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Waking Up. Please Read.

Discussion in 'General' started by anonym0us, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. anonym0us

    anonym0us New Member

    For those of you about to read this; please keep in mind that I realize this is lengthy but that I tried to only include what I felt what was needed to give you all the best insight of what I have experienced. The dream corresponds to my real life more and more as the dream goes on, and many of the beginning scenes are just more examples of the experience/insight I had to give you every example possible. Every single word of this is 100% truth. I was so shocked by this dream that I felt the need to write this report the second I woke up in fear of forgetting parts, however I will note that by the end of me writing this report, every single scene is still burned into my memory; almost as if I felt I was meant to remember it. This report is directed toward anyone interested in dreams, and/or anyone who has ever had an addiction to anything. I do not go into great detail about the aspects of my addiction, however I give enough information to be able to follow the story. I hope you enjoy. Thankyou.

    This is about the most realistic dream that I have ever had, without doubt. I could give background information as to why this is the most realistic dream I have ever had; however I would rather explain the reality of every scene and aspect as I explain it in sequence, because of the fact that nearly every single part of this dream has real life interpretations, in my opinion anyway. Although some minor and some major, the correspondences of this dream to real circumstances occur so often that it inspired me to write this.

    It began with me having to go from my dads house back to my mother’s to work for a week, and then the plan was that I would return. ***This is our first reality, as I have just moved in with my dad from my mother’s house about 2 weeks ago. The dream began with me receiving my paycheck, as I have no recollection of actually working in the dream. However I have a subtle feeling I received a check from a pizza shop that I indeed worked at while living at my mother’s two weeks ago.

    The next thing I remember is walking with my cousin down 5th street in my mother’s hometown, a street I know particularly well in real life. My cousin sells marijuana in real life, and I barely remember us speaking of how “hot” he was; aka how close he was to getting caught or how much attention he had gained from the police. ***Something that in real life, my aunt; his mother had tried to lie to him about and say that the alley which he sold out of behind his house, was being watched. In real life she tried to do this to scare him into stopping. The next thing I remember is walking by a telephone on a table on the sidewalk of 5th street, right next to the house of my old hometown opiate dealer. We’ll call him “A”. ***In real life, during the last couple months of living at my mother’s house, “A” had been changing the location in which he wanted to meet me to sell his opiates, because he himself had been having suspicions of being “hot”; as he normally would have people come right to his house or he would meet them on the corner a couple houses down. In the dream, both me and my cousin interpreted the phone on the sidewalk as a sign that “A” was being watched, or telephone tapped, etc.

    Then I realized what we were doing walking down “A’s” street. We were going to buy opiates as we would have in real life. ***In real life, the reason I moved in with my dad was to basically rehabilitate myself from the marijuana and opiates, as it had been causing many real-life issues. My mother is still unaware of this in real life. ***In real life, after tapering myself down in dosages to avoid severe withdrawal, this was the first night of sleep I would have without opiates in a very long time.

    Back to the dream; we hop into “A’s” car and buy opiates. I buy X pills for Y dollars, (I wont go into extreme detail with this) however, it was a real life price. This is one of the few grey areas of the dream. The next thing I remember is me being like, “oh ****, I want another”. I still had the X amount that I previously bought, so it seemed as if not much time had lapsed, as whenever I buy opiates in real life I take them right away. However this time, I was in my car driving down 5th street again, and just so happened to catch “A” before he was leaving. Another reason why I believe not much time had lapsed. I however have no recollection of how I ended up in my car driving this time.*** It was however, my actual car in real life. When I caught “A” before he was leaving, I specifically and exactly remember asking, “Yeoo do you think you could give me one more for X dollars since I just bought Y amount?”. Because in real life, if you only buy one it costs a different, higher amount of dollars. ***Just one example of my subconscious being extremely active in this dream. “A” gave me the pill for the amount of dollars I asked for. Then I specifically remember orally taking X amount of these as soon as I received my last purchased opiate. I also remember being very frightened that we would be caught during the transaction, as it occurred on his street where this phone on the sidewalk was. ***Just a side note; This dream was so clear that I can still picture every single scene, in color, as I’m writing this report.

