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weary mother

Discussion in 'Family and Friends' started by Maparker, Apr 21, 2014.

  1. Maparker

    Maparker New Member

    Im a Mother of 2 addicts...both have children that Im having to take care of..my oldest daughter has Lupus....she is 30 and has lupus for 5 years now..she says she is detoxing at home...Im not sure if she really is...she is with a addict that Im most positive that he is pushing drugs on her..she tells me he is doing it with her but I dont believe her...I have talked to his Mom and she says they are still using ...he is a thief and has her in trouble with the law..I worry mostly because of her sickness with Lupus...I dont believe she takes her med s for that...I need to know if she is detoxing at home what affect would her body have with the Lupus? I know Lupus affects her kidneys ....I also worry because she has let me get her kids...they have always been her life now all the sudden she wants em to stay with me so she can get clean...she was going to rehab but backed out, now she supposedly is detoxing at home...she told me today its been 5 days...she has been so sick she hasnt even bathed but once in 5 days...I really want to believe her but I dont know if I do....
  2. bolt

    bolt Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome,
    I didn't bathe for two weeks when I detoxed. Not that it is a sure sign but it sounds typical. She has to want to do it herself! remind her the children are missing her and counting on her to clean up soon.
    I don't know much about Lupus. What I do know is god will help those who help themselves. If she makes a serious attempt god will pull her threw...my prayers for you and family..keep posting
  3. Maparker

    Maparker New Member

    thank you!!!! I do trust God in all things..Its just really hard to earn trust back when all they have done is lie to you....I appreciate your prayers and your response...Thanks again..
  4. sailormom

    sailormom Well-Known Member

    I wish you the best with them and we are here for you.
  5. krish

    krish Well-Known Member

    Welcome Maparker! Please know you are not alone!

    I don't know about using / detoxing and having lupus.. maybe ask a dr or at a pharmacy?

    I did recognize myself in your post.. in that, I liked to believe my daughter was using because of a guy... I always thought if she got away from whatever guy , all be ok.. not so.. and very far from the truth. My daughter used because she wanted to use. I think if your daughter wanted to detox she might have asked you help.. she might have actually gone to the rehab she said she would go to. She also make sure she gets the heck away from the guy in her life that is using. Even his mom said they both using still... writings on the wall...

    She has to want to get well.. she has to want to leave him, she has to want her health back and most importantly want to be a mother to her kids.

    So until she is willing to do anything.. you have a big job of taking care of her kids and yourself. I suggest Alanon or some counseling for you and the kids.. It's a family disease and everyone suffers and goes thru trauma unfortunately.

    Keep posting and I am sure others will chime in for you. Hugs
  6. sailormom

    sailormom Well-Known Member

    At least here you have a place to vent and express your feelings and get some feed back to help you understand her mind frame. To me understanding my son's mind frame on that stuff is helping me heal in his loss.
  7. spring

    spring Administrator

    I don't know...it's very hard to detox on your own and especially hard when two addicts are trying to do it together. Sorta like the blind leading the blind.
    Experience tells me that they aren't detoxing and even if they were...what about after? Has your daughter talked about any recovery plans such as counseling or meetings?

    I remember all my failed attempts trying to detox at home. I could get thru one full day and sleep it away, but that second day was always the one that showed me I had no strength to do it alone because suddenly getting relief from the pain of WD became more important than my plan to detox. That would have been the right time to be in a rehab where I was physically blocked from accessing any opiates. Those first few days are very hard.

    Is there any way you can talk her into getting professional help at a rehab?

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