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Over two weeks off tar!

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by NoMoreOpiates, Feb 7, 2010.

  1. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Woo hoo...my blood pressure is back to normal 105/72. I was just at the grocery store and checked it twice while I was there. I'm going to make sure to check it next week because I checked it 6 days ago and it was 136/88 (or somewhere around that). When I was at the Dr a few weeks ago which initially brought this to my attention, I think my blood pressure was around 168/110...or something close to that. But that was also 9 days after stopping suboxone and I was experiencing a horrible cold and fever which likely attributed to that.

    But anyways, I think time off ALL opiates (including sub) and me starting to exercise regularly has helped bring it back to normal levels. It's something I'll keep an eye on, for sure, but I'm glad that it's back to normal now that I'm almost a month off suboxone.

  2. kunzite52

    kunzite52 Well-Known Member

    Oh my I just read that and thought you were giving this girl a ring! I did not realize you meant on the phone, I was shocked!
    You know what they always told my son in rehab and sober living? No relationships until you are one year drug free. Remember you are just getting to know you again, and putting someone else in the mix might just be hard. At least be brutally honest with her about what is going on, otherwise you will have to lie, and as you know honesty is key to getting help and staying in recovery. Dishonesty goes hand in hand with addiction.
    I am SO GLAD about the yoga. I just do it randomly when I feel a kink in my neck or if my dad has asked 100 too many questions. It brings me right out of my anxiety. We never think about things like, am I standing up straight? Are my shoulders level? Am I slouching? Am I holding my neck straight? Yoga taught me that I slouched all the time, and it forced me to recognize when I was slouching and correct it. Recently I realized when I was walking I was hunching up my back. I relaxed my shoulders and what a relief. So now I consciously say to myself, SHOULDERS BACK, RELAX YOUR NECK.
    The other thing yoga helps me with is my breathing. I used it a lot when I got panic attacks after I got such bad asthma. The fear of losing my breath would make me lose my breath. Now I can say to myself, relax your breathing, in and out...
    When I climbed some pretty hefty hills today, as usual I got to the top and had practically no breath at all. But now, with practice I raise my arms over my head (expanding my lungs) and breathe in and out slowly until I regain it. Such simple stuff and I never realized how much it affected me.
    Your attitude sounds so good. Socializing is a really good thing. You know drugs are all about this deceit/isolation/hiding everything. Socializing is actually the direct opposite of all that and I am really happy to see you doing it. Make friends with others who also work on recovery, it helps a lot to hold you accountable and to have someone you can just call when you are having a bad day, I mean someone who "gets it".
    As you know I have been with you since you came on here, and now if you go back and read your first posts you will see the difference this time has made. Every single day know that every moment of your day has to be about recovery first.
    In part, that is why I would love to see you get honest with this girl if you have any intent with her at all. You have to tell her that recovery is THE most important thing in your life. You do not want anyone to jeopardize, even without knowing it, your clean time. NO ONE.
    Well that said my friend,
    I am going to put my feet up.
    Wonderful hike to day, the brooks are roaring like mighty rivers from all the rain.
    Love annie
    GOOD WORK my friend!
  3. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Hahah Annie...LOL. As you realized, I was just giving her a "phone call". I barely know the girl...I'm definitely not giving her a wedding ring. :D

    But anyways, I do have a date lined up for later this week. We had a pretty good conversation over the phone. And I've heard what they say in AA about no relationships for a year, but my honest feeling about that is that I'm now 51 days (past midnight now) off my drug of choice and I've been doing damn well working my own program. So I think what's best for me is to continue doing what I've been doing, and going out with a girl will be enjoyable and I don't see anything negative about it. Sure, if we end up dating for a while and things don't work out, yeah, I might be upset, but I know what doesn't work as a coping mechanism for break-ups, and that's heroin. And I know that because that's what ultimately got me hooked when my habit got really bad. Anyways, been there, done that, not going back no matter what. So yeah, I'm just going to go by what feels right because that's what has been workign for me so far. And so far, so good.

    And, as far as being honest with her, if we get into anything serious, I would definitely tell her. But in the beginning dating stage, I'm definitely not going to disclose that. I don't want to be judged for what's now a past dependency. I'd like her (or anyone) to get to know me for who I am and not judge/dismiss me for learning that I'm a recovering addict before getting to know me. And I don't feel like I'd have to lie because there are a few things that I'm doing differently as a recovering addict:
    1) I'm not using H
    2) I'm working out regularly
    3) I'm seeing a therapist once a week for 1 hour

    1 & 2 don't need to be lied about. And it's not like I'd offer that I'm seeing a therapist, but it's not like I'd be involved with anyone who probes me about where I'm at for an hour a week if it were to come up. So, I think I'm all good.