    This is another grey, yet very interesting part of this write up. Somehow, the next thing I remember is being in the passenger seat of my car next to the actor who plays Biggie in Notorious B.I.G., ***a movie that in real life I had just recently watched in the past couple days during my detox. For some odd reason he was holding me captive and I did not understand why, yet I remember specific and exact lines of us arguing about the matter. Beginning with me freaking out asking, “why are you doing this?! Let me go why are you doing this?!”. His only response was, “I just cant.”, with a very “I have to do this but don’t necessarily want to” type of attitude.*** Both in the dream, and after I woke up, I interpreted this as a consequence for me relapsing and remember in the dream the thoughts running through my head of, “wow this is what I get for spending my check on opiates after I had gotten clean, this is what I get. If I had never bought the opiates this would have never happened.”. I specifically remember thinking that as I’m sitting in the passenger seat of my car staring at Biggie, baffled by the entire situation. Because of real life values and circumstances in the dream as well, I specifically remember my subconscious telling me, “this is something you cannot put up with anymore, even though you are scared to fight back, you have to fight this”. It was then that I realized, Biggie was a metaphor for the opiates. ***As in real life, there were always consequences for me taking more opiates. Which explains his subtle, “I don’t want to do this but I have to” attitude.***As in real life the consequences are something that are unwanted yet guaranteed.

    The next thing I remember is me somehow getting out of the car to run, into what was the nearest building, a grocery store. This grocery store however, in the front did not look like a grocery store. It was an exact copy of the front of the house of a heroin addict that appeared on an episode of intervention I had been watching before I fell asleep this very night. Odd right? Anyway, I’m running through this grocery store. For some reason no one is helping or noticing the situation, nor do I remember asking. ***Just as in real life how no one knew of my addiction nor offered to help, nor did I ever ask for help. I’m not trying to ***** here, just attempting to be as descriptive as possible. I still have the clips of this dream burned into my memory of me running down an isle of the grocery store, then I would see Biggie behind me, followed by me turning down another isle, rinse and repeat. I was so ******* scared, pardon my French. I interpreted this as me attempting to run away from not only biggie, but the opiates that he metaphorically represented.

    During this chase, I had been getting further and further away from biggie in the grocery store. I do not know if this is because biggie is a rather large person, or if this is supposed to represent my confidence of escaping what Biggie represents. Another note I should add also is that from the beginning of the chase I felt slow, and the more time went on the faster I was able to run, and in turn getting further away from Biggie. ***I interpreted this as possibly representing the idea that when an addict attempts to quit their drug of choice, at first they feel like it is a very rough road and as time gets on it gets easier and easier to stay away from their drug of choice, or in this case Biggie.

    This is where things take another interesting turn. As I mentioned before, during this chase as time went on I had been getting further away from Biggie. It got to the point where we would both be running the same way, yet in different isles because I had gotten so far away from him… I.E., I would get to the end of an isle, see Biggie at the same end yet 3 isles down, and then run the other way, and he would in turn run the other way down his isle. Almost as if I had completely lost Biggie yet he was still able to keep in check where I was at in the grocery store. ***Just as an addict slowly gets further and further away from their drug of choice “catching” them again, or relapsing, yet the drug of choice is always in the back of their mind in some way, just as Biggie had always been in the picture in some way no matter how far away I ran from him.

    Another very interesting turn. During this “keeping in check” phase of the chase, as I turn down an isle to run, at the end of the isle I see a member of the Air Force in uniform who is grocery shopping. This is the first time in the entire dream that I asked for help. I ran up to him and still scared to death, asked him “Can you help me?! Biggie is chasing me he’s running the same way as I just was, about 5 isles down!”. The member of the air force sticks his head around the corner to where I was pointing, and sure enough biggie turns the corner right into the man in the air force‘s view. I had a feeling that the man in uniform would for sure help me, yet still felt the need to run because I was still scared; So I did not see what exactly happened between biggie and the air force guy. I know this sounds crazy, but keep with me.

    ***The reason this is interesting is because of the fact that I am actually leaving for the army very shortly. In fact basically the only thing I’m waiting for is my pee to be clean of marijuana, sign the dotted line, and leave for boot camp. This is very baffling to me because originally I planned to join the army because eventually I wish to be a police officer. I had planned on getting my bachelor’s degree before going, yet I attended college for 2 years, and once I received my associate’s degree in criminal justice I had decided that I really didn’t like school and was going to join the army asap. For those of you that don’t know, having an associates degree prior to joining the military is like having 4 arms instead of 2. It’s a huge leg up. ***However, as my addiction progressed over the past years, another thing that had been in my subconscious was that the army would not only land me the job I wanted, but help me with my addiction as well. I had always imagined that after enough time in the army I would have a completely new life and be free of drugs for good. I saw it as an out, as a help line. I believe this was present in my subconscious and this is why I asked the man in uniform for help. As like I said, this is the first time in the dream I had asked anyone for help, just as in real life I see it as a great possibility of help.

