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Over two weeks off tar!

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by NoMoreOpiates, Feb 7, 2010.

  1. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Today wasn't too bad, but I definitely didn't have the most productive day at work. But I made it through just fine. I felt a little nauseous a couple times, but had some pepto and that seemed to help...and I'm not certain that was even due to no subs, because I still haven't taken any since about 36 hours ago, and I'm feeling alright now. Perhaps the bowl of herb I smoked after work helped ;)

    Other than that, I felt a little lethargic this morning, but after some coffee, tea, taking some Emergen-C, and eating a bagel, I felt a lot better. Definitely sneezed a bunch, felt like I had to stretch a bit, and my eyes were tearing a little bit. Mentally, even though I haven't taken sub in 36 hours, my cravings aren't bad, actually. Maybe because I was fairly occupied at work...but I'm sure they'll get worse as my body complete gets rid of the sub, but I've got a choice, and all I have to do at this point is just choose to not use. Sounds much easier said than done.

    I think I'm going to try to not take any sub again tomorrow, but I'm going to play it by ear. If I'm feeling like I'm going to have trouble getting through work, then I may take .25mg, but if I can handle it, I'm going to keep going for it. That will put days 3 and 4 on Saturday and Sunday (when I don't work), and if I still am not doing well on day 5, I'll call out of work on Monday. Hopefully by day 6 I'll be well enough to resume work and life...without a single f'n opiate in my system!
     
  2. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Right this minute:
    - 26 days since last smoking heroin
    - 2 days (pretty much 48 hours exactly) since my last .25 mg of sub

    It's weird, I'm feeling better this morning (right now) than I was yesterday morning (my first day without sub).

    I'm going to be strong...I'm going to do this!! I read a "power of the mind" sticky last night about someone who got off subs and said that it wasn't that bad...I'm confident to be this guy too.

    Even with no sub dose yesterday or this morning, my cravings are not bad. I wonder how much sub really alleviates cravings when taking such a small dose (like I had been for the week prior to stopping). I'm not discounting the possibility that the next few days might be an emotional rollercoaster. But damn, it feels good to not have to take anything today...or yesterday!!!

    I know that days 3-4 are "supposedly" the worst off sub, but if I'm not feeling well this weekend, I can just lay around and take it like a man. I do have a few xanax and valium to help get me through the weekend, but people, please don't worry about me developing any dependency for those drugs. They never made me feel 1/100th as good as I felt using H, so I really don't fear me developing a dependency...but if I need to take some to get me through these hardest days, you can be damn sure that I'm going to...and I'm going to f'n do this. No skipping days days like I was pondering before. I've jumped and I'm committed. 48 (actually like 49 now) hours since sub and there is NO TURNING BACK!! This is it!

    Here's to DAY NUMBER 2!!

    Have a good day everyone!
     
  3. kunzite52

    kunzite52 Well-Known Member

    It will be fine NMO! Please do not be afraid of coming off the sub ok? You have the counselor and that is awesome, so is the gym. Fill your weekend time up too. Fill up all your time with clean and sober activities, boredom is your enemy, isolation is your enemy. Just know that and have faith and do not let fear stand in your way.

    After all, if you have not experienced any type of failure, then you would not have the means towards changing for the better.
    In terms of conquering this type of fear, it is important that you learn how to confront and overcome them. Or else, you could end up repeating the same mistake or worse that your fear of failure could prevent you from following your goals.
    Also, just because we learn from our mistakes is no reason to repeat the same mistakes over and over!


    Ah yes wise words!
    Love annie
     
  4. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Hi Annie - Thanks for your post. And the more time goes on, the better I've been feeling. It has now been almost 2 1/2 days since my last .25mg of sub and I've noticed absolutely zero difference in how I've been feeling between the .5mg I took on Monday and the 0.0mg I took today :). I'm wondering if this is more mental than anything and my positive attitude is helping. It's really cool to know that I haven't ingested any sort of opiate in two days and I'm totally okay. It's kind of weirding me out...I was in a very good mood all day at work and was a lot more productive than yesterday.

