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Problemone is on the way!

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Pain Meds' started by Apheana, Jan 12, 2004.

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  1. Apheana

    Apheana Guest

    Hello! I hope you do not mind I started a new thread so that it will be easier to find you. I always forget where you are on here. I hope you keep us all posted on how you are. I am really happy for you and soon if not already your life is going to be renewed! :)

    ***Live, Laugh and Love***
     
  2. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    Thanks Apheana, today is a bitch though. I woke up and took half a pill 4mg, went to work and I feel like I would feel alot better if I would have taken the whole thing. My heart is racing, but I am not sick. I go back to doc this afternoon and talk to him. I am going to ask him to check my blood pressure cause it was real high last time. I am also going to tell him that I realized that I am bored and not too happy unless I am high and that is going to be the hardest thing to fight. The sub. is still a miracle drug. I haven't taken a lortab since Thurs.
     
  3. Apheana

    Apheana Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling of being bored and missing my "high". That is the longest and hardest part of the battle and the reason I went and started a maintenance program. I was trying desperately to get off the Sub but changed my mind. I also started to feel a high at about 2mgs. I have not told my doc about that though. I know the bored feeling. I used to be amused sitting on the couch and now that only makes me deppressed. Its hard but the best medicine is to try and find new things to fill your time. Then there is that never satisfied feelingand realizing it will all pass but it takes time. The hardest part is over and that is breaking away from the pills. They become your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time. I used to say this that drugs arent a problem until they are all gone. Well, now they are all gone and the only problem I have left is me. When you get that bored feeling remember your freedom. If you keep using you will never be free, you will always be looking for that next fix. And also remember all that you have invested into this. And again I cant stress enough that I know exactly how you feel. I think that boredom feeling lasted at least for the first couple weeks and I think that killed me more than cravings the first time (only time) I realapsed. I still feel it and sometimes I will cry because I lost my best friend. Also, I never really knew how much it hurt to pluck my eyebrows or to have to deal with a real headache. It does get easier I promise you that but you have to patient (i know that is not easy):( I know I am rambling here but the sun will shine again. :)

    ***Live, Laugh and Love***
     
  4. pinkie

    pinkie Well-Known Member

    Eyebrows, try leg/bikini. I haven't done it myself since clean. Another superpower layed to waste. Oh well.

    Prob. I can't help but always hear major anxiety in your posts. If I'm right, it seems like something you really need to tackle. There is lot's of cognitive help for people who have anxiety/obsessive compulsive disorders, and it can actually work if you practice. We all have some anxiety and some obsessive tendencies, but when they get out of hand, they can really color everything you do. There are some simple steps you can take to help re-train your brain towards more rational, less anxiety provoking thought. If you are interested, let me know and I can point you in the direction of some help.

    Here's an idea for the boredom you guys, or at least an idea that's working for me. I've taken up a musical instrument. I haven't played anything since I was a kid. It's the kind of thing that you can really pour your obsessive nature into. You can even teach yourself with books and videos. I can spend hours (much to my bf's dismay) sitting playing the same song over and over. And guess what! After a while, I actually learn how to play them right! So this old dog is determined to learn at least a few more new tricks. Maybe there's something similar you guys can think of that would get you're motor running.

    I have to warn you though, the one real down side of learning an instrument as an adult is that you end up with these inane beginner songs running through your head all the time. Mighty annoying, and a side effect I hadn't thought of when started learning.

    Something else I'm working on... I have this secret list of things I've always wanted to try. In my twenties, I was too cool to try them, in my 30's, too high, and now, in my 40's, I'm writing them down and plan to attack each one as it comes. I'm slowly coming to terms with each one, geeky as they maybe, and plan to do all the weird things I've ever thought of with the help of my sobriety. Do you guys have any secret interests? Things you've never thought possible for one reason or another? Here's a great opportunity to make all your dreams come true.

    Pink and furry
     
  5. cgdg

    cgdg Well-Known Member

    "Leg/bikini?"

    Try nose hairs. ;) Really brings a tear to yer eye...so I'm told. :D

    Heart racing...try asking yer doc about Clonidine too. Saved my ass. -So did the Buprenorphine...and I was taking Oxycontin.

    "Clean" is an amazing thing....
     
