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This is my first post on this site

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Pain Meds' started by vincek333, Jan 6, 2004.

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  1. vincek333

    vincek333 Guest

    I am new to all of this. Ive never spoke openly about my drug use before so I hope you can all be patiente with me. Well id like to start by giving the basics about myself. I started useing perscription pain killers in my sophomore year of highschool which was in 1998 I was 15. Ive continued using untill presnet day now being 21, with no signs of slowing down. Any time i try to slow or stop my use I am confronted with awful withdrawal symptoms which I cannot handle so therfore I continue useing, which has become an endless cycle. It has come to consume my life. When I first took perscription painkillers i started with percocet, but since then my useing has esculated to include any and all oxycodone based pills including but not limited to percs, hydros, vikes, oxycotin, and in the last few months heroin as well. My use of heroin is sparatic due to the fact that it makes me nodd out which i dont care for but i do use it as a filler when i cannot find pills. I believe the reason i took a liking to painkillers in the first place was due to me being able to sustain a satisfying "buzz" without anyone else knowing, also i can still function with a clear mind while on them. What i mean is that i get a great feeling from them with out losing any of my motorskills and still have a clear mind, well clear from my point of view. They also make it easier to tolerate everday life and stress untill i start coming down that is then i become easily agrevated. But i think now what i need to know is there are other people out there similar to myself in this aspect. I thank everybody or anybody that has took the time to read this and hope that someone will reply because i think the first step for me is just to start talking about my addiction. Once again thank you, just finding this website has brightend my outlook on this topic in my life. "Vincek333" Mike
     
  2. ak

    ak Well-Known Member

    Hey Mike and welcome to the forum. There are a lot of well schooled (lol) people on this board who will help you out with any questions that you might have. I was in the same boat as you up untilk recently when I tried to kick cold yurkey from all kinds of opiates. I went 17 days and caved in. From finding this message board I became familiar with Suboxone which I am now taking. It is a wonder drug if you are tryiing or willing to detox. Please read any or all posts about this drug and I am sure you will find more thasn enough info to start you on the way. All the best, Andy
     
  3. pinkie

    pinkie Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you're ready to start thinking about how you want to spend the rest of your life. I think most of us who are infatuated with opiates feel somehow more functional on them. But time to concentrate on the down side. What difference does it make if you are more functional if you spend all your time functioning to get high.

    Anyway, welcome, post as much as you need, and read all you can about Buprenorphine (aka Suboxone, Subutex)
     
  4. Rodrigo

    Rodrigo Well-Known Member

    Yes, I was in your shoes, but without the H. I am currently 16 days w/o any opiates... I was taking up to 20-30 10mg hydrocodones per day if I had that many. Unfortunately, if I didn't have any, I was extremely sick. I detoxed by taking extra Immodium (4-5 2mg pills twice daily), which curbed most all withdrawl symptoms. I was able to work, eat, sleep, etc. with no problem at all. I agree that taking opiates eases the problems faced in everyday life, but the drawback is the life of addiction. Eventually, your brain stops producing natural "feel good" chemicals, so you feel like crap if you aren't using, and also you must take more to reach that same effect. When you stop feeling "good" on something and you only feel "normal" while using (without excess), obviously there is a problem. Many people use opiates because they are depressed or have anxiety problems. There are other things out there that can work -- anti-d's, anxiety meds, or even herbal solutions. So far, I miss *nothing* because the "buzz" stopped being what it used to be anyway... The crazy thing about quitting something is that you *almost always* dream about it at a later date. My dream the other nite consisted of me taking a Vicodin, and going into the bathroom and puking it up before it could have any effect.
     