    "You know drugs are all about this deceit/isolation/hiding everything. Socializing is actually the direct opposite of all that and I am really happy to see you doing it."

    This is totally true. I became extremely isolated and was hiding everything during the late stages of my addiction. I didn't want to do anything except be at home by myself using. So yes, it is great to go out and be social again. Thank you. And thank you for your posts as always.

    It's about time I try to head to bed...
  4. Trigger

    Trigger Well-Known Member

    hello NMO.

    i've been following your thread for some time now, and i gotta say-- 51 days is ****ing rad!!

    tar is a *****. i'm a slave to the same thing. right now, i have 21... make that 22 (it's after midnight) days clean. for me, it's been a rollercoaster ride.

    hey look, i think casual dating is cool. another thing we have in common is that my habit also escalated because of relationship difficulties. i think the key thing is-- avoid drama. also, avoid hurting this woman because it's bad karma. i think AA stresses avoiding relationships because of emotional bs... any sort of stress, leads to using. try to nurture instead of destroy. one of my friends said that having a pet, or taking care of a plant is a good exercise.

    listen to sluggo... she's like yoda. you don't need to build up meditation (or prayer) as this great important thing that needs a class or a ceremony. i'm a total novice, but i adopted a simple ritual that is sooooo helpful. it's just a breathing meditation. i can post simple instructions on yer thread, if yer interested.

    finally... you have to remember, if you can kick dope, you can do anything. i remind myself of this all the time. what is your wildest dream? i'm working on a painting and playing bass in a rock band. when you stop spending your time isolating, drugging and all that... then this door opens up and a whole new life begins.

    congratulations-- you are free!!!!!!
  5. befree

    befree Well-Known Member

    Conrats on your progress NMO !

    And congrats also for the dating thing, we need to keep our dirty water level low :eek: ;):D

    There is plenty of time to explain the trials and tribulations of your life of addiction later on when more comfortable, but i think its very important to be honest and straight up if you have Hep c or Hiv or any STD's before it gets to any intimate stage !

    But goodluck we will all be rooting for ya :eek: (pardon the pun)

  6. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Well, I was coming in here today to let you all know that today is DAY 60 off Heroin for me (day 36 off Suboxone). Two months...hell yeah! I'm still doing well...sleep still sucks...but that's the only PAWS I'm experiencing. I'm going to the gym, staying busy, and life is unquestionably better now that I'm no longer depending on that disgusting drug.

    Trigger & Befree - Thanks for you posts...and befree, thanks for the concern. I've never been an IV user so I'm not afraid that I've got any STDs. I practice safe sex (even though it's been a year since I've gotten laid) and have been tested. Anyways, I ended up not really liking the girl. She just wasn't my type...so it never even got that far.

    And hopefulinic - there are ways to get better without needing an inpatient re-hab, and there are ways to detox without experiencing horrendous withdrawals - and that's suboxone. I used Suboxone for 24 days as a bridge from my addiction to sobriety...it allowed me to get out of the habit of using ever day and it greatly reduced my withdrawal symptoms. However, suboxone is not a good maintenance drug...no way. If your son tries Suboxone, it should be for 30 days or less. As far as other drug use, I'm almost 30. I've experimented and recreationally used a lot of drugs since I was 18. None of these drugs have ever caused me a problem - except Opiates (Heroin). So I still occassionally drink, I smoke weed a lot, and I'll probably occassionally do coke or ecstasy, and maybe hallucinogens once or twice a year. Occassionally using those drugs for several years never did 1/100th of the damage that using Heroin did. So honestly, I don't feel I'm at risk for becoming addicted to those other drugs, and I therefore feel it's okay to use them recreationally. Some people don't agree with this...but everyone is different. And different things work for different people. So far, I'd say that what I'm doing is working pretty damn well because I'm 60 days clean from H today! Yay!

    Alright, if you have more questions, I'd be happy to help, but I've got to get my butt out the door to work. Have a great day everyone.

    (sorry for typos - I typed this way too quickly and can't proof it)
  7. NoMoreOpiates

    NoMoreOpiates Well-Known Member

    Just checkin' in to let you all know that I'm doing well and my life is pretty much back to normal...except my sleeping. I only get about 6 hours a night, but it doesn't bother me anymore.

    So anyways, it's now about 100 days (not sure of the exact number) since quitting tar....and about two weeks from 3 months clean from all opiates (specifically the suboxone). :)

    I hope everyone is doing well.
  8. mahituna

    mahituna Member

    Rooting for ya Bud, It's been a long time but I hope you stayed the course and good things came your way.
  9. Chasin' it

    Chasin' it Well-Known Member

    How are ya doing? Great thread, very inspirational. Check in if ya drop by. Hope all is still great in your world.

    Chasin it

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