    Appetite was fine, energy was fine, everything was fine, except I did sneeze about 60 times today...so far.. No joke. I started counting this morning and lost count around 20 something before lunchtime. I was sneezing so much that one of my friendly co-workers commented on it in a joking manner. Haha.

    Alright, here's to hoping and willing that the supposed day 3 won't be nearly like what people say it is. In fact, I know it won't be. I'm feeling BETTER today than yesterday, and I'm praying that that trend will continue tomorrow!
     
  5. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Good Morning. DAY 3 OFF SUB BEGINS!! (It has been about 74 hours since my last .25mg of sub).

    Getting into bed last night caused my legs to ache quite a bit, and I felt just a small bit of anxiety. Not bad anxiety, just a little. So I took a 10mg Valium (which I was going to take anyways for sleep) as well as a 10mg pill of Cyclobenzaprine (aka Flexeril - a muscle relaxer). After about hours of sleeping I did wake up right in the middle of the night and took about .5mgs of xanax, smoked some herb, and felt back asleep until almost 8 am this morning. I probably got about a good 8 or 9 hours of sleep last night - twice my average in the weeks leading up to this.

    I'm feeling a little lack of energy and a bit of drowsiness now - likely attributable to the pills I took last night. Whenever I've taken a 10mg Cyclobenzaprine in the past, it has provided this same drowsy-like feellng in the morning right now. But whatever, I'm cool just chillin' out right now and watching some TV...but damn I'm hungry. I wake up STARVING every morning...which is great because I have been eating soooooooo much better since quitting tar 27 days ago. I'm actually hungry 3-4 times a day, instead of one to two.

    Here's to be convinced that the "dreaded days 3 & 4" won't be anything difficult. Feeling pretty damn alright right now!!
     
  6. kunzite52

    kunzite52 Well-Known Member

    Living up to your name I see! Soon the sleep will return. Be patient, remember to be patient, it is one thing we lose in addiction is patience, heck even the enabler loses patience! But I am telling you patience returns. Do patience exercises, as I refer to them. One is walking, another is reading. Both require that you stay in the moment, which is being patient.

    Remove toxic negative energy from your life and, as one person wrote (Ann on another site)
    Instead, take the opportunity to rise to a higher level of peacefulness and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice and strengthen your patience.


    Understand that sleep will come my friend, it will. Normal sleep, just like normal eating has returned. Takes the body awhile to adjust to this new thing, patience, but it does, chemically, biologically, physically, mentally and spiritually.

    The difference in how I treat my animals from the days back when I was young and foolish shows I have gained patience. A pet is like an emotional barometer. If you are inpatient then the dog reflects that, if you are calm and patient, then the dog responds in kind.

    So today perhaps a walk and tonight perhaps a good book. What do you think my friend?
    And good for you on three days, may the body and mind soon catch up with your dreams!
    Always,
    annie
     
  7. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Again, thanks for you post and saying stuff that really gets me thinking, Annie. I appreciate your posts.

    So yeah, I don't know what's going on here, but when's this bad 3rd day stuff supposed to start? Cause it sure as hell ain't happening with me.

    Some coffee, food (including fruit), strong anti-oxidant tea, and some vitamins, and I'm feeling pretty alright, I must say. Oh yeah, and smoking a little weed...I'm kind of a pot-head, but it certainly serves some medicinal purposes. Definitely a little lethargic, but nothing unmanagable. Also, still sneezing a TON ;)

    No more opiates!

    P.S. Cravings still aren't strong...getting weirded out :p
     
  8. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    I'm confused? Almost 3 1/2 days since my last .25mg. Still totally fine. In fact, I'm so fine that I'm about to head out for some physical activity.
     
  9. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Up a little early today. Today begins the 4th full day off sub. Day 3 was not bad at all. People say days 3-4 are the worst and I'm totally confused. Day 3 (yesterday) wasn't bad at all...and today (day 4), I feel fine.