  5. vincek333

    vincek333 New Member

    Thank you very much for replying(everyone)
    Ive tried quitting through different means such as stepping down and reducing my doses and have also tried quitting cold turkey niether one worked for me I think because i didnt want to do it for myself but more for my girlfriend who was pushing me twords quitting the only way i was able to stop for any signifigant period of time was to go cross country on a road trip for three months with one of my good friends the first two weeks were hell but i help ease my withdrawl by drinking excessivly for those two weeks after that all physical withdrawl symptoms were gone and i actually felt the best i had in years but all i could think about was pills pills pills and as soon as i returned home from my trip i got right back into the swing of things, so to speak but that trip helped me realize alot of things like i still can feel good without pain killers also it made me realize how deep i was actually in. what i mean is i realized it was cheaper to go on a 3 month vaction than it was to stay home and support my drug habit...i thank you for your advice and i am definetly going to look further into Suboxone which i have never heard of before and am curious about what it actually is...thank you for your time and most of all listening....Mike "vincek333"
     
  6. vincek333

    vincek333 New Member

    thank you for replying
    you are very right and you hit the nail on the head that is exactally what i do spend/waste my time and money trying to stay high just so i can function...its just so hard...with out pain killers i am not worth a damn thing, what im trying to say is that without them i cannot even get out of bed so instead i just try to sleep through it and I waste days doing that i wont get up for anything, except, when the call comes in that there are some pills around then i go running out the door like the house is on fire i just wish i could feel that enthusiasm for something else ...anything...and i am definetly going to look into Suboxone being that this forum was the first time i have ever heard anything about it at all....thank you very much for listening and taking your time to help a complete stranger...Mike "vincek333"
     
  7. vincek333

    vincek333 New Member

    thank you also for replying...its nice to know people care and are trying to help me with my problem...i used to be in the same situation of taking between 20 and 30, 10mg'ers a day but recently(about the last 6 months) i have been able to tone it down to being happy with 10 to 15 a day you also hit the nail on the head about the buzz going away and just taking them to feel normal the only time i actually feel high is when i first wake up i swallow 3 or 4 and catch a buzz for about 3 hours then i spend the rest of the day chasing that buzz by taking 2 or 3 every couple hours untill about 3 hours before i plan on sleeping then i stop and switch over to smoking pot in an attempt to gain an appetite and sedate myself in order to try to sleep. If i dont stop taking them a couple hours before i go to sleep they keep my up all night... i dont even like smoking pot because it makes me feel lazy and worthless but i find its the only way to actually get myeslf to eat and begin to feel tired...you were also correct about dreams i have experienced the same kind of "pills dreams" anytime i have tried quitting or go without...its scary that the addiction is so strong it even haunts me in my dreams...i have also triend anti-d's and anxiety meds with awful mental effects they really screw with my brain and make me feel like i am going out of my mind they make me feel like the world is against me and like everyone is watching me or something to that effect, plain and simply they make me feel like i am losing what sanity i have left...thank you for taking your time to listen and reply it means alot to me...really!....Mike "vincek333"
     
  8. sleepless

    sleepless Well-Known Member

    Hi Mike, welcome to the forum :) ...Boy oh boy you sound a lot like me as far as taking pills to get the almighty *BUZZ* effect from them...My addiction was/is mental and I miss the buzz from them, it's like a life long friend has passed away and left me lonely and empty inside sometimes...It's so strange that a person can have a love/hate relationship with a chemical huh? When you really realize that you have a problem with a drug then you find yourself standing at a great cross road in your life and you need to make a choice, a choice that will effect the way you live the rest of your life..It sounds like to me that you are looking into a better, brighter future for yourself and I think that is just awesome...Know one thing for sure and that is that you are by far alone in this struggle with good vs evil, there are SO many people in the world (the best here on this forum ;) ) fighting the good fight each and everyday to get their act back together and start life anew...Lots of us don't have the freedom in our day to day life to talk about our problem so we come here for support, and there are lots here that have wonderful support places other than this forum, but this forum (as you will find if you have'nt already) is a GREAT *before, durning, & after* tool to help you...Looking for help you have came to the best starting point, ask some questions, look around, and do a lot of reading, I'm sure that there is not 1 question you could ask that can't be answered by someone here nor is there anything you could do that atlest 1 of us have'nt already done...Please stick around with us and keep us all posted...We are all from many different walks of life here, BUT we share *2* common interest, seeing folks get clean and staying clean...A plug for one person here is a plug for us ALL, just 1 success story gives us ALL hope and encouragement that we CAN make it through another day without drugs :)

