myself completely clean. Dependent on NOTHING. So I think I'm just about done with the sub. I may try jumping later this week, like take about .5 tomorrow and .25 Thursday and then be done. I have to work Friday, but have nothing really planned for the weekend, and I know that day 3 without sub is when it's the worst? Is that right? So Sunday would be the worst...and if Monday is really bad too, then I can call out of work. And then hopefully I'd be well enough to work Tuesday? I think I'm ready to do this...I hope it's not too hard for me. I can handle not feeling too well, what I couldn't handle is violently puking my guts out. I pray that it won't be anything like that.

    I'll keep y'all posted.
     
  11. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    my history is with sub is quite similar to yours. I was inducted and never took more than 2.5mgs for the first few days, dropped down to 2 on day 3 and kept dropping till I jumped at .25 mgs 19 days later. I felt crappy for a week or so...mild anxiety, lethargy and emotional mess....but that's about as bad as it got. It didn't really hit me till day 3 or 4, and was kinda a rollercoaster ride for a week or so. I'd have a good day, then not. it wasn't a linear process.

    I've been through the hell of CT heroin w/ds. this pales in comparison. You've made a smart choice....now follow through.....jump in the next week or so. go down to .25 for a couple of days, then start skipping days. you're lucky....you should be fine.

    peace
    janice

    edit: i haven't shot heroin in 20 years....doesn't mean I'm 20 years clean.
     
  12. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your input and words of encouragement, Janice. Here I am, awake way earlier than I want to be. I've been up for two hours already, and was hoping I would wake up an hour from now. I'm just going to go into work an hour early, I think...instead of laying in bed and trying to fall back asleep - which I did for a good hour and a half after waking up. But damn, it really annoys me waking up way earlier than I want to be. I think I just need to start going to bed later. I'd rather sleep from 1:30am-6:30 or 7, instead of midnight to 5 or 5:30am. I just don't like being up this early. Grrrrr!

    Also, thanks for reassuring me that this should pale in comparison to CT W/Ds. Anxiety, lethargy and a being a bit emotional is something I can handle - especially since I don't have too many other pressing issues troubling my life, other than this addiction I'm trying to rid myself of. So, I guess I might as well take a little sub and start my day. I only have the 8mg pills, so it's really hard to measure out 1/32nd of a pill accurately to only take .25mg, but I do have a few small crumbs accumulated and I'm estimating the dose I just put under my tongue is probably somewhere between .2 -.3/.4. It would be nice to have the 2mg pills to split into quarters, but I unfortunately don't have that luxury.
     
  13. 212d

    212d Well-Known Member

    Yo Yo....Glad to see your still off the Heroin....No matter what anyone tells you its a Big Victory, Subs or not...Dont let people hate, and dont rush til your 95% ready!
    (you're never quite a 100% are u????)...Different Strokes for Different Folks....True, if you stay on a low dose of subs you will become addicted to the bupe, however if you can get your life back on track while on it, than who is anybody to judge! Just don't go tapdancing from 1 to the other like i did, cause than they will 100% turn into a crutch!...I took subs for like 7 years, but also shot heroin for those same 7 years...So, I have a great deal of experience coming off subs and many times, as well as using them to come off heroin...and vice a versa...and ill say this though many people WILL DISAGREE...And nobody complain about this please --- I've also used a little H 1 day and 1 day only to get me through the worst part of the sub w/d....NOW THIS CAN BE TOTALLY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE I know...blah blah..., HOWEVER I JUMPED FROM 2MG THIS x, AND DIDNT REALLY HAVE an option on the jump sched......I just couldn't handle the third day off...I'm not advising this at all because it can be super dangerous, but we live dangerously on drugs everday, at least i did.. I'M Just giving my experience, and I got through it that way!..If u can jump from a lower dose than you'll be okay and have no need to take drastic measures like this....you'll prob just have extreme lethargy the 1st week, nothing like full fledged heroin withdrawal, but still uncomfortable...I also have done the taper thing....You MUST be Mentally Ready to stop the subs first or its a losing battle my friend....THINGS are way different off them, than on them, even at a small dose....Don't mean to scare you, but its the truth..At least for the first few months...If you finally do decide ur ready to taper --- Physically, days 3-5 are the worst (I thought), because of that long half-life, and the already built up subs in your system pouring out....I would request off of work @ least on them days...But if your one of those people where work helps you, or u don't have the luxury 2, than thats cool too...I'm such a baby when detoxing that I can barely get out of bed for a week....And after like 8-10 days off the subs, those mental games and anxeity creep back in..Again I think, WAS it really that bad? My addiction screams @ me to get some instant gratification!...It happens EVERY time for me..U gotta tell it too f*** off and its very hard...HOLD ON here....The first week off is the easy part, BELIEVE me....Its the 2nd thru 3rd week thats the doozy.....And don't feel bad because i still get cravings on the weekends as well, because thats when i partied most...They go away quicker if you don't sit in and mull over them by yourself...USE the phone, not the heroin! it helps alot!...;)

    Be Proud of Yourself for staying off that damn Heroin, its a Monster,small dose of subs or Not.....! Keep me posted....I just went through all this crap after new years again and am still clean, So if u need anything or your wondering what MY Symptoms were and at what time frame, Holler at me.....:D
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2010
  14. befree

    befree Well-Known Member

    Imo i think that useing Heroin to help with subs withdrawl, is playing russian roulette with your detox and recovery ! esp if Herion is your doc , but glad it has worked for you tho 212d !
     