    I'm starting to think that if you taper properly (like I believe I did), then you can dismiss day 3 & 4 as being the hardest. I think it's a myth that's in some people's heads.

    Yay for me.

    28 days since last using Heroin
    4 days since last dosing suboxone
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2010
  10. befree

    befree Well-Known Member

    Congrats Nomoreopiates your doing a fantastic job of getting clean !


    And i agree with your above post about it being easier than you thought it would be, with a good plan and a strong mindset of wanting your life back !








    .
     
  11. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    absolutely....Yay for you.

    but, don't dismiss the experience of others as a 'myth' in their heads just because that wasn't YOUR experience.

    peace
    j
     
  12. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Thanks befree. Just ate a nice breakfast and am feeling a-ok! And what I've found to be very strange is that I feel pretty much exactly the same as I did a little over a week or so ago when I was on .75mg-1mg of sub. Basically, I'm not noticing much difference from a low dose to nothing.

    I mean, is it possible for some people to not experience anything but extremely mild Sub withdrawals? Especially when using it for not too long (3 1/2 weeks for me) and having a good taper schedule? Because I'm convinced that's what's happening to me because I thinking I tapered properly and didn't take it for too long.

    DAY 4 COMPLETELY OPIATE FREE!
     
  13. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member


    Totally, Sluggo. I don't doubt that depending on length of use and strength of dose, suboxone can certainly produce those uncomfortable sub withdrawals in some.

    For me, I guess I'm saying that Suboxone is absolutely an amazing drug WHEN USED PROPERLY - which from what I've read is a short-term aid in detox...which is how I used it.

    Of course, we're all in different situations and have varying levels of addiction. But for me, this has, so far, worked like a charm! Thank you SUBOXONE!
     
  14. befree

    befree Well-Known Member

    I dont think either of us were being dismissive sluggo, but i have had the same experience of NMO's ! And i am at the opposite end of the spectrum being on sub for 3 years !


    I also agree that the wd's (besides the sleep part) have been the same for me (maybe a little more noticeable) as what they where when i was on 1.8, and i was on that for 3 or more months !



    Lucky you say !... maybe ! ..... But i also believe in making your own luck ! .... not being dismissive of others that have been to hell withdrawing from sub's at all !.... But i do believe that with a correct tapering plan ! you listening to your body, exercise, support, nutrition, and a single minded mindset, you can turn tapering and jumping from a horrendous exp, into a manageable exp !



    But in saying that after you have been threw a $1000 dollar a week H addiction Wd's .... Most things in life (pain and Wd"s wise), pale into insignificance !! Imho !






    ..
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2010
  15. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Here I am, 4 days and about 5 hours since my last Sub dose and am still doing completely fine. Just was out for an hour or so running some errands. Probably going to clean my appartment a little this afternoon.

    I am soooo happy that so far, this has been as painless as I had dreamed of. Thank you suboxone!!! When used properly and with good will power and DETERMINATION, I'm going to have to argue that this really is a miracle drug.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2010
  16. 212d

    212d Well-Known Member

    Yo man....I haven't been on in a couple days...but im still trudging on clean....my days have been getting better along with my sleep....and when i feel like crap i talk to people about it and feel better...Im proud of you that you have now jumped and its awesome that you're not going through too much....ITS true that Suboxone is a miracle drug if used right...I THINK THE LESS U USE IT the BETTER IT WORKS....anyways -- I never could find any research so far to support that comment about the smoking tar being a harder habit too kick than IV'ing statistically....I'm not sure where or how I heard it...TV or rehab...but from other sites and from people that have done both...they have said that they thought they had to smoke more tar to get the desired effect of IV ing #4 powder gram for gram...and maybe because of this it had more cut in it, and their body struggled too recover slower...also they said the smoking tar produced a longer w/d process, so the longer the w/d process the more chance of relapses occurring....i don't know, I'm grasping at straws here...? Interesting to look at, however both nearly impossible too quit....Anyway, I gotta go...I just wanted to pop in and tell you congratulations....Peace...:D
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2010
  17. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    end of day 4, still good.
     