    Take Care & God Bless :)
     
  9. new

    new Active Member

    Hi Everyone, It just amazes me the number of people posting about pill addiction. I am an old hardcore heroin addict and ex methadone addict too. Although the pills you guys are talking about are opiates at least their better than being strung out on heroin. You guys are so lucky and smart to not have gotton into using IV drugs. I have a prescription of percocets that my dentist gave me but they just don't do anything for me. I am so used to the rush of heroin or speedballs,(heroin and cocaine)I haven't used heroin in over a year and am so proud of myself. I hadn't even thought about cravings till I started reading these posts. I used to have dreams about using but I always awoke right before I got high When you guys took the oxycontin did you guys catch a nod and all the other feel good traits of heroin. Just curious. I used to enjoy the rush from heroin and cocaine I thought that had to be the best feeling in the world but after over 20 yrs of using I finally hit rock bottom. I can't even count the number of rehabs or the number of 21 day methadone detoxes. Then I tried methadone maintenance I was on it twice once for 1yr and a1/2 and the last time I had been on it for two yrs. I don't think there is anything worse in this world than kicking methadone cold turkey. I did that the first time I was on MMT before there was Buprenorphine. For me this stuff is a miracle drug. I made the transition from methadone to Suboxone on 06/14/2003. My script is for 8mg and I always took half but am now down to taking 1/4 every other day.This is the closest thing to feeling normal that I have experienced in years. I am so grateful. Is there anyone here that has got completely off Suboxone relapsed and got back on the program. I used to see that all the time at the methadone clinic. Wish all you folks the best of luck.Oh yeah I almost forgot thanks Pinkie for reminding me about the cravings. Later.....Robert
     
  10. sunshine

    sunshine Well-Known Member

    NEw, I have used H and oxys and in my opinion the oxys are worse than H to get off. The detox is longer and more mental. H it seems only takes me three days or so but oxys are much longer. More like a week. I did oxys for three years and then H for the last year until dec 15th I started Sub and I am doing great! Oxys are a tuff kick and you do get the nods and some of the same affects as h.
     
  11. Jessie

    Jessie Well-Known Member

    Welcome Mike....This is a great place to get started...Like yourself, up until a month or so ago, I had never spoke openly about my drug use. That is until I found this site [^]...My story is quite similiar to yours, although my Oxy's & Roxicodone are prescribed to me now...I am due to start my Suboxone treatment next month...If i were you, I would really look under the Bup section of this forum there is a lot of information there...
    Like Sleep had said, everyone here is great and very informative..As you read you will find that there is at least one or more people who have been in the same situation as yourself (ourselves ;))....Best of luck to you, hope you stick around and keep us informed of how things are going for you.
     
  12. Rodrigo

    Rodrigo Well-Known Member

    new, H is a semi-synthetic opioid derived from Morphine. The "codones" are semi-synthetic opioids derived from thebaine, an alkaloid in the opium poppy that acts as both a depressant *and* a stimulant. In other words, oxys and hydros are almost like a coke/heroin speedball. Unless you take enough for the depressant effects to overpower the stimulant effects, which kinda have a "bell curve", you do not "nod" on the "codones", rather wake up. I also believe that the closer you get to the naturally occurring opioid alkaloids, the less addictive it is. I know it's a pretty simple process from Morphine to H, but hydro is first hydrogenated, forming l-dihydrocodeine, then oxidized, forming l-dihydrocodeinone, or hydrocodone. 2 steps away compared to 1. Most people find H much easier to kick than the codones.
     
  13. spring

    spring Administrator

    Hi Mike,
    What you described is the same reason that kept me on heroin for so long. It made me feel "normal" for the first time in my life. It cured my depression. It cleared my mind. It helped me to better focus and create. It did all that UNTIL it turned on me after a few years. If it hasn't turned on you yet, it will eventually.

    I liked what Pinkie said...."What difference does it make if you are more functional if you spend all your time functioning to get high". And that is exactly what I did for over 20 years.