  15. 212d

    212d Well-Known Member

    Yeah you're right....But so is putting a needle in your arm every day right ??? The 2nd day off the H was a little bad, but not as bad as third day off the subs, i was dying....than after the 3rd day about 7 days off the sub and a couple off that little dope day....I've been cruising since....thanks though.....appreciate it, and it was quite stupid, risking going back to the heroin, but most stuff i do probably is....!;)
     
  16. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I know 212d was just sharing his experience, and not recommending it. But I have zero plans to use no matter how crappy I'm feeling. I know for a fact that I am not able to use just once...no way. So no dope for me, and as long as the symptoms aren't too horrible for me, and as long as I'm not puking my guts out, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. I haven't felt bad at any time over the past 24 or so days when I've worked my way down from 4mgs during the first week on subs, and now 3 1/2 weeks later, I'm down to .25 or so - which is what I took today. I'm only estimating because I'm working with the 8mg pills, but the past three days have been approx .5mg, .5mg, .25mg. And about 8 or 9 days ago, I was stable at 1mg or so. So I'm hoping that I've been doing this properly allowing my landing to be as smooth as hopefully possible.

    And thank you 212d for your post and info. I understood you weren't suggesting that, and I appreciate you sharing your experience. And thanks for the positive thoughts. I know that 24 days off H is definitely something to be very proud of...and I am. I feel like I'm ready to try to rid my body of all opiates.

    Oh, one last question, what about the skipping days thing? Is that generally the best practice? Like getting down to about .25mgs, and then skipping one day, and then taking .25 the next day. Then skipping two days, take .25mg again, and then no more? Or is it probably the same just going from .25mg to nothing...no skipping days? I'm inclined to just go for it.
     
  17. TheBat

    TheBat New Member

    Yea those subs can be rough. I started snorting 10mg of oxy a day and a bag of dope on the weekend to deal with a broken heart and a dui. I got on the subs but they were just a crutch. I used them for about 9 months and tried quitting many times. It was almost a week until I'd start to feel better, then I'd be somewhere and one of my using friends would show up and start talking about drugs and throwing me deals to drive him to pick some up. I failed every time. Something always came along and made it more difficult for me. I would use, then feel crappy the next day, then start subs again. The longest I've been clean in a year and a half is two weeks. For the past two months I've been using heroin almost every other day and tapering it down. Its a mess. Heck I don't even care about the high or rush, just calming my mind down.

    I have a hard enough time keeping my own mind off of it, I'm almost doomed when someone else starts talking about it or starts pushing it onto me. I now know I'm weak in this area and if I want to stop using, I need to stay away from people that use. Its that simple but so hard when some are my best friends.

    You gotta know your weaknesses and have a plan of attack. Have to get out of a situation before a situation starts sometimes.

    Getting off suboxone was a real ***** for me and I found that the best way was to taper it down every 4 or 5 days until I was just taking dust. Its a mental addiction as well. Staying busy and exercise is key.
     
  18. 212d

    212d Well-Known Member

    Yeah welcome....I actually hear that smoking tar, statistically is harder to stop than IV'ing H....not to dash ur hope at all I was just saying, they are both damn near impossible....Never seen tar up here on the east coast.....But enough of that crap, as for skipping days after the .25mg....you can, but in your case, if your mentally ready, just go for it....the side effects won't be much different at all, if any.....Try and get some CLONIDINE if you can get it prescribed to u....IT HELPED ME alot....Lots of fluids, vitamins, fruit, you know healthy shi*... I would just jump off the subs, the longer you dose, the longer you'll drag the withdrawl out for sure....SEEK some sort of outside help...I know that I am, I have been going to meetings and a Cognitive Behavior Therapist to help changed my warped thinking....Because that's whats distorted, MY THINKING...DRUGS or NOT....Let me know how you make out...I wish u the best man.....I know the feeling, you just want to be off everything...I commend that....just know the first 3 weeks off will be tough....1st week physical, next 2 weeks, mental....But hell, if I can get through it anyone can....I was on a death wish run from Thanksgiving to New Years....:D
     
  19. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I have an extremely hard time believing that smoking tar is harder to quit than putting a needle into your arm. While I've obviously gotten high many times, I can't imagine that the effects of smoking tar are anywhere near the rush one receives when shooting the junk. If you could provide a link to some sort of documentation that supports that, I'd be very curious to read about it. Regardless, quitting dope is f'n very hard, no matter how you take the drug.

    Well, guess what everyone, I slept for like 7-8 hours last night. This was absolutely amazing! This is, by far, the longest night sleep I've had in over 3 weeks. It was awesome waking up right at about 7am, instead of 5 or 6am. Plus, I was defininitely out by midnight. I'm not going to make this a habit, but I took 1mg of Xanax before bed, and man that helped. I'm not going to do this every night from now on because I obviously don't want to develop a dependency for it, but when I'm starting to get restless after not sleeping well for a 5-6 days in a row, then I'll allow myself to take Xanax once in a while to get some much needed full-night's rest.

    As far as today is concerned, I'm still deciding what to do...take another .25mg or try to not take anything? Hmmm....
     
  20. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm at work now (on my iPhone because I'm afraid to go to a heroin detox site from work) and I decided to not dose this morning. Last dose was about .25mg 26 hours ago. And damn, I'm feeling extemely lethargic right now. It's manageable because I sit at a desk all day, but yeah, this is going to be a long day/week!
     

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