    The dream now takes another interesting turn. ***From this point on, every circumstance of the dream and corresponding real life subconscious events that appeared in the dream, only got better. Almost as if the man in uniform had gotten rid of Biggie. Or the army got rid of the drugs. ***However, just as a real life addict, although I couldn’t see Biggie in sight and he was believed to be gone, I knew he was still somewhere in the world and that I needed to stay away from him. Biggie of course representing an addict’s drug of choice.

    The next thing I remember is continuing to run out to my car which was in the parking lot where Biggie had left it when he had to chase me into the grocery store, only I had the keys now somehow.*** Me now mysteriously having the keys also makes me think it was representative of something. Then I remember my step dad and mother showing up. Two people that over the past few years of my life I have become distant from because of my addiction. It was almost as if we had reunited. I told my step dad and mother that biggie was chasing me and that we needed to keep running. ***Almost as if this represented me finally letting them know about my addiction after I had gotten out of the army. (Again, I interpret the man in the air force stopping biggie, as a quick representation of me going into and getting out of the army, as well as leaving the drugs). I let my step dad drive for some reason, (almost as if it represented me asking for help to continue my sobriety). As if I was finally allowing them to take part in my recovery, or in this case getting away from Biggie. =D

    A lot of the next couple scenes are just me, my mother and step dad continuing to run from Biggie. Again, I still had not seen Biggie since I told the man in the air force about him. We ran and ran and ran for a long time. I won’t go into detail here because basically that’s all it was for the next while. Yet I specifically remember it eventually coming to a calming drive, with no biggie in sight. However, like I said, I knew he was still out there somewhere, ***as well as knowing what he represented always being somewhere in the real world.

    At last, one last grey area and one last interesting turn. Suddenly I was not with my parents, but instead in an apartment, with Biggie. It was the first time I had seen him since the grocery store. However for some reason I was not scared, threatened, and felt no need to run. Something in me made everything I had felt during the rest of the dream leading up to the man in the air force, go away. We talked for a minute about guns, (something that eventually almost everyone in the military owns and makes a hobby). There was some kind of calming presence in the air that I cant describe. I was no longer scared of biggie at all, even if I had to see him every day. ***I felt oddly comfortable with it, but a different comfort than I had received from the drugs that lead to my addiction. I then, woke up.

    From going back to my mothers house to work, to relapsing, to the consequences I faced, to running away and seeing the man in the air force; to allowing my parents some insight to what had been going on over the past few years, to finally facing Biggie and what he represented. All of these events and everything in between had somehow related to real life events and/or thoughts that have existed in my subconscious for a very long time.

    These are just my interpretations, and as I mentioned before, I am very open to any constructive criticism and/or other interpretations. However, if I have dissected this dream correctly, (and I hope I have), then I do indeed see myself, eventually waking up from an unexplainable sequence of events that I never planned on to begin with. Just as a dream is, or is not.

    For those of you that have taken the time to read this long, and drawn out report, I thank you for your time and personally invite you, as well as would greatly appreciate any kind of opinionated constructive feedback.

    -Anonymous, for personal reasons of course.
     
  2. movazi

    movazi Well-Known Member

    What are you on anyway ?
     
  3. AumuA

    AumuA Well-Known Member

    Your dream I would pretty much file under "obsession to use". Dreams can sure be interesting I guess, the mind has many rooms and corridors.

    As for waking up, for me it is the 'spiritual awakening' that is waking up. From a very long sleep.
     
  4. anonym0us

    anonym0us New Member

    i swear to god i just found out that the real life person whom i refer to as "a" in this dream was shot in the face last night at 2 in the morning, am i tripping or is this a huge coincidence?
     
  5. Mr. Guitar

    Mr. Guitar Well-Known Member

    Yes, I would say that a coincidence. Unfortunately, drugs lead to death, I have had many friends pass away as the result of either selling or using.
    Not to be rude, but what exactly are you looking for? This site deals with helping people detox and stay off Opiates. If thats your goal there are many kind people here who will give you some extra support. When drugs leave your body, weed imparticularly, it can trigger very vivid & intense dreams, sounds like thats what youre experiencing.

    Why dont you tell us a little about your addiction, how long you've been using, what and how much, and how you plan on getting and staying clean. The army will provide you with some structure undoubtedly, but afganistan is a scary place for an opiate addict to be, know what I mean?

    Best of luck on your journey, like I said there are some very kind people here who will help support you through the rocky road off opiates.
    I personally have been off the dopiates for about 2 and a half years, after many many years of oxy, heroin, and well all sorts of drug abuse. It can be done!
     
  6. snapper

    snapper Well-Known Member

    Wow!!...
     
  7. RMom

    RMom Active Member

    Yep....time to wake up anonymOus
    praying for ya!
     

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