    You're young and if you do it now and do it right you won't be posting here month after month, year after year with the same ol story. Take it from me and the other long-timers....if you continue to use your life will just fly by. One morning you'll wake up on your 40th birthday and wonder where your life went.

    ~~~Do the right thing and risk the consequences~~~Spring~~~
     
  14. gratefulgreg

    gratefulgreg Well-Known Member

    Sunshine, thanks for saying what I just figured out. W/d from oxys is a long haul. I was hoping for relief on day 5, but felt none. On day 7, I started getting better and was able to work. Before that, work would have impossible. I'm on day 10 and still feel some arm and leg aches, but everything is slowly getting better. Eating and sleeping are returning finally. I thought using some klonopins and xanaxes last month might have prolonged the w/d, but now I think oxys do have a very long w/d and yes, it is very tough mentally. Thankfully I stayed with it and plan to keep on going. To the question about oxys making you nod-sure they do, if you do enough. I've never done H so I can't compare them, but I've been told that the high is very similar when you crush the pills and snort or inject them. Freaking oxy dealer at work said he was going to shake a pill bottle in front of me and I wouldn't be able to resist. F#%k that, I think I'll tell him to bring me 10 40's and then tell him I was just joking. He's just jealous because he had to get on methadone to get off oxys. I know relapse will be a constant threat, but right now I'm on a steady course away from oxycontin. Gotta keep it going.
     
  15. sleepless

    sleepless Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to add my 2 cents worth here if ya'll don't mind...About the nodding thing, Yep, Greg was right if you use a high enough dose you sure will nod...I got this effect when I bumped myself up to just about 3 1/2 5/500 Lortabs, sounds strange but it is true...The nodding comes right after the strong buzz, is H the same way.?...Anyways, I always hated to nodding part, one time I was driving all 3 of my kids home when I nodded...Yeah it scared the ever lovin' sh*t outta me [:0]
    Greg, I'm so glad you are off the Oxy's and everything is slowly but surely returning to normal for you my friend...Hang in there, you are i the home stretch now...
    Jessie, hey there chickie :D ...Are you getting jazzed about starting sub next month.? I'm rooting for you girlfriend, you're gonna come through with flying colors :)

    Take Care & God Bless :)
     
  16. Rodrigo

    Rodrigo Well-Known Member

    I'm assuming that by "nodding", you are talking about "nodding out", ie sleeping... As I said in my previous post, I agree w/Greg and everyone else... You *can* nod on codones if you take enough for its depressant effects to outweigh the stimulant effects of thebaine.
     
  17. Jessie

    Jessie Well-Known Member

    Hey there Sleep...How have you been??? Hope your holidays were great...Sorry to everyone that I haven't been around much lately..:(...Lots of family business going on....
    As far as getting started, YES I'm ready - wish it were sooner, but given the pain I'm in...I guess it will be best to wait...Sometimes I do get a lil freaked out, wondering if I can REALLY do this, but not too often...Beware, I will be here EVERYDAY when I get started...haha...Thank you soooo very much for your words of encouragement...It means alot...Like I've said, no one really knows the severity of my problem...Most think I'm just physically dependant and this whole Suboxone thing will be a walk in the park for me....lil do they know..[:0]....Take Care ....I don't get much time on the puter these days...but I'll pop in when I can...
     
  18. KAB

    KAB Member

    I am trying to detox from oxycontin. Personally I think the high from oxy is much better than H. I love the buzz, but don't we all love the buzz from whatever it is we are addicted to. I would love more than anything to wake up and no ever have known about oxy. Anyone out there who has not taken oxy do not ever, I tell everyone I know this. It is the worst detox. I would give anything to be done. I have tried so many times but I always go back. Any info I am open ears. By the way congrats to greg keep it up
     
  19. Rodrigo

    Rodrigo Well-Known Member

    I've done oxy... Snorted like 3 oxy 80's at once before... It is a terrible w/d, but hydrocodone/vicodin is hardly any better.
     
  20. pam

    pam Member

    Rodrigo, when you talk about using ammodium for withdrawal, do you mean the anti diarria med?
     
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