  6. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    I have to drive 45 minutes to get to the doc, so I went and was in his waiting room an hour, going crazy. I have been on the edge all day anyway and I told them I had to go and reschedule, she said no stay it would just be a few more minutes and about that time he walked out. I told him I had been miserable all day and having aches and he took my blood pressure, way high again. I told him that I had only taken half that morning and was determined to do just as he said and take no more. He explained that he didn't think I had enough in my body yet to get stable because cutting in half, I shouldn't be that miserable. He told me stay on whole pill for another week and gave me a script for blood pressure. I am kind of worried that I might end up addicted to this now, cause I am not getting off of it quick enough. I did sleep last night almost a whole night. He had also prescribed Seroquel for night. Does any one else take that? I did alot better this weekend than I did today. I felt like I just lost it today. He also explained that most addicts overdo most all things they do. I over stress alot, point me to where help is. I am just now settling down. Trying to breathe deep and calm down. I told him that I wasn't happy unless I was high and he said we were going to work on that, I didn't ask how, I just had to get out of there. I think I kind of had a panic attack and then driving home, endless. I am going to be better tomm. I already feel like I have accomplished a major step by getting to where I am know, just a minor set back today. This board helps me alot, thanks all. I am following through with this just not as quick as I thought.
     
  7. cgdg

    cgdg Well-Known Member

    The blood pressure meds will help immensely, they *can* tire you out tho, so take it slow...don't sweat the time on the Sub...I was on for 33 days, then walked off w/nary a problem.

    Compared to turkeying...it was a breeze.

    Let your body tell you how much Sub you need...& how much you can cut your dose each day; remember...if you feel bad, you can always add to your dose and you'll feel better w/i 40 minutes.

    LISTEN to your body...it's the best barometer...you'll do fine!
     
  8. Apheana

    Apheana Well-Known Member

    I have a friend on Serequel, it is an anti-psychotic. Dont get scared though docs use anti-psychs a lot when people are detoxing to help stabalize their moods. It should tire you out and zonk you at night so that you can sleep. And do not worry so much about becoming hooked on the Sub, I have a feeling your doc is not going to let that happen and you right now are still stablaizing so that is the last thing you want to worry about. I would get worried if in 2 months your doc still wants you to take 16mgs or something. But taking 8 right now is a good thing because the whole point of this is not to suffer. I know when I first started going through what you are going through I became very anxious and obbsesive about things like cleaning and stuff. I had a hard time sitting still at all unless I crashed out to go to sleep. It is all normal but keep in mind not at all healthy. when your dose is right your body will feel so much better and your days will get easier. Hang in there!

    ***Live, Laugh and Love***
     
  9. Apheana

    Apheana Well-Known Member

    Prob- I hope that you are doing ok at this point. Just checking in to see how things are going. Im sending you some positive energy and I really do hope that you are feeling better!!! :D

    ***Live, Laugh and Love***
     
  10. Rodrigo

    Rodrigo Well-Known Member

    I just learned of Serequel today, tho I have heard of it before... It is not only an anti-psychotic, but also an anti-d, so it sounds like a hell of a combination for someone who is battling addiction (good combination that is).
     
  11. Rohan

    Rohan Well-Known Member

    Prob, I think you are doing a great job! Of course you will have hard days! The important thing is how you handle them. You can say with confidence that you can handle them the right way. It may not be super easy, but it is something that you can totally handle. With each step, you will gain more confidence. At least now you know that you can handle the bad days, right?

    As apheana said, don't worry yourself about getting hooked on the suboxone. You won't. You have a team looking out for that. Believe me, the last thing your doctor wants is for you to go back to square one. You are NOT going to get hooked by doing what you are doing, hell, you are barely keeping yourself out of w/d's! You are going to be fine!
    Keep your stregenth up and believe in yourself, we all do.:)
     
  12. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    Another rough day, I called the doctor and told him that I didn't take the Wellbutrin today and it helped. He said it sounds like it overstimulated me. ok, so now he told me to try half again tomm. But I am able to work and maintain, so I guess it is alright, just miserable and feel like coming out of my skin. Thanks all
     
  13. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    I just wanted to add, so I don't sound all bad, that I am sleepin at night, almost all nights because of the serquol.
     
  14. Apheana

    Apheana Well-Known Member

    I am really glad that you are doing better. This fight is not an easy one I know but it does help to have support. This site has been so helpful to me while going through this and trying to clean up the messes I made while I was using. The messes were mostly financial and that is starting to look a little better.

    I still have some other drug issues that I must work on and get some real life support for. I keep putting it off but I really need to go to AA. In my area the AA groups are less scary to attend then the NA ones. They are usually in high crime areas. I guess it is ligit for me to go to AA because I use to cross addict or drink heavily when I was coming off binges. [xx(] I have still had some tendencys to dabble with the coke; maybe a couple times a month. Not to the degree I was before I gave up pills but in any degree it is bad and my self control is not what I need it to be. I wish I had better control because spending money on it is a bad thing and the feelings of guilt that follow are not pleasant either.