  18. Sluggo

    Sluggo Well-Known Member

    fantastic.

    I used sub in the same manner as you, short-term low-dose detox...and, it worked for me as well. however, after I jumped (at .25mg), it was a strange roller-coaster for me. never felt acute w/ds at all, but one day I'd feel great and think it was done...then next day i'd feel kinda crappy again...it was like that for me. it wasn't as linear a process as when I jumped c/t off dope.

    i totally agree that sub is a great tool if used with caution.

    so....how you gonna stay clean?

    peace
    janice
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2010
  19. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Here I am: day 5 off sub and day 29 off heroin.

    The day is starting a little earlier than I had hoped, but my sleeping is getting better. I think I'm now averaging close to 6 hours, instead of about 4 hours during the first few weeks on sub. At least I slept past 6am, but I was up for a good hour or so in the middle of the night. But hey, who cares, it's day 5 off sub and I'm totally fine right now. Maybe a little lethargy, but once I get moving I don't think I'll feel so tired. I don't think these sub WDs are really going to effect me. If they were, I think I'd be feeling them by now since it has been 5 full days since my last .25mg of sub last Wednesday morning at pretty much this time (5days X 24hous = 120 hours off sub). Pretty much most, if not all, has got to be out of my system at this point.

    I signed up for a gym membership yesterday and am going to start my gym "habit" today. Hopefully I'll be able to get addicted to my gym "habit" as strongly as I was addicted to my dope habit. I could benefit from that happening due to all the damage I've been doing to my body - TIME TO REvERSE THAT!

    Well everyone, have a great day. Might as well shower and get my day started and maybe get into work a little early.

    I'm doing this. Wednesday will be ONE MONTH off Heroin - Wednesday will also be ONE WEEK off sub!!! Wednesday is a milestone. It's going to be a good week!

    P.S. No bad cravings this weekend even without taking any sub. I'm really starting to fully understand and believe that using will not do anything positive for my life. Yes, I might feel good for an hour or two, but after thinking and knowing all the negative things it did to me, IT IS SO CLEAR that these negatives OVERWHELMINGLY outweigh any positives that I'd experience from using...so that has helped. If I ever get a craving, I just think of the pros vs cons of using, and there are always 10x as many cons as pros. Now that I have a clear head, I have to continue to think clearly about not using...which can be done since my addiction has finally been put to rest at the moment...hopefully permanently!
     
  20. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Ha...we posted at pretty much the same time. I don't know why it hasn't been a roller-coaster for me and has been more linear. Maybe part of it is due to length of use - I was only fully addicted for a year and a half. But honestly, so far, the worst day off sub was actually the first day. Felt better the second day (Friday), went out and played in my sports league on my third day (Saturday), and was fine relaxing and running some errands on day four (yesterday). And today, I'm definitely not feeling any worse than yesterday, so yeah, this is very linear to me.

    As far as how I'm going to stay clean? I'm really going to get into my gym habit (1-2 hours/day) and I work full-time, so that will keep me pretty busy most of the day during the week. And also, I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life...and have my fourth appointment with her in a couple days. And I'M THINKING CLEARLY. I now have a choice...I can now choose not to use. Before, while addicted, I didn't feel like I had this choice, but I do now...and I'm going to make good decisions. Of course, things are changing for the better in my life, so I'm confident in my ability to continue on this path that I've started; but when something troubling or bad happens in my life, that will be the true test. I will continue to see my therapist to work on building coping mechanisms so that when something bad does happen, I have alternate ways of managing it...instead of using.

    Sluggo, thanks for continuing to post in here and for expressing concern/interest in how I'm doing. It means a lot to see people reply and show some interest in how I'm doing. It helps to know that some of you care...so THANKS! Have a good one!!
     

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