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Tennager heroin addict here. Looking for support.

Discussion in 'Heroin ~ Addiction and Recovery' started by QueenOfTheBay, Oct 5, 2015.

  1. QueenOfTheBay

    QueenOfTheBay New Member

    Hi, I'm a teenage girl from California whos deep in heroin use and I'm now trying to get 100% clean and sober. I started doing drugs when I was twelve, and 13 was when I started using heroin. I'm almost eighteen now. I've tried to quit about a thousand times. I've gone cold turkey, I've done suboxone. I've overdosed several times. I've spent nights on the streets and really been to hell and back. I relapsed some time ago and since then I've been shooting up every day and using some pills and speed. I had a really bad night last night, and I had a bit of a revelation and I know now that I absolutely need to take my life back!! My best friend is sober now, too, and I want to do this for her. And for myself.

    I'm terrified. I haven't done any drugs today at all, and I don't want to go back. Withdrawal symptoms are starting to set in. I just don't kn ow where to begin. I've built so much of who I am around drinking and using. I cannot go to rehab. But I really want to take control over my life. I guess I'm just looking for advice, or instructions. i don't know. What do i do now?
     
  2. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Welcome to ODR Queen. You are at be right place. The first step is don't use no mater what! It will be hard and you will be sick, but when you think about how sick you already are even while using, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. I'm back to work now, will check in later. You can do this!!
     
  3. peacenik

    peacenik Administrator

    Hi Queen, OK it sounds as if you have gone through some tough stuff. In a way that's good because usually we don't quit until it gets to be too painful to continue. And sometimes people don't live long enough.
    I can tell you this - no matter how hopeless you feel, you can do this. You need to put staying clean above everything else. Stay clean, deal with life without a drug, and in time it won't seem so weird, and won't be that hard to do.

    I know, I was a heroin addict. I was in terrible shape so I went on methadone. But all that did was make my addiction that much worse, I would take pills and drink and shoot cocaine on top of everything. And one day I went to a hospital and quit. It was very hard but I made it and have been clean and sober now for 27 years. So I know if I made it, you can.

    Our board has gone through some changes recently and I think the thread I was going to recommend you read is not there right now. I'll look into it and see if it can be fixed, but in the meantime, hang in there. Do whatever it takes
    Dave
     
  4. QueenOfTheBay

    QueenOfTheBay New Member

    Thanks you guys! It means a lot. I'm trying to keep my mood positive even with withdrawals.
     
  5. spring

    spring Administrator

    Am just now seeing this and I hope you've been back around the board since your last posts. So many people come thru while in the midst of withdrawal then they give in and disappear.
    Sounds like you're ready but you really need some sort of support to do this, especially considering you dont have a point of reference to compare your pre-addict days with how you are now. What I mean is that for some..thinking back on life before addiction, when the days were happier, gives them something to try to get back to. But you basically started when you were still a child so this is going to be a whole new way of life for you as an adult. And that can be a good thing! You have your whole life ahead of you. You have the power to make it a good life or not from here on.

    But you have to have someone helping you in the beginning. How bout NA or AA to find someone in the group you can relate to, someone who has been thru it, who will help guide you? It's a good place to start.

    This board is great also for support and encouragement and guidance but you also need someone in 3D life.

    You said "I've built so much of who I am around drinking and using". It's not really "who" you are but it is "how you live". You cant really truly know who you are until the influence of all mood altering chemicals have been removed.

    Do you mind if I ask why you say you cant go to rehab? I mean, do you have a job? or kids? What's your reason? I'm not judging you, not a bit! Me and everybody else here has been in your spot in one way or another. I'm just curious as to whats stopping you from rehab? It would be a great way to put a barrier between you and the dope. That's what I always needed. As much as I wanted to get clean, I could never do it on my own. I would always go back to the drug for relief when the withdrawals got too tough. The more time you have away from the drug, the better your chance of not going back to it.
    And not only did the rehab give me some breathing space, I also learned what to do after getting clean. That is the harder part imo..staying clean. I'm not saying it's impossible but it can be hard to do if we're not properly prepared for the cravings and urges that will hit for a time after getting clean.

    Please check in?
     

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