    ***Live, Laugh and Love***
     
  15. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    I only took 1/4 pill today cause I as so anxious and jumpy and heart racing. I found a valium today and took half and it has helped tremendously. I think I am having such a hard time with this cause I was addicted to GHB for 3 years and just got off that in July. Getting off G made me feel anxious for about 2 weeks. I know alot of you here may have never heard of GHB, but they compare the withdrawels to heroin. I kicked that on my own and suffered for three days. But I traded addcitons to lortab. I think my nervous system is screwed up. The doc says that opiates also seem to stimulate me. I don't know. I miss getting high. But I don't miss the constantly looking for it. I knew I wasn't ready to suffer again kicking the lortab thats why I got on suboxone. It has been really good in the sense where I have been able to work and maintain while doing this. I couldn't have done it any other way. I am trying to keep posting until I get off this completely and then I can be of some support to someone else here.
     
  16. Jessie

    Jessie Well-Known Member

    Prob....I've been reading your posts and I had to say something about that last statement you made...Don't you realize that just by posting your everyday expeiriences you ALREADY are helping many many people-some that probably just read here...It helps so much to hear about someone who may be experiencing the same thing or in my case to read about things that may/or may not happen when I begin my Suboxone next month...So hang in there, you're doing great..We're all very proud of you...:)
     
  17. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    Thanks for that, I guess that is a good reason to keep writing, so everyone can go through my experience that is going to go this route.
    Let me sum it up.
    9 days on suboxone.
    Thurs-Sunday- Really easy on me, I was amazed 1 8mg pill a day
    Monday had problems, took half in morn and half that afternoon. Thought my problems were not taking enough but I think it had more to do with the Wellbutrin I was prescribed.
    Tues. went back to whole pill and really nervous that day
    Wed. took whole pill but didnt take Wellbutrin
    Thurs. Half pill
    Friday 1/4 pill
    Saturday-today NONE- Feel better today than I have in along time besides sore throat and bored.
    This week was kind of rough working during the day cause I deal with public and I was very nervous. Finding valium and taking half one I think it was Thurs night and Friday night has helped alot. Don't know if I was supposed to do that or not. What has helped the most is that I take 50 mg of Serquoel a night. I sleep all night (mostly). As long as I get my sleep, I do alright also gave me something to look forward too each day, knowing I was going to be able to sleep at night. I don't know if I am going to take a 1/4 of pill tomm or not, just depends on how I feel. I figure if I dont then by Monday Morning all this opiates should be out of my system. Would that be right? IF that is true then I amazed on how well this pill has worked. I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT COLD TURKEY. I did not have it in me at this time to do that. Everyone is right about Detoxing is the easiest part with Sub., It is the staying clean that is going to be my longest battle. Everytime I put my hand in my pocket, I feel around for a pill cause I always kept them near. Bad habits die hard.
     
  18. Rodrigo

    Rodrigo Well-Known Member

    Wow... I had some of my absolute *worst* headaches that came from *taking* OC's especially, but sometimes even w/hydros. Wellbutrin is great, but once again, no drug is a cure-all. I am beginning to be a bit uncertain about it also. I am taking it right now to quit smoking cigarettes. I ran out of Wellbutrin on Saturday. I didn't take any yesterday because I didn't have time to pick up my script. As soon as I started taking it again this morning, the sh!tz started... I was cool all day yesterday and even this morning until I took the wb... Has anyone else had *this* experience?[}:)]
     
  19. problemone

    problemone Active Member

    I quit taking the wellbutrin last week cause I had one hell of a headace and nervous as hell. I started feeling better 2 days after not taking it, by the third day I was alot better. I didn't take any suboxone all weekend and took 2 mg this morning. I realized, I don't need it. It took makes me nervous and wired feeling. I was better this weekend without everything except I still take the serquoel. I look forward to that because I sleep all night mostly and it is suppose to help with depression too. So I am not going to take any sub. tomm. I just get bored and kind of miserable cause I am not doing anything to get high.
     
  20. Apheana

    Apheana Well-Known Member

    I miss being high so much too I think thats why I am so depressed. I used to wait tables and I ALWAYS had pills in my pouch. It made me feel like me for so long that the person I am now is not who I am used to. Dont beat yourself up. (Someone gave that advice to me so its my turn to share it). No matter how we detox or stay clean its the point that we are doing it. So if you dont keep taking the Sub thats ok. I cant take anti-D's have had side effects mostly the anxiety thing from almost all of them. Paxil being the worst. I cant sleep after about a week of taking them. I guess I have to get used to the new me. I have no sense of humor, I am not fun anymore. I never feel content. I cannot wait to be normal again!

    ***Live, Laugh and Love